Talking to someone with your eyes closed?

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Is this an Asperger's thing? I notice when my AS girlfriend talks to me, she has her eyes closed most of the time. It doesn't happen ALL the time, but it is very frequent.

Do all people with AS do this?

I know one guy who I'm sure is on the spectrum, he does this.
It sounds like a coping strategy. Have you asked her about it?

I do that only when I feel overwhelmed by the things I see around me, and I need to close my eyes to focus and be able to speak.

Its a sort way of finding the inner calm you need to be able to concentrate on what you are talking a out. Otherwise the world around you becomes overstimulating.

Yes, I do this at times.

Typically, it is when I am overwhelmed by something (as others have said) but I also do it when I am talking to someone I am not entirely comfortable around to help me not be so nervous. People that "stare" when talking (maybe its just normal eye-contact, I don't know) will make me want to do this as well.

As an example, if I am in the kitchen and my friend's dad walks in and starts talking to me, I will unconsciously turn away from him to talk and/or lower my head/close my eyes. It's not that I don't like him (he's a very nice person) but he is a police officer and has a very authoritative personality that makes me uncomfortable at times.

It doesn't sound like the latter would be her reason for doing so, as she is your girlfriend.

I've done it when I was resting. Not the same thing.

I don't have my eyes closed when talking to people, nor do I want to. But if I had earplugs in whilst talking to people (I don't go completely deaf with earplugs in as I can still hear a muffling sound of people's voices), I think I would be able to communicate better for some reason.

Sounds like a good idea. Initially it might be a little uncomfortable, but once you get used to it it might be really comfortable. I will give it a try.

My eyes are not usually closed when talking, just switched off.

I don't actually close my eyes, but I often avert them. I find it very difficult to look at a person I'm talking to, especially if it's something I find difficult to talk about, like feelings and other important stuff.

I feel that this is less socially acceptable than avoiding eye contact, try it, if it works for you,fantastic.

I found this disconcerting, although the guy I knew who did this, did not close his eyes completely. He could not see you but still had a small part of the white of his eye showing. Not a good look.

I don't do it all the time, but have noticed my self doing this somewhat more often lately. When talking to someone I already tend to look at something neutral, something with out much stimulus/texture/color/movement...


Occasionally I will find my self closing my eyes when talking. It seems to help me focus and concentrate on what I'm trying to say, cuts away visual sensory input....and being a visual/conceptual/abstract thinker, it helps me "see" my thoughts or allows me to get out what I want to say a bit easier and more fluid like. (if that makes any sense)

Yes. It's easier to listen if you aren't looking. Juggling listening and looking at the same time can be pretty brain-intensive, so many of us either don't make eye contact, gaze off into the distance, stare at our hands, or even close our eyes. It's not a sign of inattention; it's a sign that we're trying to concentrate on what you're saying. Without the visual input to distract us we can often get more information from tone of voice and the meanings of the words being used. Think of it as being a little like closing your eyes so that you can better listen to a complex piece of music.

By the way, you'll find some of us doing the opposite: Looking without listening. In a noisy room, or if we're capable of tuning out auditory input (some can, some can't), we might just look at the person and track the rhythm of their voice and movements. Some of us are rather good at doing this--just not while listening to words. Of course, many of us are very bad at body language no matter how much we concentrate on it, but a significant subgroup of autistics have their chief problem not with non-verbal communication but with using non-verbal communication at the same time as verbal communication. I think this may be why I am so good at "reading" the body language of cats: Without a spoken language to worry about, I am not distracted by noises when I try to understand what a cat is thinking. A cat's language is all about movement and posture, more about mood and attention than about symbolic meaning. Human body language is trickier, but it's the same principle. Unfortunately the body-language information you get from just watching humans is rather vague, so most of the time I find that ignoring the visuals and listening to the words gets me the best information.

I used to work for a woman that did this. She also ended every conversation with "But...uhm...", like she was going to add something to her previous thought, only she never got around to it. That was as far as it went. I don't know if she was Aspie or not but, she seemed strange to me.

I close my eyes sometimes. Usually when very overwhelmed, but still making the effort to communicate. It seems to block out other stimuli so that I can better use what resources I DO have to communicate, instead of focusing on other things. Sometimes I will talk with my eyes closed or with my head in my hands, also, if it is a very important or intense conversation. Again, it's a focus thing.

It's a strong possibility that your girlfriend may be uncomfortable with eye contact (many people with AS are) and will close her eyes to lessen the discomfort. If this looks weird to others, suggest that she looks at your mouth or eyebrows. It gives the same effect as eye contact but with less of the intensity for her.