Melt downs: causes/downsides/"symptoms" etc

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I have meltdowns. Here are few examples, the triggers and how I delt with each one. I'm not saying I handle things in the best way, just the way I delt with it at that time.

1) Co-worker X acting like a jerk for 3 days straight, my stress level due to a project reaching an all time high. Finally I reached critical mass, and gave the co-worker a verbal lashing at a volume that made the entire section of the floor stop and duck for cover. I went and washed my face and cooled off, and prompted apologized to the co-worker who said he understood and that there were no hard feelings. The professional relationship between he and was undamaged.

2) Stood in line at the grocery store waiting to check out. The combination of the large volume of people, the cashier and the cusomter checking out ahead of me not being very efficent. After standing there for 20 mins, I couldn't handle it any longer, I left everything I was going to buy right there and went out to my car and went into a full meltdown then went home. Wife wasn't happy about having to go to the store, but she understands me to know that it had to be pretty bad.

3) Visiting my grandparents so they could spend time with my son. To many people with to many conversations going on, I just shutdown completely. Then I get frustrated that I am "outside" of all coversations. I have to excuse myself after an hour-ish so I dont have a meltdown.

That's a good reply I think

The trouble comes when I need that kind of "space" but to get it I must not have access to those things that give the contact, like facebook/skype etc.. because if I don't remove/lock accounts I'll carry on using those things as a matter of habbit or boredom and result in me not getting that space. Later when I feel more social I often just open it back up again (eventhough I intended not to at the time of locking it). Last time I did this I noticed now that people had either blocked or removed me (as they were missing from my lists). In most cases I do something like that it's not that I'm annoyed with a particular person but I didn't really leave anyone with an explanation of it.

When I had past difficulties I had no solid reason to think I have Aspergers or anything like it so I didn't think of it as being some kind of urge related to a problem I have.. more a kind of "Ok I'm seriously hacked of with everything gotta get away from all this and fast" or other similar reason.

You've made a great suggestion there because it seems like if people know I might drop off the map from time to time out of "space" type issues that's good. The only question left is should I or can I tell everyone the reasons why. Like in some of the places I hang out I wouldn't want a whole group of people knowing as it could result in stiring. By extension that I cannot tell some people from those places because they might not respect that it's not a subject for gossip. But I can certainly do that on a case by case basis though for more trusted friends and I think that's helpful.

I think that you can tell people in a way that they will respect you. I'm sorry, I don't know what stiring means so you will have to explain what that is to me. If it's a term that is used on facebook, I don't use facebook so I am not familiar with it. But if I were you I might say something like this:

"Dear friends, I have recently found out that I have Asperger's Syndrome. This is something that is very difficult for me and I really appreciate all of your support and respect. There are many challenges with this condition and one of them is the difficulty in processing certain types of sensory input. Sometimes it can be overwhelming for me and it is very important and helpful to me if I am able to spend time away from the computer and allow myself time alone to be able to get through these times. I am sorry that when I have felt the need to do this in the past, not knowing that I had Asperger's made it even more difficult and I have left and closed my accounts without explaining my sudden absence and unfortunately when I came back some of my friends had unfriended me. I hope you will forgive me if I caused anyone any hurt feelings by this. I never meant to abandon or neglect anyone. I simply needed time and space to get through these challenges.

The best way for me to get through these times is to close the accounts so that I can stay off the computer and completely focus on my health. But as soon as I am able I would always like to come back and catch up with all of you again. Please understand that I never have a desire to end my friendships here. It is just very important for me to be able to spend the time away for awhile to be able to focus and get through these challenges. I hope that you will all remain my friends and always welcome me back when I am able to come back. I may have to do this often but I hope that it will never be a reason to lose a friend. In order to not leave abruptly I will always post a message letting you all know whenever I need to take some time. Thank you."

I don't know if these would be your exact words but at least you can have an idea of what might be a good way to let people know what is going on with you. I think if you present it something like that people will understand and they will be very compassionate and if they are truly your friends and care about you they will help you and respect you. I don't think that presenting it like this will make you a target for gossip or people being mean. It is very honest and very humble and I think people will completely respect that. If they don't, they are not worthy of being your friend.

I hope this helps

I realized something new about my meltdowns since I had a pretty big one earlier today. Since I have been on the forum I have become much more aware of how my mind is functioning and I am learning to notice and identify new things about it. But today I had a huge system overload after a conversation with someone. It really hit me how I had an avalanche of emotions coming from different events that ranged over a period of time. It feels like because my thoughts and sense of time continuum are not always linear, I am experiencing all of these emotions as if they are fresh and raw. But the intensity of these emotions was just massive as if they were magnified 100% and they just took over my mind and I could not control or stop the onslaught. It lasted over an hour and I was crying and screaming. I held my stuffed animal and I was able to rock and calm myself down. I had a migraine for a bit of time afterwards and it took a few hours for that to pass but now I am drained and exhausted. I think that one big thing for me in my meltdowns is the amount of different emotions that can come and their intensity. It is very strong and I wonder if any of you also feel complex sets of emotions or just one or two at a time when you have meltdowns.

Stiring as in stiring up trouble.. a thing we say in the UK. I could say something like that but as for wording I prefer to keep i short even if it means having a whole conversation about it. They'll get I'm sure

Sorry you had troubles, hope it's better now.

Not sure about the other thing with the multiple emotions. I think fellas tend to have just less emotions at once though as a rule.

Thank you for explaining that word to me. I think that if people want to cause trouble they will find a way to do it no matter what we do or don't do. I would try not to worry about that too much. I wish those people would just get a life and stop doing that but we can't really control that I guess.

You will find the right words to use for how you want to communicate your issue with your friends. I was glad to give you and example and you can take from it whatever you wish to help you write something that will express your needs perfectly. I do get long winded sometimes! ) But I am glad to be able to help.

And I am feeling better, Thank you so much for your kind words.

i have had some major meltdowns, but the ones that i freaquently encautered where in the past. Often at work, it just gents to much for me. To many people, to much to do, deadlines, social life at work, smalltalk. it all results in inner stress, and if the enviroment also gives me sensory overload from sounds, sight and touch(crowded) it worsence the whole meltdown experience. I usually almost fell like im about to burst. like a fight or flight situation, and i always chose flight. I lock my self into the nearest bathroom and just crye...to empthy my self of all the feelings and chaotic thoughts.
then for the rest of the day im a emotionaly wreck. and totally drained