is bullying inevitable?

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As a parent of two spectrum kids, one of the most discouraging things I read about is the bullying that is often directed towards autistic children. Is this bullying inevitable?

My twin girls are only four and their autism is fairly mild. I do intend to enroll them in social skills classes, etc. I would consider an alternative to public school for them if that might make a difference, but I'd like to believe that I live in an autism-aware community (Wake County, NC - home of TEACCH), with good inclusion programs, and that simple awareness of autistics and the cross exposure between the autistics and the NT kids would lead to some degree of desensitization, and perhaps, acceptance.

Anyway, what should I do? What sorts of things would have helped those of you who were bullied? How about private schools with small classes?

Do girls have it any easier than boys? Worse? The same?

I would also like to hear from anyone who wasn't bullied.

Thanks!

I would say I was not bullied by kids much at school. Not sure why. Even though I was painfully shy I think I was popular. In first grade I was elected to be the president of the class. I had bad dyspraxia and I was certainily the last pick on teams in PE.
I did infact with no witnesses around beat up the toughest bully up in my class. A girl ounce said "You could be popular if you wanted to be" So I guess I had likable qualities. Later at 13 I got
in trouble with the police and I guess students begain thinking I was perhaps dangerous and nobody ever bothered me after that.

I took 3 types of martial arts, although I was the one outside the head teachers office just for defending myself coz they friends are backing them up and that... I was bullied a bit until I showed I will defend myself - problem I see in (most)autism people is they do not fight with force they more of a defending force using the other persons strength against them... Don't know what it's like for Girls... Or USA fighting... Don’t know how much the schools have changed mainly saw name calling on females but bet more was going on in the toilets, probably why their where locked and you had to ask for the key…

Normally been aware of the signs of your child is been bullied is more likely a good place to be at, I think that would of helped allot, I was just seen as a shy guy left to do his own little things, also my mother thought I was just going through a phase, think the martial art classes I was going to should of been a little bit of a sign…

It probably isn't what you want to here, but i was immensely bullied. However, i was not diagnosed until two years ago, so the first 14 years of my life i had no reason other than that i was weird. That and the fact that i was working class and went to a really bad public school where the teachers did as much of the bullying as the kids, i would say i was just unlucky in that prospective. It probably doesn't happen as often as you think. But, bullying is inevitable no matter who you are. If you are fat, ginger, wear glasses, whatever, kids will bully. It probably will happen one way or another. Just try and make sure your kids understand what to do, to only be with those who don't bully to them, and above all else, make sure that they report any bullying done to them.

I bet it IS less likely with girls though!

Steve

I was horrendously bullied too.

Bullying is NOT inevitable.

It does require you to take special care making sure your kids tell yu whats happening and that they dont have to accept bullying.

Yes it is true that people with ASD's may seem easier targets than some kids, but bullying requires someone to get bullied and the fact that the bully can get away with it.

If the kids tell you when they have problems the bullys wont get away with it and minor trouble can be prevented from blowing up into long term damaging bullying.

Most non ASD kids get bullied at some stage.

It's also common for us females to have been bullied in school. For me, the bullying was more name-calling and exclusion instead of physical bullying. For me, the main reason why I was bullied was that I wore glasses to fix a strabismus in my left eye, but stopped wearing them when I was 12 because the doctor decided it wasn't as noticeable anymore. The bullying went on until my family moved and I started attending other schools where I wasn't the main target of bullies. I do wear glasses now, but that's because like most of my family, I need them to drive and to see things in the distance.

I think that most children, AS or NT alike face some form of bullying in school, and that it's just a part of life. ASD children often face more severe bullying than their NT classmates, as in many cases, the entire class is in on the bullying, while with NT children, it may be just one bully they deal with.

Bullying is likely but not inevitable and as others have said it can be stopped. The alterative school sounds like a great idea I was bullied very badly in mainstream school.

As children it can be difficult, but here's a story about a recent event:

I worked in a labor environment, as blue collar as it comes, with hardly anyone having secondary education, if they made it through high school at all. The guys were brutal to one another, and maintained a level of ignorance that's tough to top. There was a guy with obvious AS traits (I hadn't even heard about AS at the time, but knowing what I now know, and looking back at him, it isn't a stretch to think it) who had a habit of annoying everybody there. Now, there were fights between guys often, there wasn't much paitence or understanding. The funny thing is--no matter how much the suspected AS guy acted inappropriately, everybody let it go. They knew that he wasn't totally responsible for his actions, and while they would get aggravated by him, it wasn't much worse than the treatment everybody else received. Considering that in that situation, the AS guy was seemingly out of line, their mild annoyance was considerably less than would be expected.

My point is that while bullying is a constant threat, it's kind of comforting to know that the times you most expect it, people develop a sense of understanding. I developed a lot of respect for those guys, and I was somewhat ashamed at myself to assume the worst about them, but that had been my own experience throughout highschool.

Only if you look like a victim, which I don't. I walk with my head up and my shoulders straight, so bullies don't give me a second thought.