Why...when it comes to social chit chat...

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Why am I expected to spend hours listening to inane social chit chat that I am not interested in when they are not willing to spend time listening to me rattle on about my latest fascination.

It does not seem fair that I am frowned upon for wanting to chat about my interest when I am supposed to accept that it is normal for them to torture my brain for hours with their need for pointless nattering about nothing of any real substance at all.

I am told off if I bore them by going on about my favourite subject, but they don't care if they bore me with their incessant chit chat.

Ummmmm.....

Taking it away from myself (as that is merely my way of communicating and it does not always mean I want to talk about 'me' per se it just means I am trying to launch a topic of discussion and I have begun by expressing it via my own perspective so please for the love of god don;t make this post about me, I know about me, I don't need to discuss me today) as I really want to discuss why it is seen as normal for someone to spend hours making social chit chat but it is seen as so abnormal for someone to actually want to spend time talking about a subject of interest instead.

My question is:

When it comes to societies tendency to insist that we must spend time making social chit chat rather than talking about our interests do you think it is a bit of a double standard?

After all they can spend hours talking about what they want but when we talk about what we want...oh no can't do that.

They can be as obsessed with making social chit chat as they want and that is normal...yet when we are passionately interested in something it is abnormal!

They do like to dominate the conversation a bit not to mention how people think and what they should and should not be into.

Your opinions (on the subject, not me) if you please...

I quite agree; it makes no sense. An NT can dominate the conversation complaining about work or trashing mutual acqaintances you don'f even know but not discussing something interesting.

I quite agree; it makes no sense. An NT can dominate the conversation complaining about work or trashing mutual acqaintances you don'f even know but not discussing something interesting.

I quite agree; it makes no sense. An NT can dominate the conversation complaining about work or trashing mutual acqaintances you don'f even know but not discussing something interesting.

I quite agree; it makes no sense. An NT can dominate the conversation complaining about work or trashing mutual acqaintances you don'f even know but not discussing something interesting.

I quite agree; it makes no sense. An NT can dominate the conversation complaining about work or trashing mutual acqaintances you don'f even know but not discussing something interesting.

I totally agree that it's a double standard, and I don't really know why. I don't agree with it or accept it, either.

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woow lol someone please remove multiple posts. there was some glitch in the forum.

I always think of social chit chat as a barrier that people use to stop getting too close to each other while at the same time feeling "connected". There are certain subjects that are considered acceptable as conversation fodder, that people can gab on about endlessly without ever having to put anything of themselves into the conversation. They really don't like it if someone tries to drag them out of their comfort zone and puts them in danger of having to actually listen, or even possibly to have to think.

I always think of social chit chat as a barrier that people use to stop getting too close to each other while at the same time feeling "connected". There are certain subjects that are considered acceptable as conversation fodder, that people can gab on about endlessly without ever having to put anything of themselves into the conversation. They really don't like it if someone tries to drag them out of their comfort zone and puts them in danger of having to actually listen, or even possibly to have to think.

My conclusion is the content of their conversation has little importance even to them. What they're engaged in is friendly banter between them and experiencing the medium of conversation.

My thoughts on this are influenced by Marshall Mcluhan (The Medium Is The Message) who observed that human beings are profoundly influenced by communication mediums.

For example, if someone is obsessive about Texting. The content of their texts doesn't matter to that person as much as the activity of Texting itself by sending and receiving blobs of text.

It might also be similar to people posting garbage on Facebook and then another person responds with a serious thought out reply and people get annoyed.

Well, NT people are not really obsessive with small talk. It is just considered a mild middle point easy to manage, with no polemic issues and where you can relax and enjoy social interaction. The content is not important, as long as it's not cumbersome. Indeed, the more inane, the better, since the goal is to relax and enjoy company, not to share information.

For a NT, chatting about any aspie's obsessions is nor relaxing neither enjoyable, so it takes away the main purpose of small talking.

Well, NT people are not really obsessive with small talk. It is just considered a mild middle point easy to manage, with no polemic issues and where you can relax and enjoy social interaction. The content is not important, as long as it's not cumbersome. Indeed, the more inane, the better, since the goal is to relax and enjoy company, not to share information.

For a NT, chatting about any aspie's obsessions is nor relaxing neither enjoyable, so it takes away the main purpose of small talking.