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pezar
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13 Nov 2010, 3:49 pm

Hey kids, get into the game! EVERYBODY is guessing at a cause for autism, so why not us? And the best part is, medical science can't prove you wrong! Who needs medical science, anyway? Speculate away.

I'll go first:

I was huffing glue when the spiritual entity known as Scotchgard told me that autistics are Red People. Red People tend to show up as "red flags" to NTs, that's why they're called Red. Also, because many of them are fond of communism. They are here to save the planet from the harmful effects of acetone!

Dr. No injected me with a secret vaccine from the USSR and made me autistic! That [email protected]@rd! I need to sue SMERSH! Who's with me?



ediself
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13 Nov 2010, 3:58 pm

i can sue people with you if you want, but the causes of MY autism are very different. i think i got it at girl scouts camp, because all we ate was potatoes, and they made us sleep out in the cold. as everybody knows, :
New research is even more promising to potato lovers. A recent study reported in Nutrition Research concluded that cooled potato resulted in a significantly lower postprandial [after meal] blood glucose and area under the glucose curve than hot potatoes. (source: david mendoza, phd in potatoes, his website: http://www.mendosa.com/cold_potatoes.htm ) so the lack of blood sugar for months at a time and the sleeping in the cold made my mind numb to almost anything.
the end.



wavefreak58
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13 Nov 2010, 6:31 pm

EMF from power lines



Ambivalence
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13 Nov 2010, 6:34 pm

Alien space bats! Darn things get everywhere.


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wavefreak58
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13 Nov 2010, 6:35 pm

Radiation from microwave ovens.



DeadpanDan
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13 Nov 2010, 6:37 pm

The Nazis, bless their cursed souls, tried to create super scientists to go with the super soldiers. It's no coincidence that Hans Asperger and Leo Kanner looked up to the same German psychiatrist.

It didn't work though, as for every super scientist obsessed over rockets, you'd have one obsessed over a cartoon character.

All their test subjects were "released" by an allied bombing raid by total chance, and they traveled the globe, like people do.

The end (or is it the beginning?).



wavefreak58
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13 Nov 2010, 6:39 pm

DeadpanDan wrote:
It didn't work though, as for every super scientist obsessed over rockets, you'd have one obsessed over a cartoon character..


The ones obsessed over cartoon rockets were the worst.



oddone
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13 Nov 2010, 6:40 pm

Nonsense. Everyone knows it was an evil galactic warlord.



Asp-Z
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13 Nov 2010, 6:45 pm

New research suggests that it was cats that caused autism. They needed humans they could relate to, so they created us.



CockneyRebel
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13 Nov 2010, 6:53 pm

Refrigerator mothers and absent fathers.


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wavefreak58
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13 Nov 2010, 6:59 pm

Fluoride in water and toothpaste.

Eating paste in kindergarten.

Halloween candy

Cheeseburgers and pizza.

Butterfly poop.



kat_ross
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13 Nov 2010, 7:48 pm

SARUMAN



Aspieallien
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13 Nov 2010, 9:12 pm

The tooth fairy is to blame, AKA Fluoride.

Mercury

Lead

Food additives

Domestic and cosmetic chemicals

Debendox



another_1
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13 Nov 2010, 9:16 pm

Solar flares. The more active Sol is, the greater the incidence of ASD's. Either that, or it's from listening to Vogon poetry.



John_Browning
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13 Nov 2010, 10:02 pm

Autism genes were planted in our ancestors as part of a plot by the reptilians to take over the world! 8O


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kate123A
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13 Nov 2010, 10:07 pm

I believe it was caused by my husband being a religious fanatic. Neither myself or my kids wish to hear it so we stim to escape.