Dealing with Mutism

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This happens to be whenever I'm in public and I'm sure most of you had this kind of experience. Everytime I'm out in public whether going to the store or when I had classes, a part of my brain tends to react whenever I see a human face and I automatically become mute, and this is especially true whenever they are strangers. It usually is not the case when I'm around people that I know but it is kind of a bad feeling when neurotypicals get in my face especially the over talkative ones and my brain goes on the defense. As an adult it is becoming rare but as a child it was pretty prevalent.

I especially have problems with mutism when I sense aggression on the part of the other person. It makes it very difficult to work through an argument with my spouse; and in classes I would start to say something and then freeze, and my classmates thought I was inept.

Once, when I was working in an art shop, a woman came to me with a question. She spoke English with a very thick French accent, and I asked her to repeat the question. This irritated her, and she repeated what she had said, more loudly and impatiently than before. I still couldn't understand, but at this point my mutism kicked in, and I just stared at her. She asked me if I was stupid, and at that point I started humming and stimming because I could feel a meltdown coming, and she shouted at at me that I was a useless, stupid f**ing autistic, and left the shop. Strange to think that was the only thing she said which was really clear to me...

I will occasionally freeze up, even when speaking with people whom I really trust and around whom I am comfortable, and I just have to close my eyes and wait, even if I am mid-sentence. I don't know what triggers those, except that it seems to happen if I cannot retrieve the right word for the information which I am trying to convey.

Grab notebook and start writing to communicate if need be. This doesn't really have 'triggers' for me and can happen at any time. Sometimes I try to push it out and most people laugh in my face.

Naturalist, I'm sorry that lady was so rude and belligerent. She needs to understand that with an accent people may simply not understand her right away. And for her to verbally attack you to the point of a personal attack is way out of line.

I know businesses do this where they have one employee watching the store, sometimes with a visible security camera which helps, but I still don't like the practice. And really, if a business can't afford more than one employee, it may not be a viable business, at least as far as having a fixed location.

I have a lot of problems with this too, and I'm about to reapply for teacher training so am trying to find ways to deal with it because it happens in front of a class or in front of other adults when I'm nervous. I'm doing a lot of reading about mindfulness atm which is really interesting and is helping with other forms of anxiety so it might be useful- it's a lot about being 'in the moment' and concentrating on breathing and the senses. I count as well (prime numbers, times tables etc, whatever keeps my brain occupied) or listen to music I like in my head and that seems to help too.

I have selective mutism when in a social situation with lots of people I don't know. This is why I don't think joining clubs will help me to make friends really. I went to a group thing last year, and was going twice a week for nine months, but I didn't make any friends. I was so shy I just sat at the table colouring in pictures (it was an arts and crafts group), only listening to conversations of some of the others who were the only ones in the room talking because they were the most loudest. Actually I think they were those narcissist type. They were nice but not really the type I'll hang out with. They were a bit geeky, but sounded like they were intellectually slow at the same time. And then there were some shy people who were too shy to approach me and I was too shy to approach them. We said a few words to each other but didn't become friends really. Otherwise most of the time I was mute, unless it was absolutely necessary for me to speak.

I totally understand this. I hate unexpectedly getting talked to. Then I just go blank. Sometimes I wonder if this is part of an auditory processing disorder. Sometimes it takes me a couple of beats after they stop talking to realise what the other person has said and then I have to think of a response, then too much time has passed and then I make an unconcious decision to just not answer as the silence has been too long anyway. It's really weird. When I look back and think about what they asked I wonder why I didn't respond.

I am more eloquent when I write, or when I can prepare what to say. I spend hours thinking about what I can say in response to questions I am likely to be asked. But often I can't answer when asked. Especially if it's not something I have thought about in advance. Is that mustism?

I am ok with people I trust. I try and explain to close friends and they say they can't understand what I'm talking about because I'm fine with them. They think I'm making it up.

I asked someone I know how he met his wife and he said they met at a party and that was that. I don't understand that. I can't make friends with someone just meeting them once. People I am friends with now have all stemmed from this one friend I had as a teenager and I met one through the other because I would see them repeatedly and over time get used to them because they would hang around with people I knew already. Eventually I feel safe enough to hold a conversation with them.

I have always had trouble with this and it seems like lately it is happening more and more often. It's getting particularly bad whenever I have to interact with one of my professors for a project I'm working on.

I do have mutism a lot and always had before, in fact in kindergarden and school up to 15 years I was not talking to people at all (but had speech-ability) and then was selectively speaking to people, and I got kicked out of education due to it several times, and I still have it, but now I help with writing, but this happened after I got diagnosed and learned about it all.
When I mute I become 100% non-verbal, and I do not have access to thinking-process anymore and verbalizing, as I need thinking-process to verbalize.
This can also interfere with writing as well, but then it is severe.
It can last half an hour, a couple hours, a day or several days.

Would zen techniques possibly help, of gently winding back to speech?

I am, but if you are friend or family, I'll talk to you.