Called "Crazy" by peers

Post Reply New Topic

This is rant-advise post.

I try my best to be conceive as "normal" by my classmates, but it seems like no matter how hard I try I will never be as good as those people. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel "normal", and not a lot of people point out my quirks, so I thought I passed the normalcy test. However, recently I hear my classmates whispering, "Yeah, she's crazy!" or ever saying to me "well, you're kind of ... you know crazy"or "You're not ... normal people." I reacted by saying, I heard that, I'm not crazy. One time, said I'm used to it don't worry. But in all honesty, I wasn't used to it. I'm used to people calling me weird, but not yet with crazy.

Hearing this comments discourages me to communicate to other people. I don't want to make mistakes. To me, it's like failure - not an option. I try to make an effort to teaching myself the skills that I am lacking, but I feel so discouraged since I put more effort into learning social skills, than the average person, yet my efforts are not recognized. I am not seeing results that I am expecting, which is to be at the same level as my peers. I cannot understand it. It doesn't make sense how someone who tries so hard is still not as good as someone who just learns it naturally. I guess (I'm just realizing this now), that this is why some people say to me "I hate you" because I don't really try hard to get a good grade in class, but I still get the highest mark.

Simply put, this world to me does not make sense at all. But everything that doesn't make sense to me makes sense to everyone else that I know, so I'm the common denominator. Therefore, I don't make sense?

Do those people who say "I hate you", actually hate me or is this a joke?

What should I do to assimilate myself with my peers and be considered "normal"?

How do you react to being called crazy by your peer? Is this playful teasing?

Am I the problem, should I change so people will not recognize me as crazy - be more flexible - since my rigidity and reactions to unexpected things is what they perceive as unusual? I really feel like I'm the source of the problem and I should change to be more NT, the problem is, I don't know how to be one. What is the theory information/rules for being NT, such as one is only allowed to speak after the other person finished speaking?

Who says those people are better than you? They are not. They are the sheep of this world. Who wants to be just another match in the box. You are a unique individual with your own talents. Don't ever forget that.

Sometimes people say "crazy" in an affectionate way, sometimes in even an admiring way when someone has done something daring. It's easy to misperceive peoples' banter. If they were being mean, don't hang around near them any more than you have to. I'm sure they will tire of stupid comments in the end.

Whirlingmind is right, they have no right to judge; they are the sheep.

I failed the "normalcy" test early on in grade school. I didn't try to fit in, i developed my own character easier than anyone clutching a "clique" would have.

These people who are mean to you are fools and follow the crowd. They don't seem to be able to think for themselves, and are terribly judgemental.

You are much better than them, always remember that. You should act and do as you please, don't worry about what they will call you.
When time goes by, you would be more likely to do good in the world, they are more likely to get knocked up in high school.

Aren't those people suppose to be better than me about social stuff, cause they're NT?
What do you mean by "sheep of this world."


I;'m sure it wasn't affectionate, otherwise they wouldn't be whispering it. Also, they said it in a bit of a hesitant manner, so they're not exactly mean and it's not just one person or two doing recognizing my quirks. There are very few people (actually 1 or maybe 2) who actually point out to me the odd things that I do, but many recognize that I am not part of the norm. They say, I'm different and I like you. However, none of them (or at least none pointed it out, except for maybe 2 older more educated persons) pointed out that I might have AS.

So, should I continue to interact, or just block everything out?

It's better to not conform than to conform, you know.
Well, not extremely. Like, if all your friends say a sport or TV Show sucks, watch it, you never know if you'll like it.
That's what I mean to not conform.

Well, I know exactly how you feel. It used to be a bit like that with me--but somehow, I've passed the normalcy test. It's not just me, really--I've been to several school districts over the years, and the one I'm in right now is home to what is probably one of the nicest crops of kids for miles. There's bullying to some extent, but compared to the other schools I've been to these kids are like angels. It might also be due to the fact that I only came in the 5th grade, so they never knew me as a stupid elementary schooler (I had no idea how to act semi-NT, back then).

Anyway, the people who say they hate you--they probably don't hate you personally, but are just jealous. At my old school (where the kids were evil demons or something) I caught word that one kid had said he hated me and thought I was crazy, and a second shared that opinion, and in addition wanted me dead. This was towards the end of the year, after they'd inquired as to what I'd scored on the test, asked how I managed to study so much, and found that I hadn't at all many times over. Just ignore them, if you can manage. And I've also found that avoiding mentioning academic matters as much as possible helps.

If someone calls you crazy, it really depends on the situation whether they're playfully teasing or not. I have a friend who's NT but is very hyperactive, my friends and I all say he's crazy as a joke. He actually takes it as a compliment. On the other hand, as I mentioned earlier, at my old school I was called crazy and wanted dead by at least two, and that wasn't friendly at all.

I agree with the previous posters; don't try to conform entirely. It's important to stay true to who you are (and really, assuming you live in America, and maybe it's like this in the UK and some other places, too: if your peers can't see past the stupid education system and get good grades without studying then you do not want to be exactly like them).

They may be more skilled in social interactions, but that does not make them better than you. Sheep all flock together, following each other round, all the same. This is what these people do, literally and verbally.

If you feel they are friends, you may have to put up with the banter, if they are just kids being mean who haven't befriended you, yes I would suggest staying away. You could always ask them whether they are joking or serious when they say things. There isn't full enough information in your post to know what their intentions are for sure, being there, only you can try to judge.

Whoever said they hate you probably doesn't really hate you. They were just upset that their efforts still put them in 2nd place. If they do really hate you, which is unlikely, then that's their problem - not yours. It's them who's jealous and acting crazy for hating someone else for their success, even if your success comes w/ natural ease vs. effort. Anyone, NT or otherwise, is a bit nuts for hating someone for being better than them at something. Don't be too worried about that. Besides, it's probably more just an impulsive figure of speech vs. ACTUALLY hating you. People often say things they don't mean. Even between friends, if one wins and the other loses the loser might be a sore loser and say, either jokingly or even seriously, that they hate the other person - but in reality they don't truly hate them, they're just upset that they lost. That's the nature of competition.. and of sore losers.. and of Aspies taking things too literally all the time.

Do you have any friends among the group that call you crazy? Or that are aware of others calling you crazy? You literally need to ask someone to break it down and define what "crazy," things you do so that you can be aware of the behaviours you do, or things you say, etc that get that reaction from people so that you can work on them. "Crazy," is far too vague and not helpful constructive criticism, especially when you don't know why they're saying it exactly. Be in an open minded calm mood and ask someone what people mean by that exactly, ask them for specific examples and listen with the intent of learning as much about others' perceptions of you as possible.

But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy.
No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy.

Crazy and genius are related.

Yes and I know for a fact potato! I'll go grab some defibrillator paddles and we can start having some real fun!

My sugesstion to you is don't become a conformist. The ignorant neurotypicals who can't understand why we are so obessive with our special interests tend to be very dull in their personality.

I think it's a compliment to be called one but it depends on the context and what the situation is and what the person's intent is. I also find the word to be neutral and it means nothing so it has no effect and I don't care what their intention is.

If that's they way 'normal' people treat you do you really want to be normal and be friends with those people? Perhaps its better to accept yourself rather than trying to conform to 'normal' there is no clear definition of that anyways. Everyones trying to live up to some goal of 'normal' well very few people actually live up to it anyways.

I mean if you focus so much on fitting in you won't very well be able to get to know yourself and develop into your own person, it is sometimes possible to try to hard to be something you simply arent which can be off putting to people to. I wish I had some better advice as to how to maybe get away from negative people like that and surround yourself with better people....but chances are you're in school so kind of hard to control whos around you. I had pretty much the same experience except I stopped trying to fit in rather early on...but yeah fellow students typically where not so tolerant of my abnormalities.

I wouldn't say they're friends, but they are part of the circle of people to whom I speak, so acquaintances would be a better fit.

They said the behaviours that I do that are considered crazy and beyond the norm are my hypo/hyper sensitivities to temperature, childish behaviours. I also "freaked out" at a test question that did not make sense to me and I was the only one that reacted negatively since it was a 'free' mark. I also play with certain equipments that to me are like toys that make sound (even annoying high-pitch ones like finger nails on a chalk board) and continue with it even after being told to stop. I guess its just idiosyncratic behaviours meant to comfort myself. Oh, and also rigidity or resistance to change, I guess is one of the root causes for certain misbehaviours.

I would never change how i act for anyone. People will like me, for me. Not who i never pretend to be.

People will like you for you, you don't have to assimilate to fit in with them.
Kids can be cruel, they form flocks of sheep, and all think the same thoughts and actions such as clones.

Why be a clone when you can be yourself? It is most comfortable to be oneself.
I don't know if your in High School yet or not, however many change social circles and after HS these people will be likely popping out babies or going to college out of state and you wouldn't talk to them anyway.

It's better to have a few good friends than a ton of fake friends