Trying to support someone with depression/psychosis

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YorkieDuck
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01 Jun 2013, 3:41 pm

I don't know if this is the best place to post this so sorry if not.

I (suspected Asperger's; assessment in 7 weeks) live with my sister who has depression and psychosis and is quite suicidal at the moment. She hasn't actually tried but nearly has. I really want to support her and be there for her and help if I can but just don't know what to do. I never know how she's feeling unless she tells me and I don't know what to say or do in response except give her a hug when she comes to me for one, tell her she doesn't need to be sorry when she apologises for being like that and say that she is nice too when she says I am.

At least she now knows about the possibility of my having Asperger's so she does tell me things a bit but she doesn't talk to me that much about it I think just because it's not easy to talk about.

Does anyone have any tips for how I can support and help her? Although she has some friends she talks to online (at least one who has been/is going through depression/psychosis too which I think is helping her), she doesn't really have any friends in the area so I'm the only person who's right here for her except her doctors etc.

Thank you :)



Wandering_Stranger
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01 Jun 2013, 5:05 pm

Can I suggest you let her know you're there if she needs someone to talk to and don't force her to discuss this? That was a problem for me 3 years ago. My hallmates kept bringing my depression problems up and it wasn't something I wanted to talk about. I wanted them to act normal and talk about other stuff.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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01 Jun 2013, 7:18 pm

Steer that broad middle course between always asking how she's doing and never asking.

And it sounds like you're doing really well, giving her a hug when you see she needs one and telling her she's nice, too. And when you make mistakes as a family member, and you will, and it's okay, please try and view the mistakes as texture. And I think there is generally trial and error and tinkering with medication. Perhaps occasionally, without being overbearing, ask her if she feels her doctor's an okay listener.

And try and be open to free positives. For example, maybe helping with rescue animals or feral cats, maybe getting involved with anti-corporate political activism (I mean, think big issues), or a local road running or poetry group. Nothing is more boring and dry than a life filled with obligations and 'working' on problems. Free positives are a very good thing, for both you individually and for your sister. Be there as a real person and be there in a steady eddie fashion, especially when she really needs you, and also take time for yourself. And I know that's a balancing act.



YorkieDuck
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02 Jun 2013, 9:29 am

Thanks for the replies. Yes I am trying to find the balance of talking about it because I know how little I like talking about things so I don't want to push her, but also want her to know I care.

Trying to get her doing something positive is a really good idea - she's been off work for 3 months now and is really bored and doesn't have a lot to fill her days with which can't help. Trouble is, I work quite a lot of hours and am not around much to do it with her and don't know if should would do it on her own, with all the anxiety etc and she doesn't like meeting new people much.

Thank you again for your help :)



neilson_wheels
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02 Jun 2013, 9:46 am

I'm sure more good advice will come.
More strength for you, best wishes, NW.