I want to flee

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I can't even articulate it. The words don't come out.

Please ask questions to help bring it out.

Is something specific overwhelming you, or is it a cascade of different things? Can you try writing a random sentence to see if it flows from there?

A cascade of things. I have a messy, cluttered house and professional organizers cost lots of money.

Is there one thing you can put to rights immediately? Ignore everything except for the single item.

Nope. They all represent intractable problems, with the exception of one, which I can't control.

If there are no immediate solutions or actions you can take, then what about a brief distraction? Something to focus on away from the clamor. Not as avoidance, but just until you feel calmer.

Can you make a list of things that are causing you annoyance or distress?

my house is messy too.....I use flylady it seems to circumvent my executive dysfunction and works fairly well.

I've been working on it.

Are people in your life annoying you, or placing too much stress or expectation on you?

I guess I have to throw out all my stuff. I wouldn't be able to organize it in a million years. I feel so overwhelmed by it. Still, it's my Japanese-language stuff and I'd feel like I'd be throwing away a part of me by doing that.

If it helps, I always find looking at end goals as feeling insurmountable. If I can consistently take positive steps towards them, then I feel better.

Yes. I got Dish Network, forgetting to talk to my landlord first, and apparently unlike last time I stayed in that complex, they are now banned. They put screws in the building and she now says I'm liable for the screws.

She also told me I must clean up my apartment, whatever that means. To me, that means get ridding of everything except a bed and kitchen stuff.

You don't have to throw everything out. Think "visually organize". Create open areas in each room for the eyes to rest on. File cabinets or a basket system do wonders.

I never seem to do it. I don't have much patience beyond a limited time. I don't know wat stops me, though.

Set a timer, right now if you can. Maybe for ten minutes. For ten minutes, just start sorting one area. After time is up, you can keep going if you get into it. If not, just step out of the room.
If you come back and look after a break, you might be surprised what you accomplished. Then repeat....
Inertia sucks, and cleaning is boring but important. Putting on music really helps me, too.