Nearing 30 -- Asperger "traits" and aging?

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HI,

I will soon be of the age thirty this month, April.

Seeing as I have been recently diagnosed with AS, I have been reading more about it, from library books to online resources, such as this website, etc -- I am curious to know *if* a long-undiagnosed AS could have something to do with some of my AS "traits" appearing even more noticeable, as I mature, as time goes by? Or, rather -- it that an illusion of some kind, since I am more aware of these AS "traits" -- like a kind of hyperfocus on what is and isn't AS behavior? (YES, black & white thinking! haha)

Thank you for reading --

Christopher.

Hi Christopher

It was my AS traits getting worse over the years that had me questioning and researching what the heck was wrong with me. I had always been "different" but just thought of myself as b*tchy and overly sensitive and quirky. But as I had gotten older the things that made me so grumpy (sensory issues) were getting worse... and I began learning lots of stuff just wasn't "normal" such as certain words hurt when I heard them or felt "icky" or that I needed adjustment periods when introduced to CD's (albums or tapes as a kid)

Also that black and white thinking.. the huge need for sameness and routine.... I met my boyfriend who asked if I was autistic... eh?

But most definitely my life long issues appear to be magnifying as I age. Not fun.

I think you're just more aware of the traits.

I'll be 53 next month and just discovered my AS last summer. I did lots of research and learned about all kinds of traits. As time passed, I noticed that I seem to have more and more of them. I was beginning to think I was trying to "make" myself more Aspie. But I asked my mother -- who has studied along with me and wholeheartedly agrees with my self-diagnosis -- if I seemed more "weird" since I've found AS, and she told me "NO! Absolutely not. You've done all this stuff all your life." She even points out things that I hadn't noticed -- like that I flap my hands when I get overwhelmed, as if I'm trying to wave away whatever is bothering me. That's probably what's happening with you. Try asking someone who has known you for a long time -- parent, sibiling, childhood friend -- if you've always done X. I'll bet you that they'll say yes.

I am fascinated by the many stories of people who have concealed something integral about themselves only to reach a point in their lives whereby such a concealment is no longer sustainable.

I'm not just thinking about AS/HFA but also the lifes of cross dressers, people who were abused in childhood etc..........the coming out of the shadows and into the light.

When one 'comes out' in what ever from this transformation expresses itself, there is a human longing to affirm what was previously devalued and or even outright denied.

Often into this experience there is and exaggerated display of 'acting out' in an attempt to give air to what was unacceptable. Into this equation there is often an awkwardness and self-consciousness as the new personality seeks to assert itself........all this is as it should be.

Where things can get stuck, is when we cling to an identity and can't move on from holding and grasping to identification.

Many of us with AS/HFA are very prone to B/W & Disqualify thinking and keen to put ourselves and everyone else into a box. If makes us feel safe, yet when we do this we diminish ourselves & others.

I think what I see as a common trend in adults who have been recently diagnosed AS, is over self diagnosing anything and everything in relation to AS. Being way too analytical about every last tic and quirk.

It's almost like, "I've noticed that I sometimes breath through my nose and other times through my mouth! Is that an Aspergers trait?!"

I think as time has progressed I've overcome many things. I've polished my act better. I'm not as bothered by things as I used to be, because I'm too old to worry about certain things anymore. On the other hand, I've become a lot more set in my ways. So, it goes both ways. Some things get better as you age, some things get worse. Which I think is pretty much true of everyone AS and NT alike.

20 years from now you'll have it figured out a lot better