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rebbieh
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29 Mar 2013, 10:37 am

About 2 months ago, when it was decided that I'm going to get assessed for ASD, the psychologist told me one sign of me possibly having an ASD is the fact that I strictly followed rules as a child (still do). Never broke the rules. Also, I was annoyed/upset when my siblings didn't adhere to the rules so I often told my parents when they did something they weren't supposed to do. The psychologist said that's pretty unusual among children. That most kids bend the rules and see how far they can go without getting told off etc. Is that true? Is adherence to rules a sign of ASD in a child?

Did you follow rules as a child? Still doing so?



mikassyna
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29 Mar 2013, 10:42 am

I am more difficult when it comes to my self-imposed rules. As a child I was very good with rules at school (because they made sense) but could not tolerate rules at home (which often didn't make sense to me, as they conflicted with my self-imposed rules).

I work in a law office (nope, not a lawyer) and my attention to details and the letter of the law exacerbates my condition. In another thread I mentioned my then-newlywed husband and I were on our honeymoon in New Zealand and I argued with the teller about his waiving our baggage fee, because I had read the rules and knew that we should be charged for the extra baggage despite his telling us we didn't have to pay. My husband was aghast and at that point was wondering who the hell he married.



kx250rider
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29 Mar 2013, 10:47 am

I would say that I followed rules to the letter for non-family, but I probably tested the rules as much as any child for my family. As an adult, I tend to follow rules, laws, customs, and procedure "per the book", if at all possible. The only exception is traffic laws, as I reasonably feel that traffic laws are written and enforced assuming the "average driver in the average vehicle". So by that I mean that if the speed limit is 65, this would be considered "reasonably safe" for a 1972 Plymouth with 80%-worn tires and an elderly driver with failing vision and slower reflexes in potential poor weather, so if I am in excellent health with perfect vision in a 2013 vehicle, on a sunny day with light traffic, I can "reasonably safely" exceed the speed limit (breaking the letter of the law, but obeying the spirit of the law).

As far as rules like no food/drink in a public building, or no knives in the airport, or keep dogs on leash, etc., I don't break those rules because it's not worth the possibility of being confronted or knowing that I might be the focus of disdain.

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briankelley
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29 Mar 2013, 10:49 am

Yep. I'm a stickler.



Tyri0n
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29 Mar 2013, 11:36 am

I've always had an inability to understand and follow most rules even when I wanted to.



seaturtleisland
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29 Mar 2013, 11:59 am

I was like that as a kid. I was the goodie two shoes type person which is why it amazes me the way I am now. I don't even recognize myself from a year ago let alone from childhood.

I never drank in my mid-teenage years. I did exactly what the adults wanted me to do and followed rules almost submissively. I was also one of the 3% of kids in my grade in high school without a cell phone because I didn't want one. I had to be the mature one who realized that I didn't need one until I was out and about for co-op or University. A cell phone is not a toy even though the modern ones resemble toys with all their features and built-in games. I'm more laid back now but I didn't start seeing things differently until very recently.

I don't think it's necessarily a sign of an ASD. It could be the result of strong rigid morals. I've known some aspies that were quite rebellious. I haven't known too many NTs that follow rules rigidly though.



xMistrox
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29 Mar 2013, 12:28 pm

Yes, and it drives people around me crazy. Also their lack of following the rules, especially at work drive me crazy as well.

For instance, we'll have a staff meeting and we are told strictly that when people sign up for a card we have to take their SSN or they cannot have one, then two weeks later they say the exact opposite and punish me for refusing them a card and say that I've probably turned them and their entire family and friends off from getting cards. Same thing when I go to a restaurant I cannot afford and people try to give me food off of the buffet. Also when a check-out at the grocery store gave me an extra 20 dollars back, I returned it to a cashier nearby, much to my mother's dismay.

Despite the system failing me, especially while growing up, I still have a strong belief in it and doing what I see as the right thing.


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League_Girl
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29 Mar 2013, 12:30 pm

Yes and no. I also broke them too because I was confused because I see other kids do it and they wouldn't get in trouble so I thought it was okay to do. And the school staff wondered why I had behavior problems? :roll:

Kids even thought two of our teachers were mean and I couldn't see what was so mean about them. Mom told me it was because the teacher made them work and made them follow the rules and the kids didn't like it. I didn't have a problem with it because I was taught to follow them and other parents don't bother teaching their kids that. I think kids have issues with strict people because they enforce the rules and are pretty black and white about it and there is barely any gray. That is what kids need anyway, consistence.


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Last edited by League_Girl on 29 Mar 2013, 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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29 Mar 2013, 12:32 pm

When I was a kid I did, but I think it was more because I took things more litterally so I thought all rules 'had' to be followed or else it wasn't nessisarily that I agreed with them never really thought about that just thought they had to be followed and bending them would bring some severe consequence. But once I was about 15 I kinda started questioning it more and such.


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goldfish21
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29 Mar 2013, 1:40 pm

seaturtleisland wrote:
I don't think it's necessarily a sign of an ASD. It could be the result of strong rigid morals. I've known some aspies that were quite rebellious. I haven't known too many NTs that follow rules rigidly though.


Being a stickler for rules or having strong rigid (inflexible) morals is definitely an AS trait. Sure, some are quite rebellious & don't follow rules at all.. and that's because not every Aspie has every Aspie trait. Every single AS person has a different profile of traits and degrees of them.


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Greb
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29 Mar 2013, 1:52 pm

In my case, absolutely yes.

Indeed, not having respect for rules is a friendship dealbreaker for me.


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MjrMajorMajor
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29 Mar 2013, 2:02 pm

Rules always seemed absolute for me growing up. I had the hardest time when authority figures broke their own rules. Whenever I ran into that it put me in free fall because that framework wasn't solid, but riddled with termites and ready to tumble at a moment's notice.



CyclopsSummers
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29 Mar 2013, 2:06 pm

As you can tell from the posts so far, it takes on very different forms per person. While I do have a tendency to adhere to rules most of the time, my mother reports that I could be very naughty in my earliest years, testing the boundaries of her authority. Also, perhaps needless to say, I will rebel against rules when I feel that they go against my sense of ethics or my sense of logic, so in that respect it could be said that I do stick to rules, but those rules are my own.

I do think that there's sense in what your psychologist says, but 'adhering to rules' doesn't necessarily manifests in the traditional sense of the term.


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Ai_Ling
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29 Mar 2013, 3:07 pm

Sticking to rules to the extremities, down the literal, yep. I did that as a child, however once I turned 18, I rebelled and then went to college...etc. I didnt understand what was right and wrong anymore, everything is so gray, I was confused. I feel aspies do anything and everything to the extremes, good, bad, whatever. We can be extreme rule, law abiding citizens to every literal word or we can be crazy criminals doing whatever illegal with no regards for morality.



rebbieh
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29 Mar 2013, 3:09 pm

Thanks for the replies!

I should probably add that I follow the rules that make sense to me. When I was a child I followed all rules. I also wanted to know all the rules for all situations (still do). Like I said, nowadays I adhere to the rules that make sense to me and when rules do make sense to me I get upset/annoyed if other people break them. People sometimes get annoyed with me because of that. My boyfriend for example often gets annoyed with me for being so strict about the rule to turn off electronic equipment during take-off and landing when flying. He says it's no big deal but I force him to turn them off every time because that's the rule. That's just an example.

I like rules. They make things feel safe and organised. At least in my opinion.



goldfish21
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29 Mar 2013, 3:51 pm

I prefer Laws to Rules, as you cannot break the Laws. (of nature, science, math, philosophy, physics, chemistry, karma, the universe etc) I consider man made "laws," to merely be "Rules of man," created for the purpose of control, almost always to satisfy someone else' Greed. The more a Rule breaks any Laws, the less sustainable in the long term it becomes as people begin to realize they're being manipulated and controlled for the purpose of someone else' Greed. Therefore, I'm a Law abiding citizen, but often break the Rules - for it is Law that Rules were meant to be broken. ;)


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