"Support"ed housing.

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I live in supported housing just outside London, UK. I have two housemates and a carer visits every day for a couple of hours.

My house"mates" gossip about me behind my back. They say to each other that I am "weird", "strange", "confusing" etc. The carer hasn't a clue what Asperger's is.

I tried to educate my housemates and the carer by giving them information about autism, but I still get told I'm "strange" or "wrong".

My housemates keep forcing me into social situations where they make me talk to them (I have communication difficulties so this is very stressful for me), and they do things like blast the TV or the radio, laugh loudly or talk really loudly, near my bedroom. I have quite severe sensory issues so this is very upsetting for me.

Recently I had a meltdown where I kicked the garden shed door to pieces, and another meltdown where I repeatedly punched the wall. This is because I cannot cope with the social demands of this house, the noise, and the general ignorance of my autism.

What do I do?

I cannot move out easily, I am waiting for the housing panel to discuss about what council flat I will go to. I am on housing benefit too.

Because the carer has no knowledge of autism, he provides me no support with it whatsoever. My mental health has been manageable and I haven't been in the psych ward for 19 months, but my Asperger's is classified as "severe" and I struggle even with leaving the house and going to the food shop across the roundabout, let alone do the things the "carer" suggests, such as go to social groups, talk to people at university etc (I have selective mutism and I have a support worker at university who helps me communicate and also helps me to manage my chronic anxiety - the carer told me to "stop relying on my support worker").

I don't know which organisation is your support provider but I know of a support provider that specialises in autism support
- Dimensions:-

http://www.dimensions-uk.org/what-we-do/autism-care/

Perhaps you could contact them to see if they could offer alternative support?

Do they offer help under the council? Because I get paid housing benefit and other benefits to stay here.

I will have a look tomorrow when I'm less spaced out.

Thanks. That helps.

You need to get a new carer.

Do you come under Sutton Council?

If so you could use this Housing Options website:-

https://sutton.ehodirect.org.uk/Data/AS ... 1/166.aspx

"This service enables you to find housing options personalised to your own circumstances without having to discuss your situation with an advisor. Once you enter your details you will be able to view and follow your personalised action plan.

If your circumstances are urgent and you need an appointment with a housing advisor, further details will be in your action plan."

There's also 2 National Autistic Society Support Centres in London and an Outreach service - these may be of some use or may be able to offer further advice:-

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/f ... ntres.aspx

Thanks for this.

I actually come under Merton Council (I am literally on the edge of Merton borough).

I have a support worker from the NAS but she only involves in university-related things because she's funded by Disabled Students' Allowance / Student Finance England.

I cannot really get a new carer as this carer privately owns this house. So to get a new carer, I'd have to move to a different supported housing, and that is very difficult nowadays.

I'm moving out into a flat of my own within the next few months hopefully, I have recently been told I'm being put forward to the Housing Panel this month hopefully they'll give me better support there than here.

What a unpleasant situation you're in, Steel Maiden. I see that things get to turn around for you? My advise to you in this kind of situations: talk to someone you trust and have a good feeling about. I don't know what your parents think about it? Someone has to listen to you, right? Another tip maybe: write a letter. Write down everything you think or feel about this situation. Take your time to write everything down you want, and then let it read by someone who maybe can help you. In a letter, it's easier to say what you want, without anyone's coming between you. Good luck! Hopefully things work in the positive direction for you

Just a word of warning, I don't want to give you an added thing to worry about but in the long run it would be worse if you didn't take this into account. Make sure that your new flat has sufficient sound-proofing, or at least doesn't have thin walls, and what the rules are and how they are enforced. Otherwise a flat can be a nightmare, the last place we lived was a HA flat and we suffered some gay men having loud late night parties spilling out onto their balcony below our bedroom windows regularly and other noise disturbances. We also had theft of our parcels as the parcel delivery man left them on the communal stairway or in the hall outside our door. There were druggie looking unsavoury types with their equally unsavoury friends who looked like dealers and someone playing a loud guitar plugged into a speaker late at night with all his windows and doors open above us. Unfortunately council and HA housing does get a lot of bad types. Our children were young too and it was awful living there.

We also had the bin store below our flat and would constantly get sounds of people slinging bags of rubbish and other items into the store landing with a thump even at night, and the refuse collectors came in the early hours of the morning shouting and banging right below our windows. There was also a chavvy girl in the private building next door, with access to her front door in the alleyway between the buildings that our windows overlooked and whose relationship problems played out at full strength at night times with her various boyfriends coming knocking and shouting at her door, and her sitting smoking below our windows.

As you have sensory issues with sound, make sure that whoever is making your housing decisions checks out (or allows you to check out) how much noise disturbance there is. Don't let them put you from the frying pan into the fire.

My care co-ordinator put on the housing form that I have hyperacusis and other sensory difficulties and must be put somewhere quiet.

My care co-ordinator is trying hard to help me.