Starting over at 26.

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Alright so I'm moving on friday, to toronto canada.

And basically I'm starting my life over from scratch.

I came out of denial(aspergers) six months ago, so it's a big deal for my life to be changing so drastically.

I feel I've finally came to terms with most parts of Aspergers.

However I'm gonna have to start over in school, move to a new city much bigger than I'm use to, and start living an adult life as an aspie, not an NT.

Anyone else gone through this total reboot, my biggest worry of course is the fact that I"m 26, not 18. Having to go back to university seems like a daunting challenge as I"m also doing a major career path change.

Hi Stoek,

I know where you're coming from.

It's difficult to accept that one has been living in denial for so long (or maybe rather just not knowing any better).

One quickly loses 8-10 very important years in which others have been living "non-stop".

How exactly did you come out of denial?

Having aspergers we were only about 12 emotionally when we were 18, so it's no wonder we did not realise things back then...

For the record, I'm one of the few aspies, that actually feels much older due to my autism than younger.

The feeling that I'm too old for this s**t, is way stronger than the feeling I lack maturity.

In fact coming out of denial for me seems to have been about 10 years ago now, although it was just last oct.

In short I was ignorant on what it means to have it. I'm at the higher end of things, or would of have been if I had known sooner, so it was a major surprise to realize I have to be autistic.

I actually figured it out in an engineering problem solving class. Where one was expected to solve a problem.

We had to pick the most typical of problems(not having a girlfriend), and pick it apart until we came to a logical cause of that problem.

Anyhow after years of different experiences it was blatantly obvious that I had a neurological problem.

I started at 29 and finished at night 34. Be honest with them up first that you have Aspergers. Take advantage of having note taker it is free. Don't be ashamed. You have a different learning style and that is fine. Schools are very sentive to this now. My problem was I had a habit of telling professor their are full of s**t. Don't this it is best to leave the class and comeback later. However, most of them are full of s**t. Also, realize it is highly likely that you will change your major once you get there. This is normal so do sweat it. Remember college is a racket. Your degree is just the price of admission to a higher paying job. One other thing avoid any degree that has to do with teaching. This was my major. I was trying to right the wrongs of experience as a student. I found out that most teachers are dumber than hammered dog s**t. The kids like me because I just shoot it to them straight. However, I got my degree and I am doing something else. Which is fine. I can still use my degree in another other. Like I said it is the price of admission.

1. Tell them you have Aspergers
2. Ask them if they had someone that could stay with you the first day to get you situated and help you to the filling out paper work and get your books. It is not that you can do this but you can reduce your stress for a new place.
3. Ask for note taker
4. Tape of every class lecture, this helped me when I looked at my notes later.
5. Make sure you go to the site Ratemyprofessor.com. This can help you to avoid a**hole professors.
6. Don't tell the professor off. They can be vindictive.
7. Remember they going to make you take class that have nothing to do with your interest. Make sure if they give you the option to take and easy class like 'jerking off 101. ' Take it. You can use your free time to study for another BS class.


Yes, it is worth it. Just always try to reduce the stress so take advantage.

Sorry any errors I am writing this on the go. Cheers.

Stoek,

I think I can relate to some of the things you describe. I'm 29, and have just come out of denial in the last 6 to 8 months. I've also had to move from England to the subcontinent earlier this year, hopefully temporarily, for better employment prospects.

I can also relate to my autism making me feel much older than I actually am. I would say I've been experiencing the, "my best years are behind me syndrome" since I was approximately 16 years of age, and during my struggles to come to terms with myself during this time I've always been tempted to give up because "it's simply too late."

While the change of living circumstances has not exactly been a welcome one, I've been able to adapt to it much better than I expected, armed with the new self-knowledge and acceptance that I am trying to develop. So many of my worries have been based on me not being comfortable in my own skin and starting to change that has really given me some extra strength in dealing with life's circumstances.

All that thinking it is too late does, in my opinion, is make us delay making the necessary changes we need to make in our lives until it is actually too late!

I'm going through a reboot like that right now at the age of 50.

I live in Canada's other city.

I'm basically rebooting my life as well, but have family support for now.

I, too, figured out my own AS 6 months ago.. just after I turned 30, so you have a 4 year head start on me - which is long enough to complete a University education.

I don't know what the average age is at the school you'll be attending, but when I hit the books here right after high school the average age of students in my program & school wide was 28, so 26 is by no means "old," to be going to University. In many ways you'll have advantages over younger students. Even if you're "socially impaired," you'll have the advantage of first impressions w/ potential employers viewing you as older, wiser, more mature & dependable w/ more life & work experience etc.

As the youngest graduate in my class (19) age worked against me in those ways and I kind of wished I had slowed things down and completed school a bit later in order not to be treated like a useless kid upon graduation. I know now that, at least in part, those experiences were my perception problem & I could have done better (initiating a career) despite my age.. but I didn't know what I know now about my neurological diagnoses and how to deal with them.

IMO, knowing about your AS and being 26 and going to school = infinitely higher probability of success in many areas. Roll with it.. as it is what it is & you can't change it. Besides, from my perspective, I'm not sure I'd want to change it if I were you. Plenty of advantages to your situation over when I studied. Good luck!

Good luck. I started over at exactly your age (in my case, leaving an abusive relationship) - moved to a new city, went back to school. I felt old but in hindsight 26 is still very young! What are you going to study? Don't choose stupidly like I did...

Thanks for that... I am 47 and getting ready to go back to school.

To Stoek: 26? You may feel old, but you really are not!

There have been times i have gone through semi- "reboots" such as moving to different states.
Make sure to not pressure yourself by taking on too much. If you are going back to school, it might be good to find a new therapist to talk to just in case. Sometimes school can be a lot, especially if you are going full time.
Don't stress yourself out and overwhelm yourself.
Sometimes it's good to start out with smaller steps. Orient yourself with the new area, so you get familiar with it.
It is a city, i'm not sure if your used to living in cities, yet they have lots of people (i know its a dumb statement...)
I would never live in a populated area again, thats just me though.
Check out what resources are available for you in Toronto to help with Aspergers.
There's been a time i went back to school and it ended up being messy in the sense that i took on too much and thus made it by the skin of my teeth. Physically i wasn't well either (this happened mid semester) and my mother was driving me to school due to seizures i couldn't do it.

I just get worried about people taking on too much... since i did. I am not underestimating you or anything like that.
It's a whole new city to get used to...

Yeah for one thing, I'm being very careful not to take on to much. I got a very simple plan, focus on my health, and either work or study. No trying to do both etc.

I've moved a few times before so I semi know what to expect.

Granted the reboot thing is tricky. I don't really wanna re invent myself per se. I wanna maintain what I have going here at home in the city.

So me going to the city is enabling less of a change than if I stay here.

Yay! 41 here and "rebooted" everything at 38. Came out of the closet, got a divorce, moved clear across the country with my young child, went back to college full-time for something completely different than what I'd been doing, and dealing with the realization that I have Aspergers. Not easy, but I wouldn't trade my experiences for the world.

I'm also rebooting, now just interested in travelling the world, basically saying ***** it, I'm going to stop being afraid of my life and just go for it.

This is what holds most autistics back I think. Being afraid of their lives in general. Splendid plan.