Relation with psychatrist

Post Reply New Topic

How should be ones relationship with ones psychatrist??

I have a male psychatrist, he is around my same age?

Its like instant chemistry

How should i behave around him?

I get emotionally attached with people who show bit of interest

Erm, I'm confused, aren't you married? If not, sorry I have mixed you up with someone else.

It would be unethical for any relationship between doctor and patient, so if you are attracted, and he feels the same (which you would have to be sure of) you would need to see a different doctor professionally to pursue a relationship with this one. Do you also know if he is single or not? Be sure before you do anything.

Look it's your choice. I don't personally approve of you going after a married man but it's your life so not my business. If he is married and has children, then it's even more serious, because they will be the ones who end up getting hurt the most when it comes to light what's been going on, if his wife throws him out. Are you even sure he's interested in you that way anyway? You do what you think best about what doctor you see for your treatment. But I don't want to give advice on affairs between married people because I just don't approve. In my view, if two people just cannot keep their hands off each other they should first break off their existing relationships to be free to do what they want.

I'm not going to get into the ethics of it all. This situation is very simple- You are trying to get help for your issues. You have some feelings for the doctor. Getting help requires a professional relationship devoid of personal feelings that will derail your objective.

Solution: Stop screwing around and go find someone you don't have feelings for so you can meet your mental health goals. Consider talking to the next doctor about your attachment issue.

If it was me, I'd want my patient/client to be open with me and to have a dialogue around this.
What if you mention your thoughts to him and gauge his response? A skilled (and ethical) psychiatrist will be able to handle this concern and talk you through to the point where you can make the best decision for you. It really seems a shame to throw away what sounds like a positive relationship without clarifying matters.
If he reciprocates your feelings (e.g. he says that he loves you back and tries to pursue a personal relationship) I would cut, run and consider reporting him to the appropriate medical board for the safety of his other patients (present and future).

I don't see how it is a crime for a Doctor and a Patient to fall in love with each other.

You're married. He's married.

DON'T let things turn romantic. This is not hard. Just refrain from flirting, and keep all your clothes on.

It is easy for people to become attached to their psychiatrists when they feel a connection with them. Remember though, it is his job to show interest in you. Aspies are bad at reading social clues, so you could easily be misreading his intentions.

Even if he does have a genuine romantic interest in you, it is highly unethical to pursue this. You are both married, and you have a patient doctor relationship. I suggest you talk to him about this first to clarify the situation. I am pretty sure you will find his interest in you is purely professional.

I'm assuming it's an emotional kinda fixation and not totally romantic in a sense. It's possible to get attached to people without it being romantic.

Maybe that would be a good thing to talk to him about in general. i.e talking about how you get attached to people who show interest in you (without referring to your attachment to him as a specific example). I imagine psychiatrists/psychologists/counselors end up being a subject of fixation more often than you think, so you're probably not the first patient who's felt like this towards him.

Ethics aside, as a patient you are in a vulnerable position, so he should not take advantage of this, as you are there because you have psychological issues.

It is a known phenomenon for patients to fall for their doctors, it is because you are in need, he is delivering support and this can be mistranslated as caring for you in a personal way. They don't call it a doctor's "bedside manner" for nothing.

It doesn't mean because he is pleasant to you, and shows a face of concern (which is his job) that he is lusting for you or has fallen in love with you. As a man, of course it's possible he could be lusting after you (although one would hope he was professional enough to keep any such thoughts in check) but if so, he would only be wanting one thing out of any personal relationship. I don't think I need to spell out to you what that is. Whereas you, may have idealised him, thinking he is your knight in shining armour, will save you from a bad marriage where your husband is cold, unsympathetic and uncaring, and that it will all be "happily ever after". Life is rarely like that. You would get hurt, you would have imagined roses round the door where all he was imagining was getting you into bed. More married men would choose to have their cake and eat it and never leave their wife, than those who leave their marriage for the person they are having an affair with.

The other point is, that you say there is chemistry, but how do you know that this is not all in your mind? Perhaps you have latched onto him and he doesn't feel anything like you imagine. Or maybe he is aware that you fancy him and is flattered and his ego is being massaged so he entertains it but has no intention of allowing things to go further. If he is a handsome man, he could well be used to his female patients falling for him (although I would hope he has never abused his position because of it).

You asked how you should behave with him, well clearly as you are besotted with him you will never behave the same in your therapy as if you weren't, and this makes your doctor patient relationship likely to be less therapeutic than it is meant to be, perhaps far less. Your thoughts will always be on how you want him and your issues may not be addressed.

It just seems like a bad situation, I don't know what to suggest to you, I've told you what I think about the ethics side already, only you can make choices for your situation, I just hope you make the right ones.