Issues in the workplace

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I'm a 34 year old male from the UK.Ever since leaving school I have struggled in work and also finding work.First of all I'm very quiet and usually find conversation difficult and find it difficult to keep conversations going or just cannot relate to what others are talking about.Also I'm slower than a lot of workers and find instructions difficult sometimes and supervisors become angry when I ask them to repeat them.Because of this I quickly become singled out and get treated badly by co workers and get picked on.Before I know it I'm out of a job.I get accused of things like not being a 'team player' and unmotivated.I'm sure my old supervisor used to give me instructions that were deliberately vague to try to trip me up.This was when I tried working as a forklift driver and I failed every time.When I was unemployed and at the jobcenter they asked me if I would go back to warehouse work.When I said no they asked why and I told them I just couldn't do it again.They basically told me I was making excuses and made it apart of my jobseeker agreement whether I liked it or not so if they found me that kind of work and I refused they would have cancelled my benefits.

I know some of my previous employers have given me bad references because I have been told by employers I went to job interviews for.An interviewer told me that my last employer told me 'not to touch me with a pole' despite the fact I really did try whilst being treated like crap by my co-workers.When I challenged them about this they pretended they didn't know anything.Legally employers aren't supposed to give you a bad reference but unless you can prove it you got nothing on them.

This has pretty much been it for me and only a small handful of jobs have worked out since school.I have had to lie a lot on my CV to cover up jobs that haven't worked out.A couple of recruitment agencies have even refused to employ me at all because the said I didn't come across as being very 'warm and friendly' and there was something about me they 'couldn't put their finger on' despite the fact I tried to be civil with them and didn't even know what I did wrong.Why would I deliberately be rude to them if I need them to give me a job?

I'm now working as a security guard.I chose this profession because you only work with one other person or on your own and you don't have much going on which is good for me.But already I'm experiencing problems in this job I have been in for 3 months.The guy I work with has told me he thinks I'm weird because I'm quiet.He has asked me twice if I'm gay even though I'm not and last night he even asked me if I would 'commit a high school shooting' which I thought was a disgusting thing to ask me as things like that happen in real life and its not the sort of thing you ask your co-workers.He told me he asked because he thinks I'm weird and quiet which I cant help.I'm constantly worrying now if this job is going to go like a lot of the others.

This is why I really need to get a formal diagnosis so I might get better help in the workplace but all my doctors are refusing to listen to me and don't even bother to read the paperwork I give them that supports my claim, like I'm just wasting their time.

Has anybody else experienced this at all?

The Autistic traits plus bad economy mean a very hard time finding and keeping a job. Not impossible people on the spectrum have maintained full time employment and marriage and families but most on the spectrum have had significant problems in this area.

This is a recent thread here about this topic
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt159958.html

I have had gay men sexually harass me twice. I assume they thought I was gay because they noticed lack of female partners.

well, i've had similar experiences with work reviews. "you are careless" "you need to try harder" "you make too many mistakes" "you don't seem like you're all there". this with me trying my hardest, re-reviewing all my own work three or four times, etc. etc. and, what's never said but is obvious.... "you just don't fit in."

i fully believe part of this has to do with not KNOWING i was AS and therefore not being able to address the core problem. instead, i just tried harder again and again, failed again and again, beat myself up again and again, lose more and more confidence.

now that i am aware of being AS, i am actively trying to find a type of work that plays to my strengths. i'm seriously considering starting a lifestyle business, just trying to sort through the options and figure out what i could be passionate about and make money doing, that i can do at a relaxed pace.

in trying to figure out why i've had so many employment problems, it was actually spotted first that i have pretty severe complex PTSD as well,which gets hugely triggered by authority figures and coworkers alike.

I am not really employable for all those reasons.

I think the best option for you is to find a job that is unionized. Once you pass your probation period of about 6 months you have an almost rock solid guarantee that you won't get fired as it's extremely hard to fire a unionized worker. Even if you do do something wrong the managers usually don't write you up because it's a hassle to fill out and send out all the paperwork. After the offense you get a strike, you have 6 strikes before they can officially fire you. The strikes reset every 6 months.

I myself work in a medical field and have 1199 which is awesome, if you're full time you will get full health coverage - dental, vision, prescriptions, md. in addition to holiday pay, overtime etc etc. From personal experience, I would come to work late, EVERY DAY. I would come in 30min to an hour late every day for about 3 months. I got many warnings but was ever written up. Actually the closest I got to being fired was when I missed 2 days of work without notifying anybody, just didn't show up for 2 days in a row. And I work in a very busy customer oriented environment in a small team,
so if I don't show the whole workplace gets stuck. When I came in the next day, they said they've already sent out paperwork to get me fired. Thankfully I'm pretty good friends with the manager so I was able to talk my way out, said I could provide a doctors note that I was in the hospital for 2 days. So they talked to their boss and basically got me off the hook. All I got was a write up. (Did have to pay my md $200 for a note but that's just a consequence of my carelessness) So even with this GIANT misstep which I'm sure would have gotten me fired in almost any place all I got was a write up and a stern warning that I'll be automatically terminated if this happens again.

I'm also kind of introverted with people I don't know well, thankfully the people I work with are like my second family, so I can open up and relax somewhat. But in general I do make some mistakes as I get distracted easily, and one of my coworkers openly dislikes me. I find ways to keep her at bay but I agree it is very demotivating. Still I've been in this position for almost 5 years, started when I was 18 now I'm 23, and plan on staying here until I finish my college work, get a degree and get a stable job.

But just to point you in some direction you shout look for jobs like a nurse assistant, or a pharmacy technician, preferrably in the hospital as the work tends to be much more laid back. But yea, any job in the hospital will get you into the union. None of these jobs really require any training as you're taught on the work floor. You can do some reaserach in the area maybe read a few books and just walk in and ask if they're hiring. You don't need any references so previous jobs won't matter at all.

Anyways, don't give up as theres always something out there, xs.

Derpy, I have had a lot of the same type of workplace problems.

I had a lot of trouble getting hired for jobs because of my awkwardness, appearance not up to their standards, weak interpersonal skills. I have had people be uneasy with my strangeness or become angry with my weirdness and eccentricity, and badly disturbed by my quietness. They thought I had a bad attitude because I didn't understand or laugh at jokes or have small talk to add to the conversations. Just like with you, they thought that my being quiet made me suspicious and untrustworthy, and a potential victimizer or that I was plotting criminal behavior. Predation and criminal behavior are totally NOT my personality. I also had people thinking I was gay and approaching me about it. I too sometimes need people to repeat things they say, and I usually apologized that I have to do it. I didn't get as many bad marks on my record because I have had fewer employments. I mostly never made it past dropping in my application to an employer on most of my job seeking attempts, and failed most of the few interviews done. The Army was my best employer. They didn't want to get rid of me until I got my injuries. People just not liking me couldn't get me booted, not even people thinking I was gay.

Once I found out I might have Aspergers, I wanted a diagnosis ASAP. I recently got my diagnosis of Aspsergers plus comorbid Sensory Processing Disorder.

I hope you can get your diagnosis, Derpy.


Opi,

Regrettably, your bad experiences with doctors are all too common. Please see the following old thread for some helpful advice: "Guidance for UK Assessment & Diagnosis through the NHS", http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt227311.html . (Edit. Based upon what you have written in another thread, you may first have to get a new GP.)

Once you have a diagnosis, if you end up unemployed again, make sure you tell the job centre you are autistic. They will still be unhelpful, but it will make it harder for them to screw you over.