College- what works and doesn't work?

Post Reply New Topic

How does one make friends in college? How do you find what you want to do in college, i.e. find your major, and so forth? How does one get into the dating scene in college? College is making me more and more insecure each day, I do not make friends, I have no clue what I want to do here, and making friends becomes increasingly foreign to me each day; I've grown to hate myself from the whole experience (keep in mind I've been taking classes roughly since the age of 16/17.. it's gotten tiring and I see little benefit from it.) Thoughts? Suggestions?

Could you give us a little more detail? Your desired occupation, broad type of major, your interests, commuting/off-campus/on-campus/etc.

One thing, people are just much more open the beginning of the school year. Here in the United States means late August, early September.

I was socially incompetent throughout college. I graduated but made few friends. The only advice I can offer is to get into clubs pertaining to whatever you are interested in. I never made one friend in class, and had a terrible time approaching professors.

For me, the best way to make friends (though I admit I do not go out and socialize outside of school) has been to just talk to people in class.

As for finding a major that makes you feel at home...you just never know. I came to college with no clue what I wanted to do with my life but started out in biomedical science because my family thought I might like that kind of thing. I then switched to mathematics, where I was required to take a C programming course. I had never written a line of code in my life until that point, and I fell in love with it. I am now a junior computer science major.

Dating? I am learning about that, little by little. Before you know it, if you talk to people in your classes enough, one might ask for your number. That happened to me this semester, and I have gone on 3 dates so far with a fellow CS major who shares many interests with me, is a true gentleman, and has fantastic brown eyes. I am also scared to death that he might start trying to show physical affection, which I am REALLY uncomfortable with.

Just go with the flow (as hard as that can be for an Aspie...ha)...things you never would have imagined might just unfold.

I made friends by accident. I was an A grade average so people would track me down to help them with assignments and so on. Sometimes they would invite me out and chat with me at lunch time too! They seemed to think I was funny...

Dating happened by accident as well.

I never could make up my mind which degree I wanted so I kept changing subjects. I never finished my degree anyway as I left for family reasons etc.

College was about the only time I was able to make friends. I loved the college environment, it was like a second home to me.

The best ways I've found to make friends are to connect with people in your major and study/do homework with them, and to join some smaller clubs and go to their activities frequently. You probably share quite a few classes with the same people, so just go up to them sometime and say "Hey, have you started on problem x? I couldn't figure out how to do _____." and use that as a starting point for a conversation.