What's the best way to deal with AVPD?

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It's like a partial AVPD that makes me totally passive and not really an initiator for anything. Friendships never develop because I am not really an active participant or do any of the affirmative things to maintain it. I think it could be related to my diagnosis of AVPD.

Would it kill you to state what "AVPD" stands for?

Would it kill you to look it up?
AvPD - Avoidant Personality Disorder.

You were given a formal diagnosis for AVPD based on the fact(s) that you are (according to your description) totally passive and "not really an initiator for anything." There is more to AVPD than these traits! IF you are totally passive, who woke you up and got you dressed, turned on the computer and posted this message on wrongplanet?

You will tell me that in the entirety of your life, not once have you done a single thing to initiate of maintain a friendship. You are actually writing that every friendship that has ever occurred did so independently of your participation. The other person or people might just as well have been standing around talking to themselves, for all the good it did them. When you look at it from this point of view, does it still make sense?

Have you ever considered the possibility that you're depressed? This does not make what you are experiencing any less significant a problem. Depression may not sound as mysterious and dangerous as AVPD or Bipolar, but it sounds more to me like you're not happy or energetic. Bipolar would be passive AND active. Detached AND involved.

I'm not a Psychiatrist, but people with AVPD tend to isolate OTHER people along with themselves, which often is the reason friendships come to an end. Most other people object to feeling they're being made a prisoner in relationship. You didn't mention doing anything like this...or of having bouts of insomnia or outbursts of aggression where you take charge of everything and go on wild spending sprees and such.

If the characteristics of passivity and failure to initiate or work to sustain friendships are those you've described that have earned you a formal Dx of AVPD, you ought to be seeking a second opinion. And I would seek a second opinion on Bipolar, as well. You sound as though you are "down" in your mood and lacking in energy. Having a physical checkup would not be a bad idea, as well...you don't mention whether you've been this way "as long as you can remember" or whether its just been a problem for the past year or so. Before making assumptions that your mind is the problem, make sure you aren't suffering from a vitamin deficiency or hormonal imbalance. You may have an allergy to something that is commonly eaten that is making you feel worn out, lethargic and "in a fog." It is so much easier to correct problems like this than it is to try to fix what isn't broken in your head!

No, those aren't the only things that led to a AVPD diagnosis; it's probably the things that motivate this behavior (and cause other things). I do not yet have a formal diagnosis of Bipolar. AVPD was diagnosed about 5 months ago. Pretty sure it's accurate. These aren't the only symptoms, just the main ones. I think the holding people captive isn't required if you know this isn't socially acceptable and you fear that this itself could lead to rejection.

Anyway, whether or not a full DX of AVPD is warranted all the time or just when I'm depressed, I definitely have avoidant traits. So what is the best way to work on them?

When I'm depressed I avoid everyone and everything. Exposure therapy was always recommended to me - you go out and try achieve small goals and build your confidence. You can also reflect on why you avoid those things and work on those. Also if you are avoidant because you're depressed then dealing with the depression will help a lot.

I'm usually anti-meds but as a last resort I'm trying Loxalate (escitalopram) which is an anti-depressant but also tackles some bipolar/OCD type of mood and obsessive issues. Other regular anti-depressants have never done anything for me but these are just amazing.

Good luck.

The only way I've had friendships in my life was because the other person initiated. When I was 12 we moved to a new place and I had a friendship with two next door neighbor boys. It was always one or both of them who would knock on my door to see if I could come out and play or telephone me. Never once did I ever knock on their door or call them. Which is something I'm only aware of in retrospect.

My one best/only friend as an adult, a cousin, finally somewhere along the way started expressing exasperation in the fact that he was always the one who had to initiate. He said he was beginning to wonder if he was just being a pest.

Now when anyone ever initiates something I'm usually all in. I'm eager to participate in whatever. But it's extremely rare that I initiate anything or invite someone to have lunch with me or whatever. I think that's a combination of avoidance and also being solitary being my default mode. I'm always in default solitary mode unless someone initiates some kind of interaction. I think another part of that is people are always busy and I'm sure I'm going to catch them at the wrong time and or put them on the spot.

As for how to deal with it, I dunno. I'd start of with Googling "What's the best way to deal with AVPD?"

WebMD says, "As with other personality disorders, a mental health professional will design a treatment plan that is appropriate for you. Avoidant personality disorder treatments vary, but they will likely include talk therapy. If a co-existing condition, such as depression or anxiety disorder, is also diagnosed, appropriate medications may also be used."

The med that's always worked best for me on a short term basis is Xanax. If I pop one of those, it greatly reduces avpd, anxiety, phobias etc.