Narcissism and Asperger's

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Has anyone seen a therapist and been diagnosed with narcissism first, before being diagnosed with AS? I remember my first therapist telling me that my tests showed mixed personality disorder and a heavy dose of narcissism. And I remember telling him I didn't understand how I could be a narcissist because, but he kept insisting so I went along with him. Then I got my AS diagnosis and I'm working on totally different things with my therapist now. I'm still confused to this day about that diagnosis. Can one diagnosed with AS really be a narcissist?

Both narcissists and Aspies lack empathy, but it presents differently in people with AS than in narcissists. Narcissists are unwilling to recognize people's feelings, while Aspies have a hard time doing so.

I do not like to upset anybody. However it seems I can be a bit self absorbed especially when I am on a role rambling on about something that seems to have overexcited my neurons. This can lead people to accuse me of being a narcissist. I don't think I am one but I could be wrong.

My own self-diagnosis was "somewhere near Sociopath with a healthy dose of NPD." My self-prescribed treatment "get help if you ever think you might actually kill one of these idiots. Also, stop calling people 'idiots.'"

The difference between people with Aspergers and Narcissists is FAR more pronounced in a workplace context.

Narcissists in the workplace tend to be more image-absorbed, power-hungry, and adept at seeing "the big picture" and plotting their next move - they're more about style than substance.

Whereas Asperger people in the workplace are more about keeping their head down and working diligently, producing quality, detailed work with minimal focus on "the big picture" or needing a narcissistic supply i.e. entourage, cronies and lunch buddies, etc.

However, in a non-workplace context, I can see some people getting the two confused.

My 2 cents...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately myself in relation to the world around me.

I don't really have a concept of NT (I know I keep saying that), but I notice that a lot of people who aren't Aspie (not that I know any Aspies in real life), seem to me to be more out for themselves than I am. And I am no martyristic saint, I can be self involved too. But I mean they are like over the line.

Where I work, my colleagues and I all get along pretty well, but I am always noticing things they do to put themselves a notch above everyone else, or get themselves perks, or brag about themselves or avoid blame by blaming someone else. I find it really disheartening and for me it makes them not deeply interesting. I tend to just want to avoid that stuff.

I keep wondering is something wrong my perception of this "little society"? Maybe it's not as bad as it seems and my Aspieness sees it incorrectly. Or maybe it's just the nature of our particular job which keeps us from being promoted so feels stagnating and requires other strategies to make oneself look good.

I will say though, the people who make the most moves are the ones who are most socially successful.

I know at least one person on the spectrum who I think is a narcissist.

I was apparently deemed histrionic as well as aspie. I can kinda see it. I just had no idea how to socialize with people and NOT be the center of interest.

I kind of have a theory that people may see Aspies as Narcissists because of an apparent reluctance on our part to admit that our perception of a situation was off - I've been "too proud" to admit my errors in misinterpreting things, instead going on the defensive and explain how and why I chose the course of action that I did, and why it made sense, even though the other person might strongly believe that there was a better response based on situational factors that they filtered more accurately than me. Tie that in with the Aspergers tendency to be hypersensitive to criticism, which a narcissist can be also. So, anyways, I used to admit fault for such misunderstandings, but I got so fed up with the rub-in-your-face reactions and rebukes that I started denying that my perception was wrong and justifying it. THAT could be interpreted as narcissistic, but THEIR perception would be off.

There are striking similarities between Narcissism and Aspergers, but the display of empathy or attempt of it is probably the difference between the two. Aspies try and be empathetic, but display it rather poorly. Narcissists don't really care at all for it.

Aspies have a tendency to be really hurt when they realize they hurt someone else's feelings. I'm not sure about anyone else here, but I have in fact beaten myself up a few times for having this perception that I really hurt someone, when it later turned out not be such a big deal. But surprise, surprise... when something is a big deal to them, I don't quite understand why.

I myself have been told I engage in self-defeating behaviours often, and it can display narcissist traits---> particularly the part where I say something mean and get a bad reaction. Then I come across as selfish because I don't understand why they are upset. Yet I keep doing it. It always happens when I get the perception that the other person is going to hurt me, or has.

I'm unofficially diagnosed with Self-Defeating Personality Disorder.