Family togetherness and tech pursuits

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It's a saturday afternoon on a rainy cold day and a strong wind is blowing outside.

In the living room, you can find an 11 year old boy at a small desk playing Minecraft on a computer he is smiling as he lays down another part of the huge structure he is creating as a part of a multiplayer PvP map.
About six feet away, a girl is sitting watching Anime on an iPad. She is wearing headphones because she knows her repeated listening to the same two or three songs over and over again will irritate others. She has a huge smile as she sways to the music.
At the other end of the room sits their father, writing python scripts on his laptop. He is smiling as the new function he wrote executes correctly the first time.

Their NT mom comes into the room to watch television and looks around shakes her head disapprovingly. "Is this family togetherness?" she asks.

"Yes," says the dad.

"Can't you do something together?" asks the mom.

"We are doing something together, says the dad. He's doing Minecraft together with us. She's listening to Japanese pop from anime together with us. I am writing code together with them. This is nice."

"Why don't you all watch a movie together?" asks the mom.

"Because we are happy doing our different things, together," says the dad.

"Well, this just seems sad and you all seem addicted. I am going to watch the playoff game," declares the mom.

I am the dad. Am I wrong to think everything is OK with the initial picture? Is my NT wife right that we should be doing the same thing at the same time or it't not together?
I thought it was great. What do you think?

This is purrrfurrrtly OK. This is what me and my parents do at home. My ideal socialization in fact, doing different things quietly in same place together. My NT mother likes it too.

I know what the underlying questions are, but I have nothing to add on that side.

I fail to see the difference between 3 members of a family,in the same room, playing different games/music, and 3 members of the same family, in the same room, watching a movie.

Hey, at least they're not yelling and trying to rip out each others' throats.

it's important to have "face-to-face" time with kids, about an hour per kid per day - talking to them, reading to them, tossing a ball with them, playing a board game or charades, etc.. kids who get this kind of attention are more likely to be happy and well-adjusted.

I agree with the previous poster that all watching a TV program is no better than the situation the OP describes.

Watching TV is an electronic activity also and since it does not involve a group effort or any sharing of ideas or conversation, it does not qualify as a group activity. A conversation about the show watched together, afterward, would, though. But no one does that (at least not offline.)

Nothing in itself wrong with the scenario but a family does bond through shared activity, not with TV though. At least going to a cinema is more of an outing.

If everyone likes electronics and staying home, try a group Wii game maybe.

Python? Cool. I worked as a Python programmer for a few years. One of my favorite languages.

At least they're all in the same room; when my family does individual electronic stuff, we usually buggar off to opposite ends of the house and don't see each other all day. I rather like it actually, not because I don't love my family, but because I enjoy the complete solitude. I shouldn't worry about it.

Your wife was lonely and seeking the human attentions of her family. It made her feel shut out to see you all so self-sufficiently happy.

That makes so much sense!

I can't believe I didn't get that. I just went down the rabbit hole of details about what was said and missed the whole situation. Thanks!

Since 75% of the family enjoys playing minecraft together, we will have to get her an account so she can join us in the virtual world. And set up our lan parties so we are all siting in one area in close proximity, to create that togetherness she needs.

We do other things together outside and inside, but she often talks about too much screen time. Which makes no sense to me as the screen time is partly playing, partly reading news, partly reading books, partly writing code, partly drawing, partly editing photographs, etc.