Cold callers always say "It's nothing to worry about.&q

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I don't know if this is what they say to everyone, I think it isn't and I think I must get so shocked, or anxious or something when the doorbell rings or someone knocks that I am not expecting, but so many times they look at me and say "Don't worry, it's nothing to worry about."

Does anyone else get this? Or is it a matter of course that they say it to everyone generally? I mean they usually show me some pass and they are holding a clipboard or whatever so they don't say it the second I open the door, they show me their pass and announce who they are and then they say that.

I must look like a frightened rabbit or something. I mean I hate having visitors and if I'm not expecting someone I do feel stressed because what if it's the gas & electricity reader, I hate letting them in. It throws me when the doorbell rings. I'm not expecting it to be someone telling me some tragic news though so I don't know why I so regularly get told this.

I also hate unannounced callers (or even vaguely expected parcel deliveries) because sometimes they say things and I don't realise they were rude to me and I feel confused by things they said and when I check with my husband he tells me they were being sarcastic or rude. But sometimes it works better that way because one parcel delivery man who did this was so OTT nice the next time he came because I was calm and pleasant and it must have made him feel bad at how he spoke to me, and another one actually outright said "sorry if I was rude" as I'd been oblivious to him being rude and had made a joke with him and he must have also felt bad.

Last edited by whirlingmind on 03 Jul 2013, 10:47 am, edited 3 times in total.

I don't often get that as a comment, but fully share your reaction over unannounced callers!

I've noticed you have a tendency to over-worry about what people think of you. IMO what they say to you isn't the problem, your fixation on the interaction afterward is. I hope you don't take what I said the wrong way because I am genuinely trying to help. This is just a facet of social anxiety and I would encourage you to get some type of counseling for it.

...not quite sure how you interpret my post that way.

Thanks for your input anyway.

Well, you could just not let them in.

I mean, open the door, find out what they want, and if they're just going door to door with a survey or trying to sell something, slam the door on them. Don't worry about it being rude - NTs do it all the time. Unnecessarily coming to someone's door unannounced when you don't know them is rude to begin with, so it's socially acceptable to be rude in order to defend your space from them.

Same with telephone calls. As soon as you realize it's a telephone solicitor, hang up on them.

I never do let them in. This is always carried out at the door. I don't think I could slam a door in someone's face unless I was having an argument with them!

I have hung up my mobile before from those annoying spam calls, but often I will be polite and be straining to find a point that I can tell them I'm not interested.

Meanwhile they're deliberately trying to keep you from getting a chance to say you're not interested.

Politeness doesn't work. I tell them, "NO THANK YOU! NOT INTERESTED! DO NOT CALL AGAIN!" and hang up.

(I don't care what they think of me or if their feelings get hurt.)

Then I'll save the number on my cell phone as a contact named "Telemarketer" and set its ring tone to "None".

They usually leave no voice mail; and if they do, I check the call-back number against my list of contacts and telemarketers, and check it again with a Google search. Telemarketers never get a return call from me.

Simple, eh?

I can't say I've ever been told that, but that doesn't mean they only say it to you.

Anyway, if you hate them coming around so much (and who doesn't?) why not invest in a little sign posted at the entrance that tells them not to come in?

I agree with your conclusion, but not your reason. "NTs do it all the time" is not a reason to do something.



Now that's closer to a valid reason. I wouldn't say that just knocking on someone's door unannounced is rude - but not taking "no" (a polite "no") for an answer is rude and that justifies slamming the door. So my approach is simple: refuse politely once and if they don't get that then close the door. I think that's entirely justified.

An alternative, when I feel up to it, is to toy with them by asking all sorts of logical questions trying to catch them lying. It's a game I play at their expense - which I also feel is justified.

Well I do add spam text numbers and phone calls to my blacklist, so I guess that helps some. Unless I'm having a bad day I just can't immediately hang up on people even if they are salespeople etc. I did hang up once recently when I was stressed and it was just at the right moment to annoy me enough. The stupidest one is when they call me saying it's about your missold PPI...I've never had PPI and when I calmly announce this to them they don't know what to say.

@FMX: Well I do already have a sign stuck to the letterbox saying "no junk mail" and "no leaflets or brochures" (no room for one more sign!) so you'd think they'd get the general message that this isn't a house to bother with.

The daftest one I had a few years ago, was these two sweet old ladies rang the doorbell and started asking me what I thought of the state of the world. Well of course most people have a lot to say on that so I proceeded to say what I thought and how crap it was, I had a right old chat with them for about 5-10 minutes and they offered me a leaflet. I felt it would be rude to refuse it so I took it and they then announced the price of it (I handed it straight back at that point!)! It only turns out they were Jehovah's Witnesses and I was too gormless to realise! I never made that mistake again.

"Don't worry, it's nothing to worry about." => rude opening line for someone who rings a random persons doorbell on a complete random moment in order to sell crap to them whether they want it or not.

I just hang up without saying a word.



I don't either.



Good idea! I didn't think of this. I'll try it.



They leave no voice mail either. Hey can't you get on a do not call me list?



Indeed!

No need to open the door or to answer the phone if you are not expecting someone. In fact even if you are, you can let a stranger in that way.

I'm not sure why so many people are coming to your door unannounced or waltzing into your home once you open it. You don't have to let them in. It's YOUR home.

No, you have to be specific here! You could replace the "no leaflets" sign ("no junk mail" kind of covers it already), but it would be better to put a sign directly near your door - ideally right next to the doorbell. Remember, they want to sell you stuff, so you need to leave them no excuse for not seeing or not understanding the sign. If you do have a really obvious sign that also give you an excuse to be rude to them (should you need it), because that way you've already told them once you don't want to talk to them.

Um, I already said above (Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 7:33 pm) that it's at the door, I never let them in. I'm not crazy.

That's the nature of cold callers, they do come unannounced, they are selling stuff or asking for charity money usually.

It seems to work the other way for me, they run off and I shout up the road 'No come back, I only want to talk to you'.

If you have a wooden door you can fit a little spy hole viewer in 10 minutes for peanuts from DIY store.

http://www.screwfix.com/p/door-viewer-b ... id=1055732
http://www.screwfix.com/p/chrome-plated ... id=1056047

Just need a power drill and the right size bit.