Going through puberty with ASD

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33 year old here, just recently self diagnosed and waiting for my appointment with a professional to get a diagnosis. Spoke to my mum recently about things for the first time and said I think I may have ASD. She wasn't hugely surprised (which surprised me) and we talked it over and I wanted her opinion on my behavior.

The main things that interested me is that as a child she says I was not all that 'different' and it was really around the age of puberty that my behavior started to become 'less than normal'. When young she said I was very early to read and write, loved learning and was always top of the class for everything. I seemed popular enough (though I have explained how I spent my years before adulthood with large groups of friends yet none of them were ever really my friends, I was never close to them, I was just on the periphery of things) but she said it was clear I was quite a shy and anxious person.

She then went on to say that as I reached the age of puberty she felt like she 'lost me for a few years' where I decided to shut myself away from everything and everyone and spent most of my time on my own. I also did some silly things, my school work suffered, I messed up my exams, took drugs, had eating disorders etc and it was only in my early twenties that she said she felt she could have conversations with me again as by that time my life was more settled - I had a gf, a job etc.

Just wondered what other people's experiences of this are. Did your ASD become more obvious at that age, did it make no difference, was it only discovered at that age through changes in behavior?

I know it certainly became a lot worse for me when I hit puberty. I had been diagnosed autistic at age 7 and placed in special classrooms because of it. But at around 13 things changed for the worse. Much more reclusive, somber, withdrawn, moody, angry, disobedient, truant etc. I think a lot of parents will say they lost their boy once he hit 13 or so. So I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise when this happens to an aspie kid.

I did awful in school. Was so lost and scared all the time and just could not focus with all the stimuli around. They flunked me in second grade for being "socially immature" and put me in special ed because I could not keep up in class. I did not learn to read until third grade and my mother had to teach me. Also did not learn to write until third grade and had "mirror writing" where I saw everything backwards so I would start at the right side of the page and write every letter backwards towards the left of the page. I was obsessed with drawing and also with that non hardening clay. Setting up my toys for a game was more important that playing and also I was always the "baby" in the game or left out of games not requiring a "flunkie" of some sort. I was incredible gullible and could be talked into stupid things like cutting off my own eye lashes or picking up bugs (which actually fascinated me until my sister had me pick up a "cow killer" wasp...) ... Doing art projects I could cut perfectly but it took me forever and all the kids would be done and I would still be four inches into cutting my first paper (so my mom tells me)

I also hated the shower starting at an early age but did not mind baths too much. I never slept before 3 am beginning as far back as my memory goes. I used to bite myself fascinated that it did not hurt until it began to bled. i also pulled out my hair for the same reason. The doctor loved me because "You are the only kid who loves getting shots" and I used to press my eyes to watch the spots drift by. I also liked watching the "wiggles" float across my eyes. I have always been sound sensitive and "have ears like a dog" as my siblings always said... I used to mimic sounds to not be scared of them. I also get startled too easy and people laugh a lot because of that. I tend to make a lot of funny faces when trying to do things I find difficult and look "flat and bored" when I am most interested and forget to be at attention.

I have always been clumsy - I have walked into more glass doors than I can count... also walls and door frames. I miss the steps and get pretty petrified of heights. Food textures have been a nightmare since I was a baby and smells too. I have been prone to binge eat since about 7 years old - hunger never seems to shut off. I have more medicine allergies than I can count as well as food allergies/sensitivities since a young age. Also intestinal issues (more than half my colon removed at age 32) my entire life.

That''s most of me in a nutshell... I never had meltdowns until after puberty though. I wish those never started....

Much of this applys to me although I was never truant, I think also to meny NT kids as well. Much of my reclusiveness was becouse the other kids pulled away from me as much is I did from them. My mom does point out some highlights of parenting me, no drugs, alcohol, parties, romantic relationships etc. I also never had that self centred i'm the best ever attitude the other kids had(instaid I was depressed and felt like a nobody). In meny ways did not demand more independance and stayed largly the same kid I always had been, into the same things just with a differerent body and some odd and confusing thoughts, although I always had that last issue. My sensory issues got worse, killing my career path that had been nicely laid out. I'm just glad I don't have to go the school anymore, those years were hard with all those weird normal kids.

I feel nothing but heartache knowing what I put my parents through from the ages of 12 to 15. If I could wipe those years away I would do it without hesitation. Puberty was when the bullying got REALLY out of hand and when I went from shy to a virtual hermit. My AS behavior was always there but 12 is usually the age where the 'get out of jail free' cards expire and people no longer tolerate your quirks.

Hello Biscuitman, yes, similar experience for me too.

Things are complicated though. We moved house, not far but enough, at the same time as I went from a small town middle school to a large comprehensive. I was in a different school house to the guys I grew up with, I have not been able to maintain friendships ever since.

I became very rebellious, got in lots of trouble, truanting and left with very poor grades. I continued to run off the rails and relationships with my family have never recovered.