Help with NT logic.

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24 Mar 2013, 7:32 pm

Hi. I have a WP friend I've known since I STARTED WP! MadDuck. We've chatted about videogames for years and we still chat to this day. He has a fiancé and is getting married this year YA! He texts me etc. Well my family is like "Isn't he busy with his girlfriend" so this got me to thinking.

Is it NT logic to NOT have this man as a friend if I am single and he has a fiancé getting married? His relationship isn't an issue he's a nice guy and we chat about Mario and the latest gaming news. I see no issue with it but is my logic flawed? What is the issue here? If the fiance had an issue I understand but she doesn't and is a nice chick. I hope to continue talking for many more years married or not!

There's nothing relationship wise we are just good friends. If I ever have a boyfriend IMO the friendship wouldn't change. ( I don't though). But is it "normal" to NOT have guy friends if you're single and they are getting married?

I understand him being real busy in his life (compared to before in the past we were up until 1AM chatting.) Not anymore but I understand life changes.

Thanks for helping me understand.

sign,Brandy

AgentPalpatine
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24 Mar 2013, 7:36 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:

There's a couple ways to read this one, but the most positive situation is:

":laughing: He's texting you even through he's engaged, good for you".

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zeldapsychology
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24 Mar 2013, 7:48 pm

Oh ok. I see no issue. I guess the NT logic is once you have a fiancé you automatically dump girl or guy normal friends (depending on your sex.)

zeldapsychology
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24 Mar 2013, 8:27 pm

redrobin62 wrote:

Hmm. I think that even if the fiancée did say she was okay with you two texting and talking to each other, in the back of her mind, she probably hopes you'd get the drift that he's getting married and leave them alone to their lives. They say three's a crowd. Feelings like jealousy develop easily. It could break up a relationship, too.

He is the only friend I have to to talk about videogames. :-(

He even invited me to there wedding across the country (I'm in the U.S. in Florida he is in Missouri.) I honestly only have 2 friends him and another WP friend I e-mail. :-(

No real life face to face friends. :-(

I've never been good with that. :-(

MountainLaurel
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24 Mar 2013, 9:01 pm

Quote:

Oh ok. I see no issue. I guess the NT logic is once you have a fiancé you automatically dump girl or guy normal friends (depending on your sex.)

Zelda, please don't take what members of your family say to you and project those things onto the whole NT population.
As for whether an engaged guy texts you, it's no big deal. If he does and you like it, fine. I don't see how logic has anything to do this. It's just a choice and a minor one at that.

Edited to add the the word 'don't' (as originally meant). This was a typo; no sarcasm intended.

Last edited by MountainLaurel on 24 Mar 2013, 11:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

redrobin62
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24 Mar 2013, 9:12 pm

I had deleted my original post because I started thinking, "who am I to give relationship advice?!" If continued texting and talking to your friend is okay with him and his fiancée, then by all means, continue to do so. Also, sorry to see that you have no face to face friends. I don't either but I guess I'm used to it.

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24 Mar 2013, 10:17 pm

MountainLaurel wrote:

Quote:

Oh ok. I see no issue. I guess the NT logic is once you have a fiancé you automatically dump girl or guy normal friends (depending on your sex.)

Zelda, please take what members of your family say to you and project those things onto the whole NT population.
As for whether an engaged guy texts you, it's no big deal. If he does and you like it, fine. I don't see how logic has anything to do this. It's just a choice and a minor one at that.

This isn't the place for sarcasm, aspies don't get sarcasm lol.

Personally I see no issue here unless the relationship becomes emotional or his fiance/wife does not approve; in which case her wishes should be respected.

Kaede
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24 Mar 2013, 10:24 pm

Maybe they think it's inappropriate? I have no idea. I was always taught that it was a horrible thing to dump your friends once you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Most people I knew growing up still did it, but it was meant to be rude.
Besides, aren't married couples meant to have different interests to an extent to stop them going crazy and divorcing? I think I'm basing that off the awful chick-lit books that my mother likes to read. But they can't be complete fantasy or people wouldn't read them.

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24 Mar 2013, 10:35 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:

It would be healthiest for you both to continue being friends the way you have bee =)
His fiance is nice which is good, and understands he has his own friends and space. If she were the jealous type and you got involved with your friend that could start problems.

Think of it this way; if you were a guy would you still think about the logic of staying of friends with him or not since he's getting married?
Of course you would stay friends with him.

Folks get into relationships knowing their partners have other friends and its very accepted.

zeldapsychology
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25 Mar 2013, 5:47 am

I agree Thank You. She is not the jealous type and me and him discussed our friendship last night. He's 40's alot older than me so nothing romantic involved. He is just a friend I chat with about videogames is all. They can't have children so THAT will never get in the way of friendship unlike my sister who has a 5yr. old. :-) Thanks! :-)

zeldapsychology
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25 Mar 2013, 5:49 am

Kaede wrote:

I agree! My family dismisses fiction books etc. as OMG! fake when there HAS to be some truth to them! Totally agree there. :-)

videogames are fake but people in real life still fight in wars and shoot guns and kill enemies etc.

zeldapsychology
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25 Mar 2013, 7:30 am

Kaede wrote:

I agree! My family dismisses fiction books etc. as OMG! fake when there HAS to be some truth to them! Totally agree there. :-)

videogames are fake but people in real life still fight in wars and shoot guns and kill enemies etc.

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