I can't be happy for myself.

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My only happiness stems from making others happy..


This frustrates my fiancee. He gets mad at me a lot because I try to make him happy... yet I do it for "His happiness" not "mine"

Then he says that im completely selfish because I dont think of anyone but myself in that i cant be happy myself, but only for other people. (Barely makes sense)


I cant control what makes me happy ...

And he thinks i can just shut my sadness off. He can do it himself, but I cant, and he thinks becuase he can, I can too.

it REALLY doesnt work that way..


He says I "Dont want" to be happy because if i "DID" I would just "Stop being sad"

it REALLY REALLY doesnt work that way for me.... even though it does for him.


How can I make him understand that my emotions are just different than everyone elses?


i'm so sad... that he doesnt understand :/

I understand, somewhat, his confusion regarding your happiness. If you've always had that "switch" you would find it difficult to understand how anyone could be miserable.

This happened to me some time after I began practicing mindfulness meditation. I'm not sure how I did it, but I eventually developed this mental "switch" where I can simply choose to be happy, regardless of my current circumstances.

But I understand what it's like to be hopelessly and uncontrollably miserable.

All I can do is suggest that you might consider doing what I did, and start meditating everyday, even if it's only for 5-10 minutes.

It's not a religion or anything like that - you don't need to believe anything to practice it.

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it." - Thich Nhat Hanh