Hey!
I'm still dragging my feet on setting up a diagnostic appointment and I noticed mention of someone taking Effexor and Adderall.
I realize this may be somewhat awkward to share but I'd like more information to go on, particularly from diagnosed Aspies.
Let me share my developmental background:
- I was born in 1980. I saw doctors almost exclusively when very ill as a child. I doubt I effectively could have been diagnosed.
- 3: I walked on the tips of my toes. I spoke precociously. I had odd stimming rituals. My grandmother nagged my parents into having me see a specialist. My mother can't remember the exact findings but she THINKS the specialist suggested I might be in the early stages of palsy due to my awkward coordination.
- 7: I was not privy to most of the discussion regarding this at the time but my second grade teacher had me evaluated by a child psychologist, ostensibly because she was afraid I might be suicidal or oddly affected, at least. I thought at the time that I was being evaluated for retardation. (My second grade teacher was NOT the brightest person and couldn't appreciate questions like "What makes shadows?" At home, I was learning about genetics and relativity and dinosaurs. At school, teachers dismissed and struggled with my questions and my classmates didn't "get" me.
I went through a number of tests, most of which were puzzles. I know that the psychologist's conclusion was that I was "possibly a genius" but also prone to depression and anxiety.
- 8: "Genius-range" IQ confirmed two school systems later. 144, I think. Roughly the same as my mother -- however she doesn't count 144 as genius. Apparently, she was always told genius is 160 and above.
- 12: I had my first filling. The dentist insisted on putting me on valium. I've never been treated by a dentist since who didn't insist on using valium, laughing gas or both. Even when I don't feel anxious, they claim I'm too anxious to treat otherwise.
-12-17: Scored the max in verbal on every standardized test. PhD vocabulary at age 12 or so. Perfect verbal SAT. Later a perfect verbal regents score.
- 17: Started having anxiety attacks. Diagnosed ADD (however NOT ADHD) after being evaluated for motor reflexes, spontaneity, attention span, etc. using puzzles and computer programs. Prescribed Adderall in various doses. Started having heightened anxiety and meltdowns on Adderall. (I beat a pillow to shreds at the height of my frustration.)
- 20: Diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Took Paxil. Became manic. My emotional state crashed and I left college for the second time.
- 22: Further depression and social anxiety issues. Spent a week in an institution being evaluated for schizophrenia, which was ruled out. Diagnosis of bipolar (both axis 1 and axis 2) suggested. (Never made sense to me since I had no history of acting out or doing anything dangerous. I never even learned to swim or ride a bike!!) Prescribed Effexor, Depacote and Paxil. Felt incredibly numb. Quit medication and convinced doctor that all previous diagnoses were in error, which doctor agreed with.
- 23: Started college again. Made steady gains in coping skills and social interaction. First kiss. (It was a stage kiss and I got mono from it.)
- 24: First real kiss. At a party. Lost her number. Became anxious.
- 25: Parents read about AS. Gave me several screeners. Coping skills fluctuated. Went to see school counselor but he kept falling asleep in session. Whenever I indicated that I wanted educational assessment, he would say he'd rather talk about my study skills. And then he'd fall asleep.
- 26: I had my first ever date (With the first kiss girl). Became very anxious. Think I weirded her out a bit. She's too busy for any relationships but she at least calls me every few weeks to talk for a few hours, no matter how badly I screw up. She asked me to see a movie with her in July. Which seems odd to me to plan that far ahead but it's comforting to have at least a friend who tolerates my social faus paxes and plans on seeing me in six months. Had increased anxiety following the date. Procrastinated and avoided talking to a professor. Started skipping that class. Got a Xanax prescription starting in January.
I'd like to be able to compare, especially with diagnosed people.
However, if you're not comfortable sharing, I'd appreciate any feedback regarding the information I've volunteered as it relates to AS.
28 Jan 2007, 11:48 pm
)
