Acceptance

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from where I sit...all of them. In business or in the arts.

FYI You all rule the world...there may be some nt puppet head doing the talking but some of us really know where the driving force behind that head is coming from. If Aspies went on strike the world itself would come to a screeching grinding halt.

Oh really?

That's not how it looks from where I'm sitting.

How do you know all these people have Asperger's Syndrome?

I don't know for all but I know for sure about some as I am close to them but my world is full of the eccentric and intellectual whether really Aspergers or not similar traits are there. I can bluff a good game when with the herd but at the end of the day I receive a pat on the head for the "cuteness" of my trying.

Which illustrates my point ie that you have a high degree of acceptance from NTs, hence you don't have bad feeling towards them and expect others to feel like you do towards them

NTs love 'cute'. It's why I had acceptance off them when I was a cute child but when I became a non-cute adult their interest and acceptance vanished!

This is my point about them - they aren't interested in a person for themself - they are only interested in a person to the extent they tick the boxes required for a person to be acceptable to them. So you happen to tick sufficient boxes to please the NTs.

"Which illustrates my point ie that you have a high degree of acceptance from NTs, hence you don't have bad feeling towards them and expect others to feel like you do towards them

NTs love 'cute'. It's why I had acceptance off them when I was a cute child but when I became a non-cute adult their interest and acceptance vanished!

This is my point about them - they aren't interested in a person for themself - they are only interested in a person to the extent they tick the boxes required for a person to be acceptable to them. So you happen to tick sufficient boxes to please the NTs.[/quote]"


Oh, dear, I have mis-communicated perhaps...I AM the NT. I am the one that receives the "cute" pat on the head FROM the Aspies and intellectuals....that was the reason for my original question on acceptance. I was even told by one friend(and I do mean a dear friend) "you try hard but you are not really a geek". I experience the mirror image of what I have been reading here on WP.

"


Oh, dear, I have mis-communicated perhaps...I AM the NT. I am the one that receives the "cute" pat on the head FROM the Aspies and intellectuals....that was the reason for my original question on acceptance. I was even told by one friend(and I do mean a dear friend) "you try hard but you are not really a geek". I experience the mirror image of what I have been reading here on WP.[/quote]

I'm finding this very confusing

In my experience it is not NTs who have to seek acceptance off Aspies; it's the other way round

Are you sure these people aren't just geeky/bohemian/non-conformist NTs?

If you read about the communities artists and writers used to live in eg the Bloomsbury Group, they weren't following the conventions of society but they were still essentially NT ie their neurology was standard issue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloomsbury_Group

Last edited by nessa238 on 25 Mar 2013, 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am over two decades intimately involved with my community (although I did not learn of Asperger's syndrome until eight years ago) I don't want to search for "acceptance" as an NT from someone with Aspergers if it is considered an "empathy" issue. I was just hoping for some clarity about ability verses willingness.

Well I think I've given a lot of clarity as regards my feelings on the matter, I can't speak for others though.

I thought you were getting plenty of acceptance from the people with Aspergers in your community anyway?

To expect all people with Aspergers to respond to you in the same manner is unrealistic in my opinion and when they don't,
to assume it's a failing/deficiency on the part of the person with Aspergers is a bit arrogant in my opinion

You are with a group of like-minded people in your community from the sounds of it and this is probably irrespective of their neurology ie you have common interests. You will no doubt gel with some people on here and not with others. We aren't all one big homogeneous mass with the same thoughts and attitudes - we're individuals.

Are you sure these people aren't just geeky/bohemian/non-conformist NTs?

If you read about the communities artists and writers used to live in eg the Bloomsbury set, they weren't following the conventions of society but they were still essentially NT ie their neurology was standard issue


I think you have just described me! (although conservative more than bohemian)

but really I am sure about those who are AS. I want to love my friends on their turf but sometimes my own heart gets stepped on. My patience is long and my skin is thick but I am still a woman and human. My response would be different if I could determine if it was the AS or if it was them intentionally being mean. (which I understand those with AS are not exempt from being)

If a person is being mean, they are being mean

Having Asperger's Syndrome is not an excuse for being mean

Can you give an example of behaviour you are determining as mean?

From my own experiences of NTs, being mean comes as second nature to many of them ie it's a human thing, not neurologically based

I think I accept them kind of the same way Spock accepted the crew of the Enterprise, if you know what I mean.

Can the posters in this thread please take the time to preview posts to make sure the quote feature is working?

I am curious as to the central assertion of the OP, in what community are Aspies a majority?

If a person is being mean, they are being mean

Having Asperger's Syndrome is not an excuse for being mean

Well, this is what I thought but my closest and longest has been aloof to his behavior that ridicules emotional expression or lesser intelligence even after it has been brought to his attention. His response is usually to be hurt that I have told him he has hurt my feelings.

Other than this he is a really nice guy but these two areas he absolutely crushes the love right out of me. I thought if I could get some responses from my initial question I could better determine if it was the AS or willfulness.

thanks for your insights, this is helpful.

just my little niche of the world...finding it must be of my own construction

Are you discussing a relationship with one person, or "acceptance" from an "Aspie-dominated community"? I honestly am having great difficulty following this thread.

It sounds like he's a bit narcissistic to me if when you tell him he's hurt your feelings he gets upset himself

Does he apologise for hurting you or is it more of a resentment at you saying you are hurt?

It's decent human behaviour to be concerned and apologise if a person says you have upset them - a person who doesn't is
being obnoxious in my opinion, whether they have Aspergers etc or not

There's all sorts of traits that can make you think 'Oh this person has Aspergers' but they can also go along with other traits that fit with a personality disorder as well

The bottom line is that you should not tolerate hurtful behaviour