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Uly
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21 May 2013, 3:40 pm

Hi, I'm not sure if this is in the right place as I have only just signed up for this site, if so I apologise.

I have recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and not long afterwards discovered I was pregnant. (I am now twelve weeks gone). On top of all this my ex, the father of the child, has been mentally abusing me and is now threatening me with Social Services. This concerns me because as a mother with a mental health problem it could mean I could lose my child to the father. I have no idea what my rights are, I cannot find anywhere that will explain them to me either. ordinarily I understand that the courts will side with the mother however because of my recent diagnosis I can see that they may decide otherwise. I would like to know if there is anyone else out there with similar issues, or if Aspergers really will make me a bad parent. I'm confused and scared because the father suffers from PTSD and has acted verbally aggressive towards me, including getting his friends to send me horrifically abusive messages over social networking sites. If there is anyone who can offer any advice at all I would be eternally grateful.

Thank you in advance.



1401b
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21 May 2013, 4:20 pm

1. dump the father; get a restraining order; never ever, ever, speak, text or otherwise communicate with him again -no matter what. (plus it'll drive him nutzer.)
2. act strong and normal whenever anyone is looking
3. pretend he is just "acting out of silly spite", which he probably is.
4. keep acting like a normal responsible mother that was "merely silly enough to think HE was a good guy deep down"...

DON'T let them see you sweat, except a lil exasperation at the patheticness of this "boy" and his drama reports.

It's a little bit hard to be a bad Mom before a baby is born, I'd think.


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SteelBlu
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Joined: 15 May 2013
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21 May 2013, 4:31 pm

Document, document, document! You may be able to get free legal aid, contact your local human services to request this.
Here is the difference between you and your ex-- YOU are looking into bettering yourself, receiving support, getting diagnosis, coping, and becoming a better person. HE is the one who is acting terrible and being abusive, harassing. DOCUMENT and keep every single harassing message. (Take screen shots, save voice mails, etc.) On your end, keep up with mental health appointments. Go to therapy, doctors, anything you can, and document this, so that you can prove that you are a healthy person, who wants to be a good and responsible parent. That, compared to his abusive contact, will show that you are the healthy one. Have no more contact with him--this may show to courts that you think he is a "safe person". If there is any abuse that you can pursue legally, do so, to document it if nothing else. But, more than anything, look into that free/low cost legal aid. They'll have the best and most pertinent advice for your specific situation.

I will tell you that, as a parent of two little girls, who most likely has Aspergers herself, you can most certainly be a good, loving, and caring parent with Aspergers. I was terrified to become a mother, but now I can't imagine living life any other way.


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Your AQ Test Score is: 41 EQ: 17
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Wandering_Stranger
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21 May 2013, 5:47 pm

Having Aspergers alone won't mean they'll take your child away from you.

Is this something you can discuss with your midwife / anyone else involved in your pregnancy?