unasked questions

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Often I find myself in situation where I ask myself a question and I am literally stood next to an expert who could give me an answer.

But I never actually think to ask the expert the question.

The term expert is used loosely, this may be an academic question related to work or it may be me wanting to know what time my mother is doing something and of course in that scenario she is the expert on her own timetable.

I either end up in trouble for not asking something I should have or getting annoyed with myself because someone else thought to ask the question a few hours / days later and get all the credit for asking a good question or even missing out on something important because I just never thought to ask.

Who does this and how do you deal with it, is there a way to way to stop myself or rather start myself.

I run into this all the time... particularly medically. In these situations, I feel like I should already know the answer or be capable of finding the answer for myself... I feel like this is definitely a self-confidence issue. I've heard that having a list of questions ready to ask is helpful, but I still can't seem to bring myself to make this step.
I echo the need for support around this!

I have trouble asking questions too. This is part of my social deficits and why I don't have friends. It's hard to find common ground with people if you don't know anything about them. And it's hard to know anything without asking questions about them.

These are 'automatic' things. Micro-programs, if you please, that your unconscious has built years ago and runs them even now.

The main problem is that our mind doesn't realize it needs to update these little programs every few years so we end up using old stuff.
It may even be so old as and equivalent to "children should be seen and not heard".

You (we- all of us) have had a lot of experiences since then, we know a lot more.
This is truly "If I knew now what I know now!" =)

About 5 years ago I discovered how to get one's brain to 'update' so to speak. It's the crux of Stabilizing Autism Project's ability to 'shrink' the holes in one's skillsets.

It's fast, it's easy, and it literally works over night, often sooner.
(Even morons have very good organic computers -compared to my laptop anyhow).

And it helps our nonprofit help destitute HFA adults. If you're interested at all StabilizingAutism/unsolicited-advice
Don't go there unless you're very bored.


I can't explain this well in text so this link is the best help/advice I can give... But I can offer it for free.
The brain is an awesome thing, esp an aspie brain! =)

Last edited by 1401b on 18 Jun 2013, 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was very shy when I was young, and as I got older I got more afraid. Many times I would have a question in my mind but unable to ask it. (I seemed to have a serious fear of the answer, I still do today too).

Somewhere along the way I lost that fear of asking. I don't know or remember how that came about.
Now days, at any meeting or conference I'm usualy the one asking questions, and often challanging the speeker as well. I want him to justify his stance or belief. I'm happy to be convinced, but as presented I'm not convinced.

Interesting.

I didn't mean that this in any way has a relationship to confidence.

It is as if I know I have a question, and I know who knows the answer but I just don't connect the the two things and realise I could just ask.

When my brain engages I will have no trouble asking, my actual shyness disappeared long ago.

Thanks for the link 1401b, it sounds interesting, won't click as I am far too busy too even be on this forum and I just know this kind of thing will send me on a research trail that will last hours.
This sounds like a short term version of what you describe. It also sound allot like the personality of someone I know.

    Fair enough -maybe later.
    Since it's my development, there's not much to research on the web yet so that may save you. Know how you feel though. =)


    This is exactly what I'm referring to -the "wrong" little program runs right here and distracts/deflects your thoughts to elsewhere.
    You can solve this yourself but it takes a long time and lots of effort.

    

I have taken a look to let you know what I think, I'm a bit too far away to take part in anything like this.

Some of the content on your website made allot of sense, the idea of updating the way we think to life events is very true, I often feel like I need extra input to respond properly so perhaps I could have benefited.

I suspect my boyfriends and his sister are both aspies, this defiantly is the way they appear to think. It's like stereotypes of people and things where set after bad experiences with as children . I had many experiences when I was younger as my mum insisted on me trying many things but I often have to remind him when he is trying something new, do you remember that time when you assumed something was going to be like something and it turned out completely different to what you expected so he feels comfortable. He is a little more open to experiences now but they still have to be taken one at a time. Neither of us are comfortable doing something neither of us have tried before.

But I was a bit confused with some content too. I was a bit confused with the golf thing, not really sure how it all connected to the rest of your ideas, did you mean actual golf? This confusion may be due to some of the language used, I can see there is a conversational style which was friendly but perhaps a little hard to follow..