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momentsforeverfaded
Butterfly
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17 Jul 2013, 4:52 pm

Hi Guys.
I have a question about nonverbal cues:
do you don't UNDERSTAND nonverbal cues or do you don't know what to RESPOND/ANSWER to nonverbal cues?

I think I get it right with nonverbal cues. My problem is just that I'm just not 100% sure if my interpretation is right so I am not confident in what to respond/answer to nonverbal cues/between the lines ideas.

and you?



alecazam3567
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17 Jul 2013, 5:20 pm

I can definitely understand them, but for me the problem is performing them myself. I can read people like books, but I cannot write my own book, if you will. I have little to no facial expression or physical gestures. But when I do make a gesture, it is usually habitual and used to convey emotion, like little accents in the conversation.

People usually tell me I am emotionless since my face does not movie much :P



GregCav
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17 Jul 2013, 5:32 pm

I can read the obvious facial expressions.

But I see a lot of subtle expressions that I don't understand what's happening.
I also suspect there are a lot of non-facial, nonverbal cues that I definitely don't see. I believe this because I get feedback later on that I was rude or being controlling ect. (I sure didn’t expect that, I must have missed something).



chris5000
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17 Jul 2013, 5:40 pm

I am very bad at it



elsing
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17 Jul 2013, 5:55 pm

I picking up more now I know I'm supposed to look at people. Still miss most of everything and highly tuned perhaps over tuned to tone of voice or any gestures that involve sound.


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Jayo
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17 Jul 2013, 6:56 pm

When I was in my late teens /early 20s, I would tend to miss them more unless they were really obvious. With time and practice, I noticed them a lot more, but still found ambiguity in them i.e. "Okaayyyy...I know this is not good, and this person doesn't really mean what they say, but they could either mean they want me to do A, or do B, or leave them alone..." - and with my processing speed for these scenarios, it's a toss-up, sometimes I get it right, sometimes partially right, sometimes totally wrong.

As long as it's something you have to process to some extent in the conscious realm, and not entirely subconscious, it will be subject to error.



auntblabby
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17 Jul 2013, 7:03 pm

part of the reason i'm a hermit is because I just can't seem to get the non-verbal language thing, in reception as well as in transmission. this one flaw puts me in the "uncanny valley" and makes people less than comfortable around me.



nebrets
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17 Jul 2013, 10:10 pm

I do not perceive most non-verbal cues. I hear some changes in vocal tone, and some facial expressions, but very few. This means I have trouble making trustworthy judgments about if a person is safe or not.

I do give off non-verbal cues, but they are not always appropriate to the situation because I am very unaware of what cues I am giving off.


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Scia
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17 Jul 2013, 11:08 pm

A bit of both. Assuming I can pick up on a non-verbal cue, I may not know how to respond to it. (This is also assuming I notice the cue AND understand what it means.) Sometimes it can be obvious that someone's making a non-verbal cue, especially when making large gestures, but not always.



FishStickNick
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18 Jul 2013, 2:27 am

I seem to be generally OK with recognizing nonverbal cues, though I have a few weak spots (timing in conversations, picking up on rhetorical questions, etc...). Transmitting nonverbal cues appropriately seems to be more problematic for me. Almost no eye contact, few gestures, relatively flat facial expressions. My sister has commented that I can be hard to read.



vanhalenkurtz
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18 Jul 2013, 3:10 am

Non-verbal cues are a mixed bag because NTs are often exaggerating or dissembling. All human interaction should be in writing, notarized. Well, I guess that's already under way.


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Joe90
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18 Jul 2013, 4:20 am

Neither. I am able to recognise non-verbal cues but sometimes I can't always be bothered to react to them. It's what a lot of people do.

So if I can tell that somebody doesn't want me with them through their body language, I (same rule applies to everyone) have only got two choices; carry on being with them because you don't want to come away, or come away from them. I normally ''obey'' what they want but sometimes I don't. I sometimes become clingy and a bit needy. But as I've got older I have learnt not to be so much.


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lostinlove
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18 Jul 2013, 5:05 am

GregCav wrote:
I can read the obvious facial expressions.

But I see a lot of subtle expressions that I don't understand what's happening.
I also suspect there are a lot of non-facial, nonverbal cues that I definitely don't see. I believe this because I get feedback later on that I was rude or being controlling ect. (I sure didn’t expect that, I must have missed something).

This is what it is like for me. When I look back on a conversation I feel like there is a missing part that I can not access for some reason. Based on other people's reactions I conclude that I definitely must be missing something.



Sheerboredom
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18 Jul 2013, 5:11 am

I just outright ignore them, if I offend you tough luck. I do fully understand them though, how to read them and the proper response.


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Yngway
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18 Jul 2013, 5:52 am

I can read the obvious ones. When I see a not obvious, sometimes I don't know what to do, most times I just don't see it.

Sometimes I miss the obvious too because I'm distracted with something else.