No support whatsoever! :'-(

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Over the past five years I've had several agencies working with me to resolve various issues, about two counsellors... and I have absolutely nothing right now. To make it the absolute worst it can be the housing officer (the only 'professional' I still see) that is normally contactable by email has gone on a three week holiday and the only person I usually talk to on a weekly basis (just the one friend I have) has his children staying with him, and so wouldn't be meeting for around the same amount of time - these last two are always bound to happen at this time of year, but all of this just so happened to occur right after I got a crucial questionnaire to fill in until the end of the month... and the person I thought was my soulmate just left!

I've been eating fast food non-stop, a few days ago I also ate a whole pack of cheese and a big chocolate bar in one sitting, for some inexplicable reason I was compelled to put my finger in a broken socket (I just cut it), and despite all this a visit to the doctor was utterly futile. At which point I think my only hope now is to bring a rope in with me to the doctor again and threaten to kill myself in front of him if he ignores me again...

I cannot bear my existence. I just cannot. It's so raw and hollow.

Not meaning to belittle you, but pretty much been there, done that got the T shirt.
I've had similar experiences on all counts, and the things that come to mind are this:
you could try a different doctor; sometimes if you are seeing the same doctor all the time they become complacent, and may accept your state of depression as normal. Going to a new doctor will avoid this complacency, as you'll be starting with a clean slate, and you can tell them you are feeling extremely depressed and unable to cope; at best they will listen and help, at worst they may put you on meds that can tide you over until things are more manageable.

As for the questionnaire; you didn't specify what it is or who it is for.
Usually if it's for a government service there is a phone number listed to call if you have any difficulty or need any assistance, if that's the case give them a call, at the very least someone can help reassure you that it is no so crucial or that there is help available if you are struggling.

Another thing seeing as you identify as an Aspie; you are at a loose end, frustrated and depressed, and currently have not enough structure to feel comfortable; this is an opportunity to find something you can concentrate on, some precious "me time" that everyone seems to want more of.
Read a book, or a series of books, listen to music, watch movies, TV, or whatever will get you concentrating on something else.
This will help you to put things back into perspective, and see that your predicament is not the end of the world, or worth killing yourself, for.
You're just having a hard time feeling unsupported and lonely, we all experience that from time to time, and it will pass, just it doesn't feel like it when you're in the thick of it.

By all means post on here and look at other posts, forums, or chats, but remember, you're not alone, we've all been there to varying degrees, and the fact this site exists proves there is life at he other end of such a bout of difficulty.
Chin up.

oh my gosh, benh72 you got a Tee Shirt!?! MY "ex-soulmate" took all my clothes too. You're soooo lucky.


Mootoo It will get better, promise. (Though "better than that" sounds like it could still be quite awful, so I guess my comment isn't so comforting after all.)

So how about I say this: Your situation really sucks total a** right now. You are right. There is no shining a happy light on it until it shifts a bit.
Cry, Sob, Kick your feet until you're exhausted and fall asleep then eat more fast food, until your brain starts to cope with things.
That's what I would do.

Though I can help you with the pain of your soulmate leaving, if you're having pain with that. And I can help you get the questionnaire filled out excellently.
For free (for now). Though donations to help Homeless Aspies are welcome. StabilizingAutism/unsolicited-advice and StabilizingAutism/what-par-can-do

I think you were more compelled to put your finger in the broken socket because you were angry, and hoping to break the socket further -because the damn thing let you down and you probably don't think it's nice to break people.