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alakazaam
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23 Apr 2013, 9:32 am

I am able to understand most social cues and facial expressions that people display. I just have a problem understanding what I should be doing in certain social situations. I am curious if there is anybody on this wrong planet that understands most social cues like me.



MathGirl
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23 Apr 2013, 9:35 am

Sometimes, but rarely. Usually I'm too focused on something else to even notice these things.


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alakazaam
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23 Apr 2013, 9:37 am

I get like that too. I've been told many times that I look zoned out. My mind is definitely zoned out and I quiet even bothering showing my full attention in social situations.



Jainz
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23 Apr 2013, 9:38 am

Sort of, but it definitely doesn't come naturally. Everything I recognise, I know through prior experience, and I still have trouble deciding how to react. It seems to vary between people.



eric76
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23 Apr 2013, 10:04 am

What I hate it is when you are trying to participate in a conversation but everyone is ignoring you completely.



redrobin62
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23 Apr 2013, 2:09 pm

I get most, but not all, of the signs. Still a little awkward in regards to those.



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23 Apr 2013, 2:20 pm

I can sometimes understand social cues if I don't pay attention to the words people are saying.

I can also detect anger and annoyance unusually well; this was a survival skill in childhood.

So, generally, yeah, I have some ability in that area--my autism doesn't mean total lack of ability. It's just rather impaired. I think of it as kind of like the way you can be functionally blind, but still be able to detect bright light or really big objects.

Oh, and I can read cats' social cues about as well as NTs seem to read each others'. I don't know this for sure because cats don't use words and are unable to give me a full evaluation of how well I can understand what they are telling me, but I can predict the immediate behavior of small domestic cats based on their body language, and even transfer that to some of the big cats. Small wildcats and ferals are like listening to someone with an accent; some of the bigger cats, especially lions, are more like puzzling out Latin or Spanish. Oddly enough, cougars seem nearly identical to the small domestic cats I am most used to. But I have only seen videos, and a few brief glimpses at zoos.

I wish I knew how well I really do pick up on cats' social signals. Do I do it as well as a cat-loving NT? As well as a fellow cat, even? Can I really transfer what I know about small cats to big cats, or am I misapplying small-cat talk entirely?

By the way--this does not necessarily mean that all cats immediately like me. I can be polite and avoid startling or infuriating them, but just being able to understand them doesn't mean friendship is inevitable. With some cats, it's more like, "Ehh, you're not going to eat me, and I won't eat you, so let's coexist." I bet with the big cats, some of them would see me as prey just because I'm small and clumsy, and I don't think I could convince them otherwise before they made a meal of me! But I'd really like to meet one up close anyhow. Safely, of course.


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23 Apr 2013, 3:00 pm

Callista wrote:
Oh, and I can read cats' social cues about as well as NTs seem to read each others'. I don't know this for sure because cats don't use words and are unable to give me a full evaluation of how well I can understand what they are telling me, but I can predict the immediate behavior of small domestic cats based on their body language, and even transfer that to some of the big cats. Small wildcats and ferals are like listening to someone with an accent; some of the bigger cats, especially lions, are more like puzzling out Latin or Spanish. Oddly enough, cougars seem nearly identical to the small domestic cats I am most used to. But I have only seen videos, and a few brief glimpses at zoos.


This could be because you're used to learn social cues in a rational way, instead of coming with them 'by default'. Social cues in animals are indeed simpler than in humans, so if you can learn how to interpret humans, it's much more likely that you can learn how to interpret cats.

NTs know how social cues work. This is a instinctive stuff: they don't need to learn it. Practice makes mastery, and who is used to learn, is more likely a good learner.


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23 Apr 2013, 4:53 pm

I can't tell if someone is jesting or if they want me to say something. People need to say they are not being serious and that they want me to participate in conversation. Why can't they get this?



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23 Apr 2013, 8:53 pm

I am usually unaware of social cues unless someone verbalizes that they have occurred. However, I can read cats. :D


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btbnnyr
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23 Apr 2013, 9:01 pm

I can only read my catatar Smuggy, because she is always smug.


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23 Apr 2013, 9:47 pm

I don't know. And if you don't know, how do you know if you don't know? You don't know what you missed, or you didn't miss it.



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23 Apr 2013, 9:59 pm

Sometimes I believe that I can understand social cues, but still I can take what is said literally so this can become an issue when I then seem to have misunderstood the person. For example, the person was suggesting that perhaps a, b and c be done and it was merely an idea. I then take it as literal and run with it and wham, no that was not ok.


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Scia
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23 Apr 2013, 10:51 pm

I guess somewhat, though I tend to be pretty slow at it. If you include basic things like 'someone extending a hand to shake your hand' then yes, though I think largely because I have been taught them. And yes, I find my cats easier to read than people. X3



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23 Apr 2013, 11:09 pm

They have to be overt social clues in order for me to read them. I'm oblivious to the subtle stuff. I think some of it has to do with not wanting lock onto a person enough to take all that into account. I tend to keep my distance in that regard and sort of put up an opaque wall between me and them. A lot of the time I realize certain social clues that were directed at me in hindsight.