why don't mild aspie call themselves nt

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if a person is mild asperger and have the ability to socialize,
make friends,get married,raise a family,have a good paying job.

why don't they just call themselves nt's

Because they're not.

Being able doesn't mean there's no extra difficulty. :P

<--- Mild aspie? Yes.
<--- Ability to socialize? No.
<--- Make friends? No.
<--- Married? No.
<--- Raise a family? No.
<--- Have a good paying job? Yes, but it's torture everyday. It's definitely an anti-aspie job.

to be more clear:mild aspie who are very social,can make friends,are married,have a family,
why don't they just call themselves nt.

I have mild enough autism that you have to be familiar with it to really recognize it for what it is... that does not; however, make me NT. On the rare occasions that I do socialize, I'm so exhausted that I probably will not leave the apartment the next day if I can get away with it. I have two friends that I have painstakingly worked to keep (and who are determined not to give up on me). I have never been romantically involved with another person and probably never will thanks to problems with touch... and I am currently pursuing a graduate degree, which was partially influenced by the fact that I didn't receive a single offer (or even a rejection letter) from the companies that I interviewed with at the end of my Bachelor's degree.

Because they don't deserve to be marginalized and denied community for not being as severe as others - or as you.

well,there some aspie(on this site)that have a regular social life,have a good amount friends,are married,I don't
understand why they call themselves asperger,where it doesn't seem have any effect on their lives.

I have autism and am married. It's not an impossible thing to do. The Asperger's people you envy probably don't feel they have an easy time either.

Oh, I get the point I think -- you mean that why mild autistics who are able to function quite normally call themselves autistics to the outside world, as not doing so can prevent discrimination etc...
Well... I'd say, because it's still extra hard to be social and the like, and if the person manifesting himself as an NT makes some f**kup in a social situation, people will be less tolerant towards him. I mean, yea, mild autism/asperger's is not easy to see on first sight... but for prolonged relationships with people it really is a good thing to point it out because it's still a very real thing.

Having it easier does not mean having it easy.

I believe I fall into this category. I'm high functioning (the exectuive functioning kind). Have a job in engineering, have friends and like to socialise. And up until last year, I thought I was NT.

But I'm not NT for the following reasons.

Crowds stress me, I have to leave.
I don't like gossip or small talk. (I like people, not the small talk).
I get axiety at home or anywhere else. It sometimes overwhelms me to the point of shut down.
If I get angry, which is rare, I cant total lose myself and my awareness. It scares me.
I have visual sensitivites.
I have audio sensitivites, and I'm largely tone deaf.
All sound is equal, I can't isolate a single voice from a crowd.
I take words litteraly.
I can't read people.
My mind gets confused easily.

So; your list of why-not's is from a social perspecitve. But there is a lot more to Aspergers than just social. I am not NT.

What I meant to say with that post is that, while it may not be obvious to people outside of their personal lives that it effects them, that doesn't mean that it doesn't have significant impacts on their lives.

but how are aspie who can make friends,have a social life,married
any difference from the typical nt person.

It affects yours mind and therefore will also affect your life, sometimes even when you are not aware.

Just because you have all those things doesn't mean you don't struggle, you cannot measure how hard it is for them by only judging appearances.

Your comparison is like telling a person who has a prosthetic leg to call himself not being disabled, because he does not use a wheelchair.

Last edited by Jonov on 02 Aug 2013, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

in a nutshell, it is that these gifted aspies are able to pass as NT for the following reasons [IOW they have certain advantages] -

*good luck in having been raised in a fortunate early environment
*gifted level intelligence
*quasi-savant skills that enable them to make enough money and get enough professional respect to elevate themselves socially

take away any of those advantages, and they would likely no longer pass for NT.