Anomaly.

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(I have a question at the end of this post)

I feel like I am an anomaly. I have Asperger's that my psychiatrist said is severe enough to require supported housing and a full-time support worker at university. But I can carry a conversation. However it must be about science, otherwise I really struggle to carry on the conversation. But when it is about science, I can carry on a deep scientific discussion at length. For example this evening the carer visited and when the other residents were talking about TV, the weather, etc. I just walked off. Then I heard the carer say "the Earth is tilted at an angle" and I leaped into the conversation and went on a ramble about how weather systems are affected by the tilt of the Earth etc. I don't understand emotions and I have extremely limited understanding of body language / tone of voice etc. I talk in a monotone and can easily get carried away with my monologues. I struggle profoundly with groups, even having a support worker with me doesn't calm me down enough. I cannot go to parties etc because I start pacing and shouting / screaming at people. I do not understand metaphors well at all, and I find people very confusing (people have said I'm "rude", "weird", "inappropriate" etc).

I have real issues with organising myself, and I have to get the carers to "translate" letters for me that comes through the post, because I cannot understand them on my own (especially if they're from my bank or a membership of mine). I cannot fill in paperwork on my own (I get severely confused). I live in supported housing because I have great difficulties with looking after my affairs, I have a form of selective mutism, and I struggle even with going to the shops on my own.

I have a taxi service funded by the government to take me to and from university, and I have meltdowns when I go into a supermarket that is anything more than quiet. I have been nearly arrested several times for things I've done during meltdowns.

I can spend several days 95% in my bedroom, housebound due to anxiety, paranoia, but most importantly, my preference to study / research / do maths problems for 10+ a day, which makes going out secondary, if not tertiary. I only eat, drink and sleep when I am starving / absolutely exhausted, because my obsessive interests take preference.

I have an IQ of 160 and I have a strong academic record. But at the same time I am far behind people my age in that I've never been able to work and I could not look after myself independently.

I also have severe sensory issues and live in sunglasses and noise-cancelling headphones. I cannot cope with physical contact. I also stim a lot.

My question: is this "severe Asperger's" like my psychiatrist said?

From your description, it sounds like you have more impairments than a number of other Aspies I have known. Are you just curious about how other people would view it? Or do you question the "severe" part?

edited to add: Or are you wondering if it is beyond "severe Aspergers"?

I ask because although I recognise my multiple impairments, I am able to converse with people to some degree (although I find conversation exhausting as it takes a large mental effort), even if it is only about scientific topics. I thought this was a bit of an anomaly.

Edited due to double post by accident.

I'm not sure I understand why it might be an anomaly? Your ability to communicate has never seemed diminished to me in this forum. I do not find it unusual that you are able to converse with people in real life (though I do not find it hard to believe that it would be very taxing to you). Are you saying that with the degree of your other impairments, you find the degree to which your ability to communicate has been unaffected surprising? Maybe it is just part and parcel of how autism affects different people in different ways and how you can be severely impaired in some aspects of your life, but relatively functioning in others?

I feel like I am an anomaly too.

I have low social cognition, much lower than most autistic people who communicate through words (I don't know about the autistic people who don't communicate through words), and I have limited emotional understanding, also much lower than most, but I could communicate and interact since I learned to communicate and interact much later than most, including having conversations about random topics and arguing with the phone company about the phone bill.

I also became high-functioning as adult from moderate/severe autistic traits as child, so I am combination of quite high-functioning + quite autistic now.

SteelMaiden.

I do not know that you are an anomaly, but it's possibly because I also deal with comparatively severe impairments (relative to many people with AS) and also have a high IQ (although I do not think it is quite 160). I think there's an expectation that someone who is intelligent must be able to use that intelligence to mitigate impairments. My issue with this is that the organ that is impaired is the same organ that must compensate (the brain). I admit that the brain is complex enough that strengths in one area may be able to offset weaknesses in other because impairments are not necessarily evenly spread across the brain and one's cognitive functions, but I still find it difficult to accept that assumption that high IQ means milder symptoms.

I think there's a handful of people on this forum who are diagnosed with AS and have impairments that might be described as "severe" relative to common expectations about AS, and I think that sometimes this diagnosis is troublesome for me (I do not want to assume for anyone else) because of such expectations.

I don't think you're an anomaly, although your situation is perhaps not as common as that of people who deal with fewer impairments.

I just feel odd that I can communicate fairly well, but I have severe Asperger's too. Note: my typed communication is much better than my oral communication; when I speak I often clutter and get my words mixed up. Although I can carry on a conversation if I concentrate enough, but it is tiring.

I can understand that with autism, the person can be badly impaired in some ways, but not so much in others. It is a spectrum.

People are confusing to me in my life.

Verdandi, I posted the same time as you did so I will reply now.

That makes sense. I don't agree with those who say high IQ = less impairments.

I have a huge problem with talking to people that prefer to watch rubbish TV all day and don't want to educate themselves. I live with two people like that in this supported housing. They often say things like "I have no idea what you're talking about", especially today when I was rambling about the curvature of space-time. However my Dad is highly intelligent and we can talk for hours about scientific theories etc.

Yeah, I have similar issues with verbal vs. written communication. I was frustrated once after I came in to a session with my case manager while unable to speak, and spent the session typing instead. What frustrated me was that my case manager disliked the typing because even though I communicated more clearly and stuck to relevant topics, and found it generally easier to write than speak, I didn't engage in circuitous or tangential speech and thus didn't engage in digressions that she thought illustrated my personality in some way.

My therapist said my communication was superficially competent, so she is apparently unaware of how much effort it takes, how hard it is for me to put what I want to say into the correct words and how exhausting the process is. She is aware that I constantly digress into my interests and is not very good at stopping me - not as good as I am at stopping myself, it seems.



Yes. Very much so for me too.

Now I understand what you mean.

When I first started interacting with people on the spectrum online, I was forever "forgetting" that I was sometimes talking to people with severe impairments. Their communication seemed so fluid and eloquent online and I frequently made unfair assumptions about what their IRL capabilities were like. Because of that, I learned early on that the clarity with which someone communicates online may not be representative of the difficulties they may face in daily life, so I guess it is almost like I have mentally divorced the concepts of "level of functioning" and "clarity in communication." Perhaps that is why I do not find it to be an anomaly?

I hope none of that paragraph sounded offensive. I don't mean it to be. I hope you can understand what I am trying to say.

InThisTogether - That's ok, I don't tend to get offended easily. You're right about the communication difference between real life and on a screen. I have gone non-verbal for a day many times and then I rely on typing. When I go to a psychiatrist appointment, I always hand her a typed letter summarising my problems, as I find talking to her hard.

Verdandi - I can understand your communication issues. I have the problem of getting carried away about science topics. I have a mild speech problem which means I clutter and get words confused. My Dad said that often people can't understand what I'm saying.

Socialising is inherently exhausting.

I'm going to bed now (it's 1am).

So let me sum up your post:

I (Exact desctription of severe Aspergers Syndrome) ... my Psychiatrist says I have severe Aspergers Syndrome, is he wrong?

Nope, your psychiatrist is right. But if you're concerned it would probably be better to ask another psychiatrist specializing in autism spectrum disorders, not random people online.

I don't mind people watching rubbish TV as long as they don't drag me into talking about it. I mean there are shows I love and will talk about for hours, but there are many I just don't care about.

I think a conversation about the curvature of space-time would be pretty awesome.

Re: cluttering - I looked up a video on it and the person talking sounded like how I feel when I am trying to speak. I don't know if my speech is actually cluttered to the point of being officially that, but the degree that it may happen doesn't make it any easier.

I often pursue my special interests for eight hours in a row without eating, drinking, or going to the bathroom.

That is a normal behavior of mine, and my brain automatically thinks that there is something wrong with people who don't do that.

This applies to me too, and I agree it can interfere with self care. I have alerts on my computer to interrupt those things so things that need to get done do get done.

I just don't think it prevented me from learning those skills. Especially the skills I tried to learn and failed. And how do my interests require me to learn explicit step by step instructions on how to clean each kitchen I've ever been involved in cleaning? I am not able to say that I did certain tasks in a previous kitchen so I can do those same tasks in the new kitchen. There are too many differences - where things are stored, differences in how the dishwasher might be loaded, appliances are in different locations. I have to go through the process again with each new place I live in.

Why did it take me years and years to learn how to manage shampoo and conditioner? Simple explanations didn't work, threats didn't work, punishment didn't work. Ultimately what worked is I finally ended up with a bathing routine that I follow strictly, although that sometimes has to change (which can totally break my ability to manage bathing or showering for a time) when I move to a new place.

I am not trying to argue here, and I apologize if it came across that way. I am trying to explain what I meant by "my interests aren't what interfered with my ability to learn some of these things."