15 Jul 2013, 2:50 pm
15 Jul 2013, 4:13 pm
StarTrekker
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15 Jul 2013, 5:54 pm
1. I have yet to be "officially" diagnosed, but once I am, the resulting emotion will certainly be relief, because I will finally have the name for what's different about me on paper.
2. I interact with NTs the same way I interact with aspies. With close friends and family members, I don't have to work so hard to try and hide my weirdness because they're used to it and know what causes it, but with strangers, I sometimes wonder how much of my difference is visible to them. I sometimes get frustrated by the lack of understanding from NTs, particularly regarding my social and sensory problems; they think I ought to be able to "snap out of it" whenever I feel like, or that my experiences aren't that big a deal because the things that bother me have no effect on them.
3. My two primary problems as far as AS is concerned are definitely sensory issues, and social anxiety that is a result of my poor communication skills. Both of these things make finding a job and remaining employed difficult, as well as inhibiting the amount that I'm able to branch out and be independent; at 20 I still live at home with my parents, who treat me the same way they do my 15 year-old sister. My inherent lack of emotional maturity is also problematic with regard to demonstrating my level of age-related independence.
4. I haven't really had any true "victories" that stem specifically from having AS, although there have been a few victories that have come from my posessing certain AS-related traits, two of which being a love of learning and an ability to hyper-focus on one specific subject. These traits were useful during school in enabling me to give lectures to several psych classes about ASDs; my depth of knowledge and love of the subject were paramount in my having that opportunity, and both traits occurred because I have AS.
Hope I helped, good luck with your video, we hope you stick around Dain 
15 Jul 2013, 6:14 pm
15 Jul 2013, 6:18 pm
StarTrekker
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Age: 33
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Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant
15 Jul 2013, 7:55 pm
No problem, glad I could help
whirlingmind
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16 Jul 2013, 4:23 am
16 Jul 2013, 10:39 am
Welcome to WrongPlanet!
The school and the video both seem like very excellent and helpful programs; best of luck to you in your fundraising!
1. If you can remember, how did you feel when you were diagnosed with autism? (Warning: this appears to have descended into ranting)
*points to signature* Me being or not being "officially" autistic is an ongoing debate. That being said, I remember an instance when I was nine years old and on vacation with my one of my older sisters and her family; she explained my strange behaviors (running/pace around, talking to seemingly thin air) as "she's severally autistic" ( to her, "severely" was synonymous to "noticeably"). I remember asking my stepmom when I returned from vacation if I was autistic; she said that doctors had suggested it (which turned out to be true). We were at an antique shop or flee market of some sort at the time; I remember looking down at a ceramic drama mask and feeling as though I could relate to it somehow, that, for the first time, I realized that how I see myself on the inside was not the same as how others saw me from the outside. I bought the mask as a symbol of this new realization; soon, both the mask and autism were pushed aside. Flash forward about seven-or-so years; somehow, the topic of autism had popped back into my mind. I remember reading through various articles about autism and Asperger's and thinking, "So there areother people on this planet who think, feel, and act a bit like I do!" (At this point, I had almost convinced myself that I was a werewolf or other non-human species, as the humans did not appear to accept me as one of them). When I was 17, a therapist had "highly suggested" that I had Asperger's; I remember feeling validated, as though my sensitivities and peculiarities were legitimate. A year later, a different therapist claimed that I likely do not have autism due to my natural "empathy" (being able to determine emotions from people's faces and voices), ability to engage in appropriate conversation, and decent eye contact. This made sense, as such things are one of the largest components of autism; however, it also left me a bit confused, as there was so much about me that autism explains, such as my "stimming," my sensitivities, my occasional literal-mindedness, and my obsessive tendencies, that other terms, such as Schizotypal Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia, did not seem to cover. It is highly likely that I have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder, which I can almost accept as the comprehensive diagnosis...except that many people on these forums report having it also, and more than one person on MDD forums reports having an ASD. The debate rages on, I suppose...
In short, though I may not ever be diagnosed with autism, as there are some components that I do not appear to have, I have benefited very much and have received much peace from learning about autism and interacting with the autistic community.
2. What are some of the emotions you experience as someone on the autistic spectrum when it comes to interacting with those not on the spectrum; specifically parents, friends and teachers?
When I have friends and when we interact with each other, I feel intrigued by their behavior and their priorities, grateful for their company, and accepted, if even a tad bit, into their world; when they shove me aside or cut contact with me, however, I feel saddened, confused (very, very confused), upset at myself, and a bit worthless; when this happens, I feel the urge to become a complete and utter recluse.
My parents intimidate me a bit, as they naturally have very strong emotions, especially when upset, and I am highly sensitive to strong emotions; however, they accept me as much as their "older" mindset allows them to, and my father had to raise me without my mother due to circumstances beyond either of their control, so the predominate emotion I feel towards my parents is grateful. There are times when I feel misunderstood, irrelevant, frustrated, or that I am burden upon them, but there are also times when they make me feel secure, supported, and happy.
As I am the stereotypical "nerd," teachers and I established a good rapport with each other; I did their homework and made good grades, and they didn't seem to mind me crying or scratching myself or taking ten minutes to find a worksheet. Most teachers and I interacted on a more-or-less impersonal level; though we respected each other, I did not become "buddies" with all of my teachers. There were a few teachers that made me feel overwhelmed and frustrated, especially those that simply told me to "quit crying" or "calm down." Some teachers, however, especially in high school, expressed genuine concern for me, encouraged my interests and talents, and did their best to make me feel as accepted and safe as possible; it is because of these teachers that I did not drop out of high school (though the grades were always very high, the stress of it all made me consider this rather deeply).
3. What are the main difficulties you experience in life as someone with autism?
I am not sure what difficulties or to what extent those difficulties are cause by autism specifically; I do know that one of my main issues, regardless of whatever the official diagnosis is, is my hyper-emotionality-- me being sad drags me into a depression (though I have many traits of clinical depression), me being angry or frustrated can easily drive me into a self-injurious meltdown or a barely-responsive shutdown, me being scared or startled can terrify me, and me being overly excited can wear me out a bit.
4. What are some of the biggest victories you've experienced while living with autism?
I apologize if the following has a braggy or condescending tone; this was not my intention.
My intense focus, perfectionism, compulsion to compensate for my weaknesses, and lack of social success (and, thus, social distractions) were all rather conducive to my academic success; I graduated fifth in my class of about 450 students without any IEP or 504 in place (I got taken off of those in the third grade, though this may be more due to the lack of resources in my state than my actual abilities and mental health). My highly verbal mind has also gained me some success in the writing world; I won third place in a National (well, there were only 11 states involved) Beta poetry contest in the eight grade, and I have won a few poetry contests since.
Sorry for the ranting nature of the first two questions. I hope that you can find something of benefit in my post.
16 Jul 2013, 2:42 pm
