How to talk to dad about him being on the spectrum?

Post Reply New Topic

I suspect my dad has it too. How do I bring it up with him? He is very stubborn but he exhibits all the symptoms?

Last edited by azaam on 22 May 2013, 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Are you a troll?

Thats like asking " is it possilbe for water to be wet?".

Almost all autistic children ARE born from pairs of NT parents.

Very few of any kind of children are born to autistic parents because autistic people rarely become parents.

They dont know why autistics are ever born that way.

But genes probably have something to do with it. But its obviously not necessary to be autistic to have autistic children- nor is it certain that the few autistics who do become parents will have autistic children.

I've never heard anything to suggest it takes an autistic parent to produce an autistic child. It's believed to be hereditary, but that doesn't mean one or more parents of the kid are autistic. They may simply carry genes that can lead to autism.

I only ask because I hear a lot of parents of a autistic child suspect they have it too. I suspect that my dad may have it so I am just asking. THAT DOEST MAKE A TROLL

I'm on the Spectrum, and my mom is even more Aspie than I am. And looking back on my grandmother (mother's side), she almost certainly was on the Spectrum.

In talking with your dad, you generally want to take it in medium steps and you want to focus on yourself.

For example, the first conversation, maybe just the interesting idea that they think autism is a spectrum extending all the way to 'normal,' average, typical. And then maybe the idea that the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum explains many of both the good and bad aspects of your life. And that is probably plenty for a first conversation. In fact, anything over 15 minutes is probably counterproductive, and even 15 minutes may be pushing it.

*No such thing as 'normal' anyway and how boring the world would be if there was!

Dr. Hans Asperger in his original description of the disorder remarked how some parents, especially the fathers, displayed some of the same personality characteristics of their child. Research also shows that 46% of first-degree relatives of a child with Asperger's, particularly males, also display similar profiles (Volkmar, Klin & Pauls 1998). It's hard to deny a strong genetic link.

Yes, autistic people do have children because I have children. My son is severely autistic and non-verbal. My father has many of the same characteristics as I do, although to a lesser degree.

I think you should be direct with your father and tell him you suspect he's on the spectrum. I told my father directly that I suspect he's on the spectrum and explained why. He acknowledged the similarities but didn't say much else. I've been trying to get him to take some of the online tests but so far have been unsuccessful.

I am certain that my father has it and that his mother had it as well.

My grandmother used to hide in the house most the time. When she did go out she usually had a terrible time trying to interact with others. My NT mother still relates how my grandmother kept calling my female cousin an "it" at a family get together when we were babies. Apparently, people don't like you calling their kid an "it", who knew... LOL

When I figured out I had Aspergers and told my parents, I immediately told my father I think he has it too. He didn't like that at all and ever since brings it up to me now and again in a mocking way. "Oh that must be that disease making me do that? What's it called?" He's an anti-social jerk anyway so I don't know why I bothered to share that information with him.
Anytime they have guests over he avoids socializing with them and will say something rude like "I'm glad that's over" no sooner than they walk out the door. I pointed out to him that they can probably hear him through the door and he said he didn't care.

I also tried to tell my ex that I thought he had it and he rejected that outright. Probably because I suggested it, but he's more obviously Aspie than me. I'm not sure anyone takes the suggestion that they may be on the spectrum very well.

I agree with Aardvark. Probably the best way to get someone to consider the possibility that they have it is to tell them about you having it and what characteristics you have as a result. Maybe they'll think to themselves "Hey I do that too!" and be more contemplative of it rather than dismiss it quickly. It was a conversation with a friend who asked me if my ex might have Aspergers that got me considering it myself. I had never heard of it and it was much easier to identify it in my ex at first. It took me over a year after that to start realizing I had it too.

Responding to the OT about autistic people not having children, I have a child also so I think that theory isn't vey valid.

You might even say to your dad, 'And it's kind of a prestige diagnosis.'

For example, some people have speculated whether Steve Jobs was on the spectrum, and in a favorable way, liking Steve Jobs. And this is not here on WP. This is out in the world. Now personally, I don't really think he was on the spectrum. But . . . the fact that some people think he was, actually helps us.

And we can continue the conversation in a positive way, maybe something like, 'Steve Jobs was a unique, creative person who marched to his own drummer. Maybe he was on the spectrum and maybe he wasn't, and either way is perfectly okay.' Pretty good, uh?