Generation conflicts, romance, having kids and autism?

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When I asked my grandma about my old Bobby-Car because I wanted to keep it in case I'll have kids of my own someday (someone already gave it away in secret, I'm sad), she was all surprised, embarrassed and laughing and like 'you having kids?'.

On the next day, she talked to my mom about that I had asked to keep some things such as my Bobby-Car or my old Lego. So, apparently it's a huge issue of some kind that I'm nearly 25 and that I don't have a boyfriend and that I don't have kids already.

Okay, the boyfriend issue is an issue though it's none of her business. As a kid, I wasn't interested in boys and during later years, I think that the autism put a lot of guys off. Someone who's awful at light conversation and who hums or flaps when in a good mood? Yeah, I can totally see how it weirded schoolmates out.

But I wouldn't mind a boyfriend now and it can't be right that I'm "too old" at 24. I mean, I don't have winkles yet and I constantly get mistaken for 18-19 at university. It probably doesn't help that most of the other students in my subject are female and that almost everyone tells me that they thought that I am younger than them but I hope that this won't be an issue.

How many young autistic people around my age had a girl- or boyfriend yet anyway? Or are in long-term relationships?

And surely it's no longer common place that people have babies in their early twenties these days?

Even my "normal" friends who're my age and older and who're in longterm relationships don't have kids yet either. They did start talking openly about how kids might fit into their lives a couple of months ago and I'm curious where that will lead but nobody has children yet.

Not having kids at 24 doesn't mean you'll never have kids! Or does it? Don't some perfectly "normal" non-autistic people only have their first baby in their 30s these days?

I don't know, but I would have thought autism was a bigger barrier (in the eyes of most people) than your age.

Of course, you probably can have children. Even if you never manage to find a suitable partner, there is always IVF, though that is expensive.

You're grandma needs to relax, quite frankly. You're twenty-four, not forty-four.

Loads of people have kids into their forties now, it's not at all uncommon, and in fact it's probably quite smart to have more time to get to know yourself and exactly what you want before you make decisions like having children. I was adopted by my parents when my mum was thirty-nine, and my dad was forty-one. I think it's stood me well to have more mature, grounded people bringing me up, particularly considering my 'issues'.

Anyway, I think, for the most part, thirty makes a better parent than sixteen, but in the end, age is only important if you let it be.

Apparently, it's also rude to ask about ages, so it's not like strangers are really likely to be a problem.

Ignore them. The b*****s might have given up on you, but that's no reason to follow their lead. Dumb f*****g c***s.

I'll keep my comments about the wisdom of spectrumites having kids to myself-- I'd be a bit hypocritical saying anything when I've got 4 that I enjoy very much.

NO, 24 is not too old. I would personally hazard that 24 is a bit young yet. I was 24 when my oldest was born; most of my family was carping that I'd messed up my life choosing to have a child so young.

Don't even start worrying about "too old" until you're well into your thirties.

Concentrate on your studies, finding a career, finding a mate who likes you for who you are, how you are. After that, unless you're infertile or doing something to prevent them (at least in the States, society makes parenting a bit of a b***h for women on the spectrum), babies will come.

I'm 24 and most people my age are still stuffing around trying to figure out life, me included. Some are married (all religious) and some have kids (all accidents) and many are single. Personally, I've been in a 6 year relationship and I have no plans to have kids for at least another 6.

In your grandma's generation most people left school and went to work. A few years later they had kids. Nowadays most people go to university so by the time we start work we are in our twenty's. That alone pushes back having children to 30 for most people - after 30 you do need to consider your biological limitations as you approach 40, although plenty of people have kids in their 40's now.

I wouldn't worry about it. Just take your time to find a nice guy who loves you. And don't worry about feeling weird, everyone is a bit weird, it's just not socially acceptable to talk about it.

People around my country get their kids average around 29-30. So there are some that start as young ones with 18, as there are some that get their first kid with 38. So with 24, you would be a really young mother in my country. So I wouldnt wait past 35 if you want to have children, because around every fifth couple around that age need more or less medical help to get babies, but 24 is a teenager in my eyes. ^^

It's very commonplace these days for people to wait until their 30s to think about having children when they're lives are more stable. The singer adele had a baby at 22 and I remember lots of negative stuff in the press about her being too young.

You have to remember that women from your grandmothers generation didn't have the opportunities we have today. They couldn't go to university, have a career or even vote. They were expected to leave school, get married and have kids, end of story. Women are treated more equally today and have more choice, and many choose to wait before getting married and having kids. Longer life expectancies today also mean that waiting isn't such a big issue.

It could also be that she's concerned about people with autism having children. The best thing for this is to try to educate her about it a bit better as I find older generations find it harder to understand. I myself have 3 children and although its hard at times they're the best thing I've ever done. I love being able to play games with them and just having fun, I think I'll be lost when they're all grown up lol. Also having aspergers doesn't mean you're incapable of love like a lot of people think, it just means you express it differently.

Lol, I have friends around that age and NO ONE is even thinking about having kids right now.
We're all too busy with university.