Have you encountered malicious gossip?

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Have you ever been a victim of malicious gossip?
Yes, Frequently 28%  28%  [ 5 ]
Yes, Occasionally 44%  44%  [ 8 ]
Can't tell 22%  22%  [ 4 ]
Probably Not 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
Other 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 18

Dear_one
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18 Feb 2019, 9:29 am

I had an offer of accommodation withdrawn after the new landlady talked to the old one, who was doing an illegal eviction. I found a new community, but people I start to make friends with suddenly "turn off." In my work as a handyman, I found that sometimes, friends of customers would be eager to provide my next job, but other times, I couldn't get any consideration.
Millionaires pay to have their image managed, but for most people, it is just one's reputation, and people are free to grind their own axe by dinging it. One day, I was with an acquaintance when a stranger walked by. I was told that he was looking for opportunities to steal. I was able to say that no, he was working at the Credit Union, and probably interested in new sights. I'm sure that since Aspies react oddly, we get all sorts of negative projections tacked onto what everyone hears about us, but few tell us. Do you have good examples of this at work?



magz
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18 Feb 2019, 9:34 am

I get really upset if someone repeats unconfirmed malicious stuff about other people in my presence.
I hate it but people seem to do it all the time.


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Fnord
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18 Feb 2019, 9:36 am

Have you ever been a victim of malicious gossip?

[X] Yes, Frequently


Especially when I receive any type of praise or expression of gratitude from the higher-ups. The gossip is always along the lines of ... "He cheated on the test" ... "He bought the election" ... "He stole the idea" ... and just about every variation thereof.

It must really suck to be a loser.



kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2019, 9:44 am

In the past, more often than at present.



Dear_one
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18 Feb 2019, 10:12 am

I don't do mainstream social media. Can rumours be traced back on it? What are one's chances of even getting copies of the damage? Does truth have a chance, or is it mostly mob rule?



littlebee
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18 Feb 2019, 12:25 pm

"I don't do mainstream social media. Can rumours be traced back on it? What are one's chances of even getting copies of the damage? Does truth have a chance, or is it mostly mob rule?"

In the legal system it might, but in terms of slander, a lot of times when the damage is done, then that's it; you have to bite the bullet, and that is not easy. This said, if something is written on the internet about you that is not true, there may be a way to get it removed, but if a person has done business with you and had a bad experience, then I think they have a legal right to write about the specifics, such as on Yelp, but you would have to research that. Am not sure. Once you have a bad review on Yelp, which I suppose anyone could make up, then that could affect your business and would be hard to trace.

I do not know what you think of the concept of karma, which does not really mean that any human being deserves bad treatment, but can be a helpful way to put difficult and sometimes very painful experience into a more functional context where a person might have a better chance of thinking in a way that would help work this kind of very difficult experience through.

I experienced an instance of outright slander many years ago that practically destroyed my life. I tried to process it from the perspective of karma, and that was very helpful to me. To anyone who is experiencing a lot of this, not to imply you are at fault or that to slander is in any way excusable, but it is always a good idea to look at ones own behavior with an impartial eye, kind of fine comb through it to see if anything you are doing could in some way be eliciting certain kinds of negative responses.

To the person who wrote that they get very upset when people say repeat unconfirmed malicious stuff about other people in his presence. Yes, to say that kind of stuff is a form of what some call "wrong speech." Do not participate in it and from your example others will learn. Actally, though, you are kind of unique, as most people do not mind so much when someone says something false about someone else, but when it happens to themselves that is a different story.



livingwithautism
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18 Feb 2019, 5:07 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In the past, more often than at present.


I hope so although I’m pretty paranoid so I can’t be certain.



Dear_one
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18 Feb 2019, 10:42 pm

I do believe in Karma, but it only makes sense with reincarnation if we expect it to balance. It was excised from Christian teachings in 503 AD, to make people try harder in their "only" life. Such faith has helped me endure a lot. It may explain why there is such variation in how troubles have affected me - I only have limited vulnerabilities, but they are severe. However, I think that people are also starting new fights at a considerable clip.

What I'm interested in here is the problem of image control for people who can't hire brand managers. I'm trying to get a sense of how others see me, and I suspect that it has a lot more to do with points of style than basic honesty and capability.



nick007
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25 Feb 2019, 3:15 pm

I've been a victim of that more than a few times at skewl but not at work. One of the 1s I got a lot was that I was gay. I think this song is relevant here :arrow:


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