How is your first impression mechanism?

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Does anybody here have first impressions of people? And have they turned out to be accurate? For me, my first impression response mechanism has just become more attuned in recent years, and I'm 40 now...it was pretty much absent in my 20s.

It seems to be part of evolutionary psychology, that neurotypicals are endowed with the ability to "size up" people within 3 seconds of meeting them, and they actually believe their impressions are bang-on - even though statistics would show that they're nowhere near perfect. Even in "intuitive interviewing" for jobs (e.g. "I know the right candidate as soon as he/she walks through the door!!", which so many hiring managers swear by, was exposed in an article as being only about 57% accurate based on how the candidate turned out in the first X months - not much better than flipping a coin. For (young) women, they claim they can tell who the "creepy" or psycho guys are "right away", but that seldom seems to be true.

I mean, the very fact that so many of us get the response "You don't seem to have Aspergers Syndrome" upon telling somebody early on, proves that their first impression response is faulty. (Unless they're just being nice and polite, and feel uncomfortable discussing it - but that's another topic.)

Despite this, there has been the odd time in my twenties that I got "those vibes", but usually it was based on something more sinister-looking, like someone with tattoos or shaved head with a goatee or something - not the subtle nuances so much, obviously.

The writer Malcolm Gladwell says that in people with autism, "their first impression response is fundamentally disabled". I'm sort of inclined to agree with him. Probably to do with more emphasis on nonverbal signals and "thin-slicing" unspoken elements, which include clothes and grooming habits - so we see somebody who looks a bit sloppy, partially shaved, somewhat wrinkled clothes, and assume that they are disorganized (the "absent-minded professor" stereotype) when in reality they could be the most conscientious, organized and hard-working people.

Which is why, when I see people like this, they tend to bypass my filters; if I'm accompanied by an NT or two in such an interaction, they will invariably make out-of-earshot remarks after like "did you see what he...?" or "did you see his wrinkled tie?" and of course I'll just laugh and agree and go along with it, pretending like I noticed all along else I might just prove their first impressions wrong by proving that I don't have such impressions myself, LOL!!

What people wear has nothing to do with if they are pleasant to be around.

I never see anything negative when I meet new people. Unless somebody else point out to me the person flaw, I will pretty much not see it.

That was an insightful post--especially the part about "you don't seem to have Aspergers".

I do get first impressions (and strong ones), but they rarely tend to be accurate. I'm frequently told that I'm quite naïve, and I often think that a person seems unsafe when instead a mutual friend will tell me that the person is quite nice.

My improvements in first impression responses tend to stem from my conscious effort to disregard those first impressions.

I am so tempted to have giant cheeseburgers tattooed on my ass for just such occasions. "Well whaddaya think THESE are!?" just seems like the perfect response to that.



I did have a truck tire patched once by a garage mechanic who had some very bad kitchen-scratch ink that was all hooded Klansmen and swastikas and such. I might be completely misjudging the guy, but I can't help but think he'd have had 'Xenophobe" tattooed across his back if he had any idea what it meant.

Last edited by Willard on 13 Dec 2013, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Non-existent.

My first impressions of people are meaningless, unless I pick up a vibe in my gut. It's a feeling in my gut that says, "stay away." That gut feeling is infallible, as in papal infallibility infallible ... it's that certain. Whenever I ignore that vibe, I get burned. When I respect that vibe and stay away, I'm safe, and then I find out from other people that my gut feeling was right on target.

Now, do I make a good first impression? Before I worked on social skills, the answer was no. Now that I'm learning to modify my behaviors, I'm doing much better.

I think it's hard even for non-autists to know what a person is like when they meet it for the first time because most people would have developed skills to deceive others so that they give them a good impression.

I can often sense b1tchiness/nastiness/aggression/malice etc in some people as soon as I meet them for the first time. I guess it's a kind of skill that I developed through my life as I have always needed to know who to avoid.

My dad was a marxist and a devout atheist. My IQ is 130+; I've read loads of physics, philosophy, comparative religion; have been arrested, and lost a few fist fights; have a goatee, and ride a bike in full leathers.

No point to this post except your post made I grin, and I'm on my third very large gin.

First impressions are irrelevant to me, if I don't have a reason to get to know someone, I don't bother.

Most people I meet aren't worth the time of day anyway, especially online.

I've noticed that, like they hear asperger's and expect you to walk in licking your palms, twitching and rambling like Rain Man.

I tend not to trust my first impressions but once I know someone for a few months I'd like to think I have a really good idea of who they are. I've had several people apologise to me in the last year or so for seeing drama coming that they didn't want to admit to noticing. They just didn't want to believe that people they thought were charming could be trouble makers so I was proud that I saw them for what they are. I'm 29 now so I feel like I have also gotten better at it in the last ten years.

Haha! I like your style! If you know anything about Dunbar's Number you seem like the type of person who would agree that most people you meet on a day to day basis won't make the grade as friends. I don't get why some people need to instantly attempt to make everyone they meet a friend. I'm not on Facebook or any of those social media sites but I see the massive friend counts people have as being an online version of the same thing. 'Human hoarding' if you will.

Utter nonsense. Just a half-assed excuse to judge people you know nothing about.
I don't believe in first impressions, consequently I don't care if the "skill" is "disabled" in me. I do however feel like I can gauge someone's character or lack thereof. But that is based on evidence, not hairstyle or deamenor or social cues.

I take in more data than a "first impression" allows for.

I wouldn't consider that disabled.

So what about my "gut reaction" mechanism? In my mind? I don't think so. There is a vast neural network in our digestive tract which seems to be able to process information from its surroundings. More studies need to be done, but my experience with what my gut tells me suggests that something very real is going on there. Tony Attwood has mentioned that many Aspies seem to have a "6th sense" about what is happening around them. I think this may be a subset to which he is referring.

I'm similar. I find it hard to judge people.

Some people scare me a little bit though, but I think that's just because I'm quiet and most people are a lot louder than me.