Don't really know where to ask...?

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This is something I'd really like to ask an adult but since I am too young to enter the adult forum I thought I'd stick it here instead. I have recently gone through the strangest thing. My special interest seems to be wavering in a very strange way and, as you can probably imagine, this is freaking me out. I have explained this in more detail in both the adolescent forum and the haven if you want to know more or might have any advice!
The main point of my question comes as how do you learn not to have your interest completely take over who you are, at the moment it's all I can ever think about and it influences my style my favourite foods, colours, artwork, pets names and most obviously my laptops history. I have heard that most adults supress their interests enough that they are more themselves. I read that our interests give out the same endorphins as falling in love- I know this means it is gonna be a lot harder than pressing a button but how do you do it? Since my interest has been fluctuating I have found I don't really know who I am without one- I form know what to do and I want to gain some Internet back in my favourite activities. Please help I'd really appreciate it a lot!!

I think that you are experiencing questions many teenagers would feel, about identity and how to spend their time, and how to socialize while remaining true to self.

At twice your age, I still struggle with the question of who I am, what do I want, and what is really me and not just something that I am doing or liking to please someone else. So you are at an advantage to already be aware of these questions.

But I think you don't need to have so much anxiety or worry about them. If you are using our time for reasonably healthy activities, and then you decide to change to something else, you are free to do that. There was a time that I was completely obsessed with the Beatles. I still enjoy them immensely but everything I do is not based around it. It lasted for several years and then my interests expanded and changed, and that is okay.

Maybe it would help you to write an inventory of things you know are part of your self, your likes and things that comfort you and things you would like to do and dream of doing. So that you can see that you have a core person who is stable underneath the transitions between special interests. For example, maybe you are a person who is very organized, or very musical, or very good with animals. This would be something that you could keep being whether you are especially immersed in this game or show or that one.

I hope that makes some sense. Feel better

PixieXW, I agree with you about special interests being like falling in love. When I am engaged in my special interests, I feel at peace, content, in the right place. Whole.

But my special interests have changed over time. My special interest - especially from about 2000 to 2009 - was a particular language. Then in 2009 I started to suspect that I was on the spectrum (I am now diagnosed) and so ASD rapidly became my special interest: I wanted to read about it and think about it all the time. I still like my old special interest, but no longer search much for more books, etc. It has gone from being my one and only beloved to being a good friend.

I am in my 50s and I don't really suppress my interests. I do hide them from most other people, because they (NTs) would find my interests weird (I found that out when I was a teenager). But I still spend lots of time pursuing them in private.

Sometimes for periods of time I lose all motivation for anything else besides my special interest , including school , work, becoming independent, things I need to maintain motivation for.

I was thinking recently that they should do a study to see what parts of our brain are activated when we engage in special interests......that's really interesting that it's the same as falling in love. I thought it might be the same as normal people's reactions to certain other people. It definitely feels that way.....like it's something you need/can't live without/main reason for living, main source of motivation, think about it all the time etc.