I have been having a bad week. I know I am in shutdown. I always struggle just to get by, but normally I can mostly manage what I need to do to live independently. But there are long periods where my functioning is much lower. I struggle to organize eating, dont leave the house or be around any people, I only speak when I have to and only if I'm being pushed. I am overwhelmed by simple tasks like showering or washing dishes. All I want to do is sit in my house alone in the dark and tiny demands will push me into meltdown. This usually goes for a couple of weeks, about six times a year.
I don't have a job because I was very unreliable, missing long periods or turning up not speaking. I feel very isolated because people don't understand me. They see me when I am in my 'normal' state and I can seem ok- I get good marks at uni, I do live independently, have travelled, am in a long term relationship. But because of these things no one sees the constant struggling, and then the extreme struggling when I shutdown for weeks.
I feel like I need more support than I am getting, but I don't really know how to go about it or what my options are. I am recognised by the government as having autism, but from what I can see there are only services available for people who have very extreme disability (I am in Australia). I want to feel supported, not terrible isolation, and that there is someone to turn to when I can't manage something on my own or need to know I'm not alone. But I want them to understand that just because I seem to be doing a lot better sometimes it doesn't mean that I am not in need of support. I don't want to feel like I am somehow taking services that I don't deserve. Does anyone have experience with support workers? How does it work exactly?
