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is it easier to talk to someone who also has AS

Hmm hard to say. I assume you mean in real life. In college my friends tended to have fairly strong social skills. The people who
in hind sight I dx as having AS I liked but was not very close to them.

i don't like talking to anyone in RL.
i like to stay quiet. i also listen to other ppl talk. i find talking out loud takes too much effort.
i know 1 other person in RL who has AS and when i hang out with him, he just talks and talks. he talks about history and stuff, i have little interest in history. i noticed he seems to be very unaware of whats going on around him, he will start talking very loud, cross the street without looking, etc. i remember one time i had to stop him because he almost stepped in front of a speeding car. he jokes about it as the time i saved his life.

There would be a certain amount of relaxation because you know why the other guy isn't looking at you, but of course you'd have to know that the other person has AS.

Thanks, I traced it myself!

Me and my friend never really look at each other when talking, as your theory states. I also meant other AS things that show up when socialising, like a disinterest in certain subjects.

I agree with KBABZ. I think it would be easier as long as you both know you have AS because you'd understand each other. There's some guy I work with that seemed to be sort of interested in me. I knew there was no way I was going to do the whole relationship thing with him but I like him because he reminded me of myself in his behavior. However, when I tried talk to him, I guess I came on too strong and now he seems scared of me. So now it's just plain awkward when we say anything to each other, even just hello. We act like 2 shy 12 year olds.

This was all before I knew I had AS. Now, I'm almost positive he has AS but I'm not 100% sure. I thought about telling him I have it but changed my mind. So, I have written him a letter and am giving it to him next week just to let him know I was never after him.

I really want to get to know him only because he's the only person I know who exhibits AS behaviors. To him though, I think he sees me as the typical NT woman who is after him for something more than just friendship. He runs from me like he sees me as some lady who calls herself Bunny, Pixie or Barbie. It annoys the hell out of me when he runs because clearly he's got it all wrong.

You all are pathetic, come on, of course it is easy as hell to talk with another aspie.

*award to droopy*

SilentJohn, what if you didn't know the other person had AS, and vice versa? You'd be gawping at each other thinking why you weren't talking. And when you do hit a topic, the other person would be disinterested and it'd die quickly.

True, this may happen if you knew the other had AS and vice versa, but at least you know WHY, and don't take it that the other person is just being rude or doesn't want to talk to you.

i've had mixed results. my former business partner was very aspie, and he was turned off by my "chummy" conversation style, he wanted something more formal. at work, there are aspies on a different wavelength from me. chit-chat with them is easy, but if we try to discuss work, we quickly disagree and lock up.

if you have the ungodly luck to meet an aspie of the opposite sex with exactly the same quirks as you, then your life will probably be happier than 99% of humanity. but that sounds unlikely..

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. It very much depends on who you are talking to, what they like talking about, how much they talk, listen etc, how much you talk, listen etc, and other contributing factors.

My best friend is definitely an Aspie and we are different. She is definitely the more extroverted of us. She believes in selling her writing and art, where I believe it is whoring my gift. So, you would think there would be a breakdown there, but we have flareups over it and they quickly dissipate. We became friends in college. She was playing the same music over and over again and I went and yelled at her because it was on my nerves and I was trying to write. Then, she started to just show up and sit for hours writing in my dorm room with me. No talking, just writing. It was very restful. She could read social clues better, so when we went to parties together, she would clue me in to what people really meant. It was like having a private interpreter! That has kind of switched over the years because I work in the real world while she works on her own, so I am exposed to people more than she is. Now, I tell her what the clues are. We've been friends for 28 years now.


I would say overall though, that I am closer to my husband even from a friend aspect. He's NT, but OCD. His difference and mine compliment each other very well. He is much more extroverted than I am in that he joins company teams and even organizes them. I am "the odd wife." LOL But, he is smart enough to keep that need for extroversion away from me and focusing it elsewhere. He's quiet and very intellectual at home. We have many of the same interests and we like to pursue them. He is very, very good at running interference for me where people are concerned. He tells me what is going on with them and he won't tolerate them being unkind to me or taking up too much of my time. I know that people look at us when we're together and think he is controlling...he is. He's is controlling of my environment and I love that about him. It makes life so much calmer and nicer for me. Plus, I love all of his order and his need to take care of everything. I hate all the "stuff" to do with everyday life. I'd rather just walk away from it then deal with it myself. Best of all, he makes sure I eat and he's a great cook!