Seeing yourself

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I'm currently editing home videos on my computer in order to burn DVDs.
What I'm finding odd is seeing myself on the videos and how I come across via my body language and tone of speech. As an outside observer of myself I'd say I look at the least either flat and monotone and often negative, like I'm bored, tired or aggravated. I know I didn't feel that way at the time but that's how I look to others. I often have people ask me what's wrong when nothing is wrong and my parents seem to think I'm a negative person no matter what I do or say. I'd actually say I'm a rather happy person but I sure don't look it.
Has anyone had this realization about their body language/ projection? Is there a good way to learn how to change your body language?

I tend to have a somewhat "stoned" or intoxicated look about me at times due to my tendency to daydream and thus "look at nothing" and the way that my eyelids sometimes droop when I am not concentrating on looking at something specific. My behaviors may not help the perception much.

Have you considered doing something within the realm of drama, such as acting classes, performance poetry, or theater? Even vocal performance has some theatrical elements about it; in all of these, one would receive practice in making one's facial and body expressions match a specific mood.

From the WP thread "What are we like in the eyes of others?" July 11th, 2013:

I think Aspergians tend to live with a high level of unconscious stress, that causes us to appear serious and somewhat unhappy, even when we aren't aware of specifically feeling that way.

This.

I've practiced facial expressions in the mirror; does that count?

I'm uncomfortable seeing myself on video or hearing myself in a recording, though. It wouldn't be a very good tool for learning--I'd be too self-conscious. Even my own face in a mirror looks a bit foreign sometimes.

I know my stress hormone cortisol is extremely elevated because of a medical condition I have but I don't actually feel stressed. Anytime I've looked into ways of reducing it I get a bunch of information thrown at me about relaxation techniques, etc., even from the doctor who diagnosed me, but I really don't think there's anything conscious I can do to reduce it any significant amount.

I did take an acting class years ago in college. I can be "on" when I'm consciously focusing on it but nobody can act 24/7. I don't want to come off as a phony with a goofy grin all the time either. My natural relaxed face seems to be a frown instead of a neutral look. I can put on a show and nail a job interview or first introduction to someone but eventually they see me not putting on the song and dance and that's that. The last time I worked I only lasted a couple weeks before they held a "secret" staff meeting without me and decided to get rid of me because of personality conflict. I *thought* all I ever did was was be accommodating and helpful but apparently my co-workers felt otherwise, which looking back seems to be the norm for me. I just never got fired for it before then.

This video may be of some amusement to you:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk[/youtube]

I'm sorry that you got fired for such a trivial misunderstanding as a supposed "personality conflict."

I practice facial expressions in the mirror, comparing my expression to a photo that has the desired expression.

Exactly! LOL

I have more of a frown than a neutral expression especially when I am concentrating. My tone is often loud and I have been told I speak with an attitude. At times I knowingly speak like that because I am very frustrated or something unrelated has upset me.

I'm not gonna even try to work on my facial expressions or my body language. I will just surround myself with people that don't give me any trouble for it and ignore the people who do.

This seems to be relatively common in autistic people-- reminds me of all the cases where police have accosted or even arrested autistic people for "being drunk" when they were merely being themselves.

I don't know a good way to overhaul your body language, but I have been shocked to see myself on camera and see just how gangly and awkward I look. From my own perspective day-to-day I don't notice anything weird, but on the camera I come across as odd: my posture is slouched, I have a weird gait, and something subtle is off about the rest of my body language that I can't put my finger on. In more recent videos I don't seem to be as weird as when I was a child/teen-- those ones are almost excruciating for me to watch.

My look is clueless, I think, even when I have a clue.

??

I blank out in front of a mirror.

I always come across as happy, and I am always smiling.

Now, my NT partner just said to me yesterday that I seem grouchy a lot but she still loves me. Damn this BRF!
Here's another video about it that I thought was funny:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfrIegPtey4[/youtube]