Severe "Meltdowns" and methods for dealing with th

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I actually have at random times (and somewhat frequent) severe meltdowns. And they are definitely a cause of concern for me, of late.

I know many people have told me to exersise, find a quiet place to unwind, take a walk. But sometimes it seems impossible for me to just "go for a walk". It is just so intense I lose my vision and everything gets all blurry and weird. Almost like I am semi-conscious and sort of this displaced feeling like I am "outside my body". I guess another way to put it is "tunnel vision".

Honestly the best thing I can try to do is try to breath and find a quiet place. I end up smoking a cigarette which may cause more anxiety I think. But it tends to work for some reason. I had this one time with a friend and we were at a restaurant and she told me to go outside and have a cigarette and I did and it worked. Probably because I removed myself from the persons sight and got perspective on why I was upset and resolved it.

I was just was trying to understand this as my parents think that Aspies do not get so out of control like I do. Honestly I think it is also because I am an alcoholic and I guess I am a "dry drunk" since I stopped going to AA but I still have not touched a drop for about 11 years. So going back to AA and working the program would definitely help my irritability. I mean I cannot even list how many things I have broken, walls, and constantly bruising myself or even breaking bones. I punched a hard wood door and fractured two of my metacarpals about 2 years ago. Still got an odd bump on the side of my hand where the bone fused together.

Anyways I really would like to put a damper on this. I fear that it would be horrible to get in a relationship with a woman right now because of this problem. NTs have a tendancy to be afraid of me especially my family. They have put of with so much and they are still there for me because they know I struggle with it. Someone mentioned a type of martial arts that helps calm you. It is totally different than say Karate or Kenpo as those are more for self-defense and not really to "center your mind and body".

I would love to hear anyones story of success or failure in regards to "meltdowns".

I get severe meltdowns; I have nearly been arrested for assault a few times before, and I've caused damage to property too.

I cannot stop my meltdowns unless I have a support worker or similar to go through my de-escalation steps with me.

I take two antipsychotics (for my schizophrenia) and an antidepressant (for my OCD), but none of them have any additional meltdown-prevention properties unfortunately.

the only thing i've found that works is mitigative prophylaxis in the sense of doing things that prevent the meltdown in the first place. i try to avoid the things i know i just can't handle; and while it isn't always possible, its just possible enough that i sometimes have enough emotional reserve left to tolerate the times when exposure is unavoidable. i think there was a time when i worried more about what people thought of this. why i don't do x union y and y union z. why i decline parties, people, interactions and stimuli that leave me in overloaded and dangerously distressed. but inevitably, i think you have to do what you need to do to function. abortive strategies employed after the meltdown has already ensued, for me, are less effective (and it takes a lot more effort and a lot longer time to climb down off the proverbial ceiling). however, the therapist who treats me for ASD/anxiety/depression offered a protocol which seems to ease the process: withdrawal to a calm place; noise canceling headphones; deep breathing; distraction... i also have things like weighed blankets which seem to help, if they're available and employable.

Meltdowns suk.

I work in IS writing code for a fortune 100 company's multi-billion dollar billing system. Drugs are not an option.

Exercise, is key. For me, exercise is the best mitigation effort I can perform. Period. I have encountered no better cure (and I have tried drugs prior to my current employment).

Exercise is not enough on really tough days. If I am in a 'frustrated' mood, I have potential for truly disastrous meltdowns so I employ additional mitigation steps.
1. Eat well. My key trigger is hunger while frustrated. One or the other can eventually lead to a meltdown but the confluence of BOTH triggers nasty meltdowns for me. Don't eat crap. If I eat a donut and coffee, in 30 minutes I am a bomb. Eat protein and dairy to get your metabolism up and keep it there with infusions of good food (fruit, vegetables, real food) until I can get home and beat up a heavy bag. BTW, I am not hypoglycemic or diabetic. I have done the tests several times.

2. Stay busy, stay focused. Keep the OCD thoughts (especially the negative ones) out by staying focused on a task. SQL or C# code keeps me busy and my mind off the social injustices that so often frustrate me. In particular, DO NOT ENGAGE IN NEGATIVE OR VIOLENT FANTASY.

3. Avoid negative influences that acerbate your triggers. I get PISSED when I encounter injustice (just speaking the names Bush or Obama fills me with righteous anger). If I want to go off and be a complete a-hole monster capable of all kinds of atrocity, I skip lunch and watch youtube videos of police brutality. Nothing gets my ire up and my IQ down faster. I feel all righteous and angry and with the fog caused by hunger I can rationalize violence (as a former soldier, I abhor violence). I know this so I don't entertain the possibility.

This is all based on my ability to recognize my triggers. This was done with the help of my long suffering wife as I am too close to the forest to see the trees on my own.

IMO you need to recognize your triggers and use that knowledge to custom develop a solution that works for you.

Thanks everyone for the advice so far it definitely helps to have some additional ideas. I found that sometimes I do not eat for long periods and that usually makes the meltdowns happen more easily and reading things online that aggravate me seem to push me over the edge. Also not being able to do certain obsessions can cause it too or if something is not working the way I want it to.

So I know the triggers. Sometimes things happen that are unavoidable what I call "acts of god". Basically things that are out of your control. It is recognizing when these things occur so I can mitigate them before I explode.

And medication does not work for me either. I have tried anti-psychotics for off-label use. Supposedly they can help with irritability but they never worked for me. I am currently only on one med for depression right now as I stopped Geodon (Anti-psychotic) a while back.

The best tool I have in my meltdown mitigation arsenal is the apple I put in my laptop case every day.

When I get angry, I eat the apple.

It works on so many levels.

I had meltdowns that were completely unreasonable all my life (both in the level of my reaction and the sometimes/oftentimes minor 'cause')

What helped me was pulling grains out of my diet and going gluten free. That was done for a completely different reason several months ago, and within days I felt calmer and noticed my reactions to triggers were remarkably lessened. This caused the Doc to pursue a thought of Aspergers in May and I will be taking the full day tests next week.

It isn't for everyone, but I felt like a completely different person, so thought I would add it. I was told to read labels and eat no wheat for a month to see if it helped. It was an amazing transformation, but do know it is VERY difficult as wheat is in just about everything these days.

Good luck to you in whatever you end up doing.

I had severe meltdowns when I was a teen, leading to arrests, kicking/punching holes in wall. The last time was in my mid 20's when I broke my hand because I punched a solid wood door. Since then, I do my best to avoid confrontation or simply shut down.

As someone whose autism is more intense than Asperger's, this is a concern that I've had for quite some time. Taking an SSRI has helped me. I also find it useful to carry a card explaining to the outside world that you are a person with autism, what this condition is, and the contact info of 2 people you know who can explain the situation. Just having this on me has calmed me down so much.

Look, I take an SSRI and work in a mentally intensive field as well and am self-employed as a side gig. My main concern is avoiding missing work because somebody put me in involuntary hold again, and then dealing with paying for it afterward. The pills don't slow me down at all. One thing I'm also trying is getting my SHBG levels up by having some flax seed (testosterone - in both men and women - can increase aggression) and so far it's been helping quite a bit.

In terms of the meditation or martial arts type stuff I would say anything that helps focus the mind would work. It doesn't have to be like Zen or whatever. You can just do the four-fold breath - in, 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, out 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, while listening to meditation music and just trying to blank your mind. Also when you are outside or in the street do wear lite earplugs if you can. I wish you the best of luck.

I tend to shutdown instead of meltingdown but getting away from the situation helps

I get meltdowns when out of control and can get violent. I hate it as I was brought up with a lot of physical punishment and know how wrong it is but I can just lose it and lash out when everything is on top of me and no one will help. My poor husband gets the brunt of this although he is usually totally unhelpful because he cannot understand how to help and I get more frustrated at his ineptitude. It was trying to get help for this during an impossibly stressful time that I realised that the issue was AS and so much came together. After the diagnosis I have been more or less abandoned but at least it gives me insight into what is going on. I do have diazepam for when I feel myself going into meltdown. Unfortunately, the lowest dose makes me sleepy so I can only use it if I do not have to drive and I have to recognise when to take it. Prevention is the best way of dealing with it but my AS means that I find it very difficult to maintain friendships and I find it very difficult to discuss my problems with my family as they have enough to deal with themselves.