Stepping in - need advice

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I'm not really sure where to begin but let me apologize in advance if I ramble or I guess if my position seems silly.

I'm currently 28 and in nursing school (clinicals next year) however I have never felt more uncertain than what I do now. Awhile back I met an amazing man who has a three year old son with autism. His own mother abandoned them early on, to not get into horrid details I'll sum it up to say that she couldn't deal with her son's diagnosis. The father is a breath away from sole custody mostly because when she does take him (a couple days out of the week) she pays no attention to him and he ends up being injured more often than not. Jacob has no maternal figure in his life and it absolutely breaks my heart and when his father wanted me to fill that void I was so happy but terrified at the same time. There is so much information out there I don't know what is reliable or where to start even, all I know is that I love them both and I want to be there in the ways they both need. Perhaps ironically before I had met them I got my certification to be an Independent Provider through the Department of Developmental Disabilities in my state so I'm not completely without experience but obviously I will be engaging him on a different level. Is there any advice the parents out there can give me? Resources you found useful? I've been reading this book..I believe it's called 1000 ways to engage your child..or something to that effect..and it describes different activities as well as a little about how to tell if it's too much. Everyone is unique but I could use at least one foothold here so I can be stronger for the both of them.

Again, sorry for rambling..too many thoughts in my head and so far not really sure where I can turn for help

Sarah

Stop worrying and putting pressure on yourself. Like any child, you just need to get to know him and what his personal likes and dislikes are.

Things to bear in mind are:

Sensory issues if he has them (he might hate loud noises, bright lights, food textures, certain clothing etc.) but bear in mind if he is hyposensitive not hypersensitive, that he might seek out stimulus which could involve him hurting himself (not all autistics have sensory issues but many do);

He is likely to need quiet time after being exposed to environments where there is a lot going on, a lot of people etc.;

If he has PECs cards, learn how to interact with him with those (you don't say if he's verbal or not);

He is likely to have low danger awareness and as he grows he may still need the supervision levels of a much younger child;

He may not understand humour or sarcasm and may take things literally;

He may have meltdowns, but these can be lessened by understanding his triggers;

He is likely to like routine and become stressed and may meltdown if sudden changes happen.

Good luck, I am sure you will be a great mum to him.