Don't get much respect from NTs!

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Do you find that even when you try and be polite to NTs in day to day life (such as hold doors open for people or say thank you) they still treat you with not much respect?


Why is this? This seems to be a problem that I am encountering for the last 3 or 4 years but people used to like me more when I was 16-18 years old. Now I am 23 and I am just not very likeable.

I find this too. It makes me feel self-conscious, as though I've become unapproachable or something, even though my NT boyfriend seems to think I am lovely. And I first met him when stepping on a bus.

Everywhere I read about ''how to appear more approachable'' it always says the same thing; ''make eye contact, smile at people, just a small smile can go a long way''. I'm like, ''yes, I've tried that multiple times, didn't work, now I'm on to stage two!!''

I always dress presentably so I know it's not to do with that, and I always try to make eye contact and give people a friendly smile, not a big grin and I don't stare because I'm not a starey type. And I just get a funny stare back. It doesn't just happen with one person who might be ''having a bad day'' (as they always say ), it happens with everyone I pass, so something must be wrong with me. I'd thought people would speak regardless of how shy I may look. It's just polite. You'd think NTs would know better.

I also get people walking into me, turfing me off of benches, all of that sort of thing. Makes me sick.

Sorry I didn't have much helpful advice, but I can relate to you 100 percent. It is frustrating when you are no different to anyone else according to a stranger and yet people still seem to know they can walk all over you. It's like a stranger knows you when they don't, kind of thing.

There doesn't seem to be any guidelines or rules in society that requires any single person to be nice to you. People do what they want to do and go about their day that way. I would be more insulted if a good friend of mine just ditched a conversation with me to go have a long talk with someone else. I would be further insulted if they had the nerve to ask me later on where I went when they do that to me.

You know, there's a famous song by the band Blink-182 that goes "nobody likes you when you're 23" (What's My Age Again???)

Well I used to get more respect when I was in my teens (by adults in public, not by other teenagers), but I think that was because I didn't think of it so much back then. Now I've become too aware of myself and so am taking more notice of what others are thinking and doing and it is emotionally affecting me more than it should.

I completely understand how you mean with the age thing. I have found over time that people have become less approachable, which I think is to do with age group. For example I've spent a lot of time on the internet, various chat sites etc, and these days it seems most people aren't bothered if they talk to you or not, but bearing in mind i'm 26 now so the age group is a lot different. At 16.. yeah I had plenty of people I talked to online and they seemed to have time for me more. But if you consider most adults will have a job and other responsibilities that makes sense.

I'm a little curious what you mean about people not respecting you. How do you mean? Do people not have manners, or do they just treat you different? Also, I'm curious about wether or not those people who you feel don't respect you know you're autistic or not NT. And are they people you know or just random strangers?

Joe90:
Recently I have come to believe that I have Aspergers and had a few days where I worried about this. But I realise that with or without a diagnosis I won't be a different person than I am now. But I think that awareness of myself I have now is good and it lets me make some sense of things, and in time maybe work at things. Maybe you should just allow yourself to relax about things and not let it get into your head or become like a complex. Or as people say, just chill

I had to edit this after posting in case anyone wondered (oops)!