Are You Aware Of Your Oral Social Mistakes?

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It was a relief for me to learn that my frequent verbal faux pas were a result of being autistic. In other words, you can usually count on me to say the wrong thing in a social setting. I'd either be too blunt, hurt someone's feelings, insult somebody or just plain rub someone the wrong way. I have noticed my oral transgressions sometimes but it was often too late.

Indeed, I wasn't always aware of my linguistic missteps and, in the end, cost be valuable friendships and probably relationships. It's probably my biggest autistic trait. So now I ask:

Are you aware when you've made a social mistake? Do you feel guilty afterwards? Or do you think you always tend to say the right things in social settings?

I'm usually completely unaware of saying / doing anything wrong in social settings, and very rarely does anyone tell me that I have.

it really depdns..sometimes i dont understand it even when it's explained, sometimes icatch myself doing things, and sometimes, ill be perfectly polite and people will be pricks to me, and then blame me.

I usually know when I've said something really dumb in a conversation and I feel awful about it. I remember it for years and decades afterwards - even things I said at school over thirty years ago! Such incidents flash back in my memory all the time with white-hot, toe-curling embarassment.

I don't often say anything actually rude; my mistakes tend to be just jokes that fall flat or references to geeky things or my special interests that other people don't get.

I've tried really hard to improve my conversation skills but I still put my foot in it from time to time.

I'm not aware of them unless someone tells me I've said something wrong.

I don't make oral social mistakes.

Yes, always immediately after. I say or do something, then afterwards something tells me that I shouldn't have said/done that, and then I start dwelling on it for days.

I know I can lecture on and on about something, which I've found to be a bother to others (my sister and father especially in the past); I've learnt to keep it to myself mostly.

I try to not say anything in order to prevent myself from saying something out-of-context.

I'm aware of it for the most part. Sometimes I guess I'm not cause I say things that get a strong negative reaction when I don't feel I really said anything wrong. I feel like there is a double standard cause many NT's say some pretty awful s**t a lot worse than me, and in generally disturbing ways and it's generally accepted.

I think what you are "allowed" to say has more to do with your standings within a group, cause I refuse to believe I'm more offensive than most people.

I just think you can get away with more if people like you. If they don't like or respect you, pretty much everything you say and do is a problem, and blown way out of proportion by NT's. Plain and simple

Yes, even moreso than about six years ago. I try to tread carefully, although I am only human, and once in a while, something wrong will happen.

Unless somebody tells me, or unless it was a big mistake (like insulting somebody), I am never sure whether or not I made a social mistake. Sometimes I think I did when I really didn't, and other times my perception is accurate. I can never be quite sure of what I am doing when I am talking to others, and it's often rude and intrusive to ask outright whether I'm socializing properly, so as a result I tend to be somewhat paranoid about it. Thanks, social anxiety + autism!

I think (but don't know for sure usually) that most of my social mistakes are what I DON'T do or say, or not having the right expression on my face-all related to the NT give and take of chatter and sympathetic or happy facial expressions. I'm trying to take more time with light chatting and brief regular contact with neighbors and friends. One of my neighbors is a very good role model and I try to imitate her. When I say something that may be interpreted as rude and/or selfish, I often know it, or think I know it, but am so paranoid from decades of watching people grow distant from me and am I'm never sure about interpreting their behavior. So rarely (and this applies to NTs too) do we know what other people are really thinking and feeling.

And I'm so glad to everyone for talking about this-thanks! What a relief it is to hear about your experiences.