Diagnosis Frusteration/Relationships

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Hey all,

in short - I recently sought advice from a counsellor at my University's counselling clinic. I went in hopes that could be directed to a psychologist with whom I could discuss a formal diagnosis of Asperger's. Within minutes the counsellor had discounted my claim that I was identifying very closely with aspie traits - her reasoning was that I had the ability to maintain long term intimate relationships (1-3yrs). After having come across aspie information - and having the proverbial ligtbulb switch on in my head (as so many of you have described) you can imagine how frusterated I must be feeling over all of this. My scores on the AAA, EQ and AQ are extremely suggestive that I do fit the bill. Can those who have received a formal diagnosis please offer some feedback? From what I know it isn't uncharacteristic of aspie's to have a close intimate relationship. I certainly still feel an absolute disconnect from the majority of the world - peers, co-workers, friends, parents etc.

There's a lot more to AS then just how someone relates to others or just the way they socialize. If that's the only symptom you have is feeling disconnectd from the rest of the world it's possible you just have some sort of social anxiety or something. So it depends on what other traits or behaviors you have that are symptoms of AS that would help determine if it's that or not.

I think if someone suspects they might have it then a DX from a specialist is a good idea. It would be better to know for sure then to believe something that isn't true. It would be a shame for someone to not live life to its fullest because they believed it so much they "acted" it. I'm not saying you do that but I could see that happening to some people and what a waste that would be.

Go to a proper doctor and insist. Counsellors aren't likely to have much experience in this field, nor are many psychiatrists. You have to see a neurologist or preferrably a psychologist with experience of ASDs.

I'm feeling similarly frustrated. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, because it took me 29 years to figure it out myself, but my parents still don't take me seriously when I tell them I think I have AS. My mom keeps saying I'm just being a hypochondriac (which I admit, I am), and my dad said that all the traits I described as seeing in myself are generalizations that could apply to anyone. That's one of the reasons I'm seeking a diagnosis - so I can have actual "proof".

As for being able to maintain long-term intimate relationships, I really think that's only one aspect of it, and obviously each person is different. If everything else "fits" except for that, I think that would be a pretty strong indication that you do have AS.

I saw a counsellor at university for other reasons, but needless to say they didn't meet my needs nor understand my feelings or personality traits.

As for their idea about relationships, it is nonsense. People with AS can and do form long lasting relationships, though clearly it isn't necessarily easy. From my own perspective, I didn't even have a date until I was 28, but I have been married successfully for 11 years.

I don't think using "length of time of relationship" as a diagnostic tool is particularly helpful.

The feeling of an overall disconnect is by no means the only symptoms with which I am identifying. I originally looked into social phobias and anxieties long before I came upon AS. I would have been somewhat comfortable with a social anxiety/phobia DX, but an AS DX is a much closer description of symptoms that I didn't even realize I had - I mean in the sense that I thought that all of my little peculiarities were just personality traits - but they ended up meshing perfectly with an AS diagnosis. Social issues were certainly my original reasonings for researching disorders and such - but I have come upon several other issues that I thought were just short comings or peculiarities in my own character.

I don't see why you're so pressed to get a diagnosed with Aspergers. There's not really much the Doctors can do for you, except take your money. The counselors at colleges at complete idiots, for all you know, they may be a grad student or just some random person.

I'd say that I am not alone in seeking out a DX. So I wont even get into a discussion of why I am doing it. Beyond that the school counsellor was just a step on the way to real psychologist/specialist. I realize that there is very little that can be done for AS - the anxiety/ensuing depression can, however, be treated. Beyond that I feel Carl Sagan would support my decision. j/k.

With an official dx, Joel can also get help from his university, especially if he might be needing any classroom accomodations.

Joel, that counselor clearly has little experience with ASDs. If you're really set on getting dxed, search around, interview diagnosticians, and see who's got the most experience in:

1. Aspergers
2. your age range
3. your sex (and being male, that likely won't be a problem; males get dxed more)

DON'T go to see a child diagnostician. I made that mistake myself and I really regret it. See someone who has a LOT of experience with adult Aspies.

Everyone else is just a peddling amateur and their opinions should be listened to as much as any random man on the street. Unfortunately, there's just not a lot of experienced diagnosticians out there, but there's lots of "professionals" who like to play like they are.

Look for either a neurologist or a psychologist; most people seemed to have had the best of luck with them. Avoid psychiatrists if you can, they tend not to have as much experience.

As for interviewing diagnosticians, ask them how long they've been seeing ASDs, what ranges they're experienced in, and about how many adult Aspies they've dxed. From those answers you'll get a clearer picture as to how experienced "experienced" is. Some may say "Yes, I'm experienced" but that may mean only a couple Aspies have come through their door. So ask as many questions as possible.

I wrote an article awhile ago, this may help you a bit:
http://asdgestalt.com/viewtopic.php?p=35#35

Sophist,

thank you. It's refreshing and reassuring to receive some clear cut advice - particularly steming from experience.

Many thanks