physical fights, do you prefer to ditch the blah ?

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It happens right, but NT's seem to want to pre-start a physical fight with a lot of blah, blah...

the blah, blah is usually about them trying to get you to backoff and submit to some unreasonable demand, based on some persona. i.e. how often do you get that blah, blah when there isn't a crowd about ? as its a lot of constructed BS and getting sombody to backdown over constructed BS is of no interest to me. I think why bother . from this position there is no winning, just how long you have to stand listening to rubbish.. which is tiring. it seems logical to preserve your energy to go straight in and get the fight over, and hopefully shut them up. yes you can lose your teeth get injured etc,. It used to be I would rather get into something physical and risk losing than listen to rubbish (and lose for sure).

Later when I looked at an NT get into that type of confrontation with another NT, they can resolve it with all the blah and not break each others teeth.. its quite funny to watch it... I can see the advantage,

maybe what aspies really need isnt self defence skills but classes on how to shout rubbish at each other. Laterly i have tried the strategy of just ranting random crap when somebody starts on me. I thought it would not work, but its surprisingly effective. A lot of fights are really about people trying to get you to say something with some kind of volume...anything basically...so try it just say the first random crap that comes into your brain as loud as possible. Not only is it fun, but it might prevent you losing your front teeth.

but still you have to learn how to knock somebody out first.. as spouting random blah also ups the risk of it going physical....

It took me a long time to learn that all that posturing doesn't always mean that they really want to fight and that it might be like an animal puffing themself up to look scarier.

I still can't do that myself because I don't fight and won't fake like I'd want to because I don't want to.

Yeah, I see cats fight that way, too. Long before they ever set a claw on each other, they hiss and spit and puff up their fur, circle each other... Some fights are entirely prevented because one cat backs down before any harm is done. That is a very adaptive trait because cat fights can be deadly. Their claws and teeth can kill, if they really get into it; and even a survivor could die of infection later on.

Humans do that too. I think it's probably something meant to prevent fights because one person intimidates the other into backing down. I think it works best if the person backing down can still save face, because that makes backing down into less of a knock down the social totem pole.

I don't know that we could learn to make other people back down, but it might be possible to learn how to leave them openings for it, how to make it possible for them not to have to fight in some way.

I know that sometimes you have to fight, because they are doing something you can't let them do (like if they want to hurt your friend or a little kid or something and they won't listen to you when you tell them not to do it). But other times it could just be NTs trying to arrange themselves in a pecking order, and if we could figure out how that worked, maybe we could learn how not to need to fight in the first place.

In my experience it's the yelling that leads up to the fight most times. The argument starts, somebody says something that's just over the line and that's when it starts. You can walk away from a yelling argument up to a point. Once it passes that point though you can't. Not without be thought of as weak.

If someone is planning on whipping your ass then there isn't much yelling. They will call you out and then BAMMO!

If the OP wants to skip the yelling he needs to just step up to them and say "Do something then". That usually works.

I hate any sort of confrontations, I seem to be very good at splitting up fights and calming them down though. The best way is just not react when someone starts on you. Or if your friend starts then lead him away and tell them not to react.

Most of it is alpha male sorta thing, but they look ridiculous when you don't react and walk away! I find its the crowd who are the catalysts in the fight as they egg it on.

This is something I've never understood.
Why talking if you must fight? It's just pointless.

I remember that most fist fights I've been in were caused by the fact that the other person had threatened me and I had started laughing, because threats just make me laugh.

I remember that once when I was in middle school some classmates threatened to beat me up, and I started laughing and laughing and I asked them why they couldn't do that at the moment.
They started yelling at me and insulting me but did nothing in the end, just causing me to laugh harder.

I just knock them on their ass if I feel like they are they trying to make a scene and look cool in front of their friends.

I have a friend who actually enjoys fighting. He's too old for it now, but he was a boxer and a street fighter. He fought with people who also liked fighting though - so they all got something out it I guess. I've never been in a fight and I don't expect ever to be; or I hope not. I don't like fighting.

My experience is confrontations either arise out of nowhere or go on to a lot of blah.. I rarely had much in between types... maybe those quick blah then fight scenarios are for those who show they are willing to engage in a dialogue first. i.e. I play ice-hockey or did which is unusual for AS, so in there, there is lots of those "you want to go", but not in real life i find. Maybe its a bar thing. I dont go to bars for sensory reasons.

Often I got whacked from nowhere because it was observed I was not paying attention or putting out good acting in response to some generic statement which left me too unstimulated to reply. So my solution was to pay attention a lot more, which has done the trick. there are a massive amount of a**holes out there just ready to hit people because they are in a world of their own.

but those blah, blah ones.. what a waste of time to have to listen to a degenerate rants, so i used to go straight for knockout. But lately I started ranting crap the kind which would make me laugh to myself. i.e. try just shouting nonsense.

Antagonist "you're a this and that"
Me "thats right, so what are linear regressions ?, big f*****g deal thats what i say.."
Antagonist "you trying to be cheeky"
Me shouting louder "when I was trying to f**k my t-shirt I said f**k you a**hole !"

Try it just keep increasing the volume and try to keep it random but only what gives you a hoot yourself.. the fun will help you shout louder.. which is all it is really about, find a way to enjoy confrontation. Like the ability to keep barking. Never engage what in the material the other person puts forward. this method appears to cause confusion. I dont know why this works. Maybe they cant tell if you are backing down, completely insane or whatever.

its adrenaline buzz. you would think fighters dont care what information is in their heads, due to putting it at risk.. but strangely they care far too much about the little that is left. there is also some kind of narc ego defence about inferiority. Mostly they want others who are going to stimulate their level of ability.

      OMGROFLMAO that's awesome!


      OMG this one too! ROFL!

I've learned something today! thankyou! =)

physical fighting is for children and criminals.

the biggest lesson i learned about getting whacked for no reason out the blue, i think applies to aspie bullying in general. its not just about being different.. it also about keeping social attention mechanisms very active. i.e you can be as eccentric as you like I find, and have very few random attack problems now long as I pay extra attention to the direction of other peoples gaze and whether they want you to track their gaze. I even go OTT just to try my theory. i.e. Pretend you have not noticed somebodies attention on you with your peripheral vision.. then do a really sharp head swivel or attention fix.. then rapidly disengage. As if you were was a lot going on, and you have other stuff to get on with. now that predator will quickly look away. They thought you were not aware, and got a surprise.


I think this is something instinctive in the lower sensory tracking we have a problem with, that triggers a primal instinct in each others with mammilian brains. Something to do with basic predator-prey tracking. A predator wants to attack when it thinks something else has not noticed it being watched. Even animals or children can tell if an aspies attention is off and start playing up on you.

Well I'm glad you are so far above everyone else, but sometimes you are in a situation where it's your only choice. Of course it should be avoided if possible, nobody likes to get hit. But sometimes you just can't avoid it. So what you gonna do when somebody hits you? Stand there and take it?

I've never fought. I'm weak and I don't know how. If someone hit me all I could do is try to get away and call the police or if it's in public someone else calls the police.

I never had anyone try to physically attack me since I've been out of school.