jamieevren1210 wrote:
Always.
The loneliest feeling is when you are perceived to be "just a little aloof and eccentric", have a few so called "friends" but only you yourself know how shallow these relationships are, and how unbreakable the glass wall is.
I've only made two "real" connections in real life. A guy and a girl. The girl is bipolar, the guy has ADHD. I have Asperger's and maybe we should form a band or something, we're all musical. (Just an afterthought)
I am in a similar situation. I always had a few casual friends in college, but I don't think they often realized that they were my
only friends. On a few occasions, someone would as me, "So who do you hang out with when you are not with us?" Those were awkward situations. Since I graduated from college a year ago, I have no social life outside of my immediate family, except for sometimes talking to women 10+ years older than me at church. The only person I have ever really felt connected with was an exchange student in my dorm in college who I am pretty sure had ADHD.
Sometimes I think maybe I could make closer friends if I were not as avoidant, but don't know if they would be "real" friends even then. I feel like I have to put on an act to make friends, but I can only keep the act on for so long, and I am afraid to let my real self show when other people are around because I am so weird on the inside. I can't really get close to people because, in the process of making friends, I have to pretend to be something different than what I am.
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Your Aspie score: 120 of 200 ; Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 90 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
Self-DX: Extreme Introvert, possibly with ADHD-Primarily Inattentive; Official DX: Generalized Anxiety Disorder