do you ever see an obviously autistic person and wonder if

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They are self aware of their diagnosis and of why they are the way they are?

I have some very high functioning friends I've referred to in other posts that are NT enough that their ASD isn't painfully obvious and took me quite a while to pick up on due to all of the very subtle AS traits, I'm not talking about them.

I mean when you see someone in public, possibly a complete stranger, who exhibits clearly obvious autistic behaviour and may be a bit lower functioning, especially socially, but not necessarily non-verbal "Classic Autism," do you ever find yourself wondering if they even know? And debating the pros and cons of asking?

This came to mind as there's this one obvious (to me now) Autie that I used to serve at a bar I worked at who I see around every once in a while on a bus or train. I always knew there was something.. "Different," about him in terms of having some sort of mental impairment - I just never knew what the autistic traits and criteria were specifically before so never realized what it was. Even before knowing they existed and that I have my own, I've recognized this guy has an obsessive special interest and a couple lesser ones, and I've always been friendly and indulged him in conversation about it even though I don't particularly care about the topic at all. It doesn't really bore me for a 5 or 10 mins here and there, just a little.. But I know I can tolerate it long enough to be polite and to put him in a good mood having had a chance to talk about it, so its all good. This is posibly a skill I've accidentally honed while bartending, now that I think of it. Since realizing it, I also find myself keeping a bit of an eye out around the train station at night when I do see him just in case there happens to be any idiots who might give him a hard time about anything - there never has been, but I see the potential for it.

Anyways, the last couple times I've seen him i've found myself wondering if he's self aware of this fact or not, or if he doesn't even realize he's as "diferebt," as he is, or if he just attributes the things he does realize to other health complications in the past? (Heart surgery at some point in his life.)

I don't know him well enough to know how hed react if I ever did ask, so I haven't, but I do wonder - especially since I now know the value of knowing myself. I've taken the opposite route w/ close friends and family, as mentioned in other posts, as I'm slowly making them aware of their own AS because I do know them well enough to be OK with however they react annnd because I want them to know for all the reasons it can better their lives. But for strangers/casual acquaintances, I think its a bit too rude/taboo of a topic to bring up.. But I still find myself wondering. Anyone else?

Oops, this should have been in the general forum.

I was in line at a department store here in Seattle. A woman was being checked out. Her 13/or 14 year old son was standing next to her. He was...interesting to watch. Slightly tiptoed, he was leaning forward (like Michael Jackson in that video) with his mouth wide open. His gaze was fixed on...nothing. He was just staring into space. I thought, "Wow, I'm sure this guy's autistic, but boy, he sure is extreme." When the mother finished she took his hand and walked him out of the store. I don't think a kid like that would be aware of his autism.

I would err on the side of caution, and probably not mention it personally. I can only think of one example of someone who was on the spectrum, but unaware of it (other than myself for many years). We never discussed it outright, but the realization came to him on his own I believe due to us hanging out together, and the fact his son was diagnosed as autistic.
I can think of...Six other people I can reasonably say were ASD. One kept to himself completely, one is a complete stranger I see time to time, one is a slight acquaintance if that, and the last is someone who I brought it up in a roundabout but probably ineffective way, but we did talk a little about our experiences. One is my oldest kid. The last would be my husband, who really has no interest in the matter.
The only reason I brought it up with someone I wasn't that close to was because due to communication difficulties, he thought I was purposely being rude or obtuse. That was more of an admission as explanation on my part, vs trying to pry. Other than the first, I have a feeling the rest are more functional than myself.

@Major x3 - if you brought the subject of autism up with your husband, he'd get up and leave the room?

No, but he's of the "suck it up" mindset and changes the subject. I get frustrated because I end up running interference between him and my son often.(He's been stepdad since my son was little).

moved from Love & Dating to General Autism Discussion

I do on occasion see people that make me think about if they are and if they know about it. I never would bring it up or ask because I don't want to.

How severe was this guy disability, since you can tell interacting with him that he had some sort of mental impairment?


Anyways, I usually can tell who has some sort of autism spectrum disorder right off the bat. It's just that going up to the individual and asking him if he or she is autistic wouldn't work unless I hang out with them or they have been in autism groups.

For the most part, yes, they are aware that they are different, and if they understand words, they usually understand "autism".

In fact I do not think that they are so different from those who can hide their autism when they want to. I have read about their experiences, and sometimes I have more in common with them than with people whose autism is more of an invisible disability. Sometimes they're just barely able to communicate; sometimes they communicate in sign or writing in a way that would leave even an NT amazed at their eloquence. And when I read what they write, I often find their experiences to be quite familiar.

I don't think it's just because my own autism is somewhat obvious. It's more like--you can't judge someone's experiences by how easy it is to tell that they're autistic.

Yes, and then I wonder if perhaps I'm like them and unaware of it. I mean, it's obvious people recognize me as "different" pretty quickly no matter how normally I try to behave, so whatever they are noticing is invisible to me.

Yeah. I was, for a while. I mean--when I was a kid, and then later on when I didn't realize just how different I was. But nobody told me. If they'd just told me, I would've understood. I think it's a dirty trick not to tell a person that they're autistic, because if they don't understand why they're different, they may do what I did and blame it on their "bad character".

I wouldn't point it out to him yet. Even if you are well-intended this kind of thing can offend people. If you can get to know him better somehow then you might want to eventually bring it up. Do you think you have a chance or you want to get to know him better? I wouldn't say you should befriend him just for the sake of telling him that you think he is autistic, but if he's nice enough and you might enjoy his friendship, maybe you can befriend him. Then you'd have another autistic buddy!

I have a "friend" that I think might be autistic. He's high-functioning, but he seems to have few friends and he's pretty badly depressed. Although I have known him for a very long time, I wouldn't bring it up to him because he has a very bad temper and I don't know how he would react to it. I don't want to hurt his feelings, either. But if I find any chance, I might.

I have a colleague who is quite off. He probably is not as disliked as I am at work (I have become quite confrontational particularly recently), but in terms of communication abilities, he's far worse than I. He doesn't seem to be able to recognize it when other people have no idea of what he is talking about. No one really seems to connect with him because of that. I'm not sure if he is autistic or not, but possibly so. Again I'm not close enough to point it out to him though he is one of the few at work whom I can comfortably talk with.

+1

Interesting this. Although I have been called weird on and off for years, I don't know how 'different' I am. I assume most people think I am just me, without a label (because of the late diagnosis no one knows). It rather bothers me that I have lived my life with people not wanting to maintain friendship but like others have put it down to being a 'bad character'. To add to this I have worked with people with severe autism and have wondered if they are aware.

I remember eating at a Pizza Hut with my family in Montana when I was ten and there was this man staring at me nodding his head and my paranoia mind told me he was poking fun at me and making fun of me because of what I got at school from other kids. So I thought this man was doing it too. I complained to my mother about it and she reassured me that man has problems and he probbaly doesn't notice me and I just happened to be in his direction he is looking at. She told me I could be a tree to him and he doesn't even see me and he is lucky his family is taking hm out to places because they love him so much. I did get out of my chair and walked away to see if he turns direction and he didn't. He kept staring that way. I decided my mom was right and he couldn't see me so I felt more comfortable.


Now today I wonder if that man may have been autistic and him nodding his head was repetitive behavior he was doing. Back then I didn't know the difference because I was a kid then and to me he seemed normal but my mother could tell he had something. I still remember what that guy looked like as if it were yesterday. but yet I don't remember what his family looked like, only him.


I don't know if he was high functioning or not or if he was aware of his condition. I was only ten and I only remember it from my child perspective. Now here I am an adult and I started to wonder not too long go if he may have been autistic. I know how they can stare off into space and zone everything out and not notice anything going on around them and they can do body movements for long periods of the time.

Last edited by League_Girl on 06 Apr 2013, 7:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.