Do either of your parents try to pretend you're not autistic

Post Reply New Topic

My father deliberately ignores my Aspie condition, when I was diagnosed at the age of 12 both my parents flicked through one Aspergers book and never really attempted to learn anything else about the condition ever again making it a very difficult living environment. Last year after I had an autistic fit because they fail to respect my personal boundaries I attempted to explain what AS fits are and my fathers response was
" From what I know about autism (which is nothing) it is this thing that just goes away when you get older. " Which isn't true unless the person with the condition wishes to change which I don't

Anyway I'll stop babbling on here, do any of you find yourself in a similar situation where a parent or parents don't respect your autistic characteristics?

My parents admit I have a diagnosis called Asperger's and deny it has anything to do with autism.

My mom tells me that I have AS as much as my (very NT) brother. She has also said she thinks I have Oppositional Defiant Disorder instead of Asperger's.

My parents bought Tony Attwood's Guide To Asperger's Syndrome after my previous therapist "highly suggested" that I have it. I'm the only one in my household who read it. Granted, though, my parents do not read much in the first place.

After eighteen years of dealing with me, my father still cannot understand why I dash around the house, do not socialize "enough," or am hypersensitive. They are under the impression, however, that since I do occasionally eye contact, drive, and am an honors student in regular education, that I either do not have "it" or that "it" is not severe enough to matter (the latter of which may actually be true).

I can't speak for your parents, but my parents were raised in an era and culture (The South, 50's and 60's) in which any issue that did not confine one to a bed or wheelchair should be "gotten over," that children should "grow up and toughen up," and that any negative emotion can be overcome with enough willpower.

To their credit, though, they do try to compromise on what they do understand: they make allowances for the fact that I got "worn out" easily, that I am clumsiness, and that I cannot take intense emotions for an extended period of time (well, they're still working on the last one, but they're trying).

I do hope that things improve for your environment. It may help if they were to watch a (credible and accurate!) documentary on autism or Asperger's--many people prefer watching to reading. My Autism And Me from BBC, though not the most information filled, is a "cute" place to start, if your parents are interested in "cute" things (the narrator is a 13 year old British Aspie Girl). There's also a movie on Temple Grandin (titled, simply, Temple Grandin). I've never seen it, but the preview I saw for it looked amazing.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Mine say I am not autistic. But they have admitted AS and autism. Sometimes my mom will say I don't have AS either and I am Beth. They treat my traits like my personality traits and say it's part of who I am or part of Beth.

My father (when he was alive) refused to acknowledge that autism exists. Any time I tried to bring it up with him, he would change the subject. I don't think he was particularly interested in learning about it.

This is a difficult question to answer for me. This is not an issue for my mother, but my father.... i suppose it would be safe to answer perhaps. In the times I have seen him since my diagnosis, he didn't bring up the subject or ask any questions about it. I don't know if he is ignoring it or simply uncomfortable with the subject. He lives in a different city so our face to face meetings are few and far between.

It doesn't really matter. Our relationship is tenuous anyway.

Also, my mother was in denial for a long time (ever since childhood) but she admitted that I was autistic when I told her I thought I was.

Mom accpets really well, My dad and step mom I think pretend i'm not, my dad just says I have "issues" and have never heard him use the words autism or aspergers other then once when he was very upset with me claiming I was hiding behind it eventhough I have never used my diagnosis as a defence or cover. He admits some symptoms, viewing them more like odd personallity traits however fails to see the whole picture for what it is and therefore our relationship is best when I keep a little distance as we can clash pretty bad as he never understands where I come from or why I do things, have strange anxietys over simple things etc. I think alot of the issue is his up bringing and the stupidly extreme pressure from his family to have perfect cookie cutter children and admiting to having an autistic child is too much for him to handle right now, having to admit he had a less then perfect child in someone elses eyes.

My dad denies it but my mum accepts it and it has been that way since I was diagnosed.

Oh god yes

So, we were in my mum's bedroom (me, my two younger brothers aged 14, and my mum). She was talking about what we did as kids. And then I was like "I liked collecting, organising, arranging and lining my toys". And she responded "Yes.. you certainly did do that. You know, (iliketrees) is probably on the autistic spectrum. That's what autistic kids do". Apparently, I started these behaviours aged 2 and have been doing it since. I was a quiet baby before that. Very quiet, from what she's said.

And so, once I'd practised conversation in my head, I went back and asked her why I'd never been diagnosed with anything. She laughs at me and goes "You're too high functioning to be autistic". She's a 60s kid and that's probably why she doesn't understand that you can be high functioning and autistic. It wasn't really understood in the 90s when I was born, either, I guess. So while I was quiet and pre-school in the 90s, nobody really thought much, and my mum was just like "she's just shy".

I'm not really sure how I convince her, but one day, someone will notice. The more I've read up on high functioning forms of autism, the more I can see it fits me. Everything suggests it. My online friend even asked me randomly if I've ever thought I'm autistic, and says I probably am. But as far as my mum's concerned, I'm just weird. She says my brain is very different, but refuses to believe I could be autistic.. I have no idea what to do